AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

And if she honestly believes she owned the car as he had gifted it to her once the finance was paid off, then why did she hand over the keys?

I think you're the one who has misunderstood. the car is in HIS name not the OPs.

OP, I am quite surprised about how you’ve been treated on here.

my ex was an arse too.

was he on the insurance?
cancel it.
cancel road tax.

hold your head high xx

@Walkerss why did you give him the keys if it was fully paid up and as agreed when you bought it with the nursery/car payment split, your car?

Whose name was on the finance agreement? Regardless of where the money came from to pay it or who’s name was on the registration-the name on the finance agreement is the legal owner.

Based on your post you’ve been aware of his threat (and right potentially) to take the car for some time. So I think this one is on you. On the positive though, as you say…he has nothing else to behold over you.

Everyone seems to have ignored this @Imdunfer. Unless @Walkerss has been paying for specialised insurance allowing her to insure a car that doesn't belong to her or her spouse, she has had invalid insurance for 3 years. Normal insurance companies do not allow you to insure a vehicle that you do not own and you are not on the V5.

Which means she's actually been breaking the law all this time. The registered keeper should have been changed to her. It doesn't alter who owns the car.

The registered keeper of a car is not a record of the legal owner of the car. There is no way of registering a car as your possession. You would have to prove that you bought it or had been given it.

Isn't it just that the lease has come to an end and there's a lump sum to pay off if he wants to keep it? The timing fits with that.

The cars in his name.

Again, another dim comment. Where am I suggesting you need to sort it in 5 minutes, lol?

Oh yes, it takes 5 minutes to buy a car.🙄

It is obviously a dickish move

I understand about the 3 years but he took the car back with no notice. No care how his children will get to school.

Right.
I've been through a divorce that got so nasty, I couldn't believe he was the same man I married.
Women should never take it on trust, always protect yourself financially - we're nearly always the ones who end up doing most of the childcare, and/or going P/T or taking a career break to facilitate this. At least 50% of men seem to turn nasty on divorce, even if (or especially if!) they're leaving for someone else - and even if it affects his DC.

She paid for the car through the nursery fees arrangement.

What are people not seeing here???

He OWES her for half the car as she paid for ALL of the nursery fees and he paid nothing as per their agreement.

The responses on this thread are just odd. Did people misunderstand the OP? The car was paid off by the time they split, and during their time together he paid for the car and she paid for nursery. Like him paying utilities and her paying for food.
@WalkerssI’m furious on your behalf. If the car is registered in your name then I’d question if he could actually take it legally.

I hope you've cancelled the insurance. With any luck, he won't insure it and he'll get nicked.

IMHO, you should have realised he'd do this.

If you struggle getting kids to school, maybe you should look at changing schools. If kids moan at early starts and bus journeys, tell them it's because daddy took the car away. Just that, no nastiness,say you don't know why. No need to be nasty, but also no need to hide his pettiness from them.

Obviously not overnight. What a dim comment. 🙄
3 years post divorce/separation, I think it’s time to stand on one’s own feet.

It sounds like you did actually pay for half the car because you covered the nursery fees but unfortunately there can be only one name on the V5. Without his agreement you couldn’t have put it into your name. If I was you I would cancel the insurance and the car tax (stop the dd). If you paid it for a year or 6 months I don’t think you can get a refund without a change of name on the log book. I would then send him an invoice for half of the nursery fees that you paid. If that was the agreement when you were toughen he owes you as he has taken the car back! Some men are just arseholes and I’m sorry your children are impacted x

Oh I get it @Walkerss
The real was you paid nursery he paid car - you need car and made decisions for the children based on you having a car.

Not sure why you agreed to the original deal - because after paying nursery fees you have nothing in hand whereas he has a legally owned car

I assume he has money flow problems and it is in his mind his asset and he needs it back

Only thing you can do is make sure he pays every penny he should for kids going forward. Do you split additional costs? Winter coats, school trips, looking after them on holidays?

You need to make selfish decisions now going forward, selfish financial decisions like he does, can you expand to full-time work? Make sure he covers whatever you have agreed in childcare, 50/50 means 50% of sick days etc.

You need to think and act (with him) like a man.

If you have a budget for a car, or someone (your parents) could lend you some money you could drive out of a dealership with a car on Saturday. It’s possible. That would piss him off (as an added bonus)

The only mistake you made in this arrangement was not putting car in your name but then he might have stopped paying for it. And not have paid nursery- so you need to think was it the only way you could’ve got that money towards expenses at the time?

At least you weren’t paying for a car in his name he has just driven away, there’s that. Some women would because changing name over is too much hard work.

The moment he left you he erased any emotional connection to you despite your children. He rewrote history. As soon as he got sex elsewhere, his loyalty to you effectively died. It's shit, but that's the reality of how the majority of them work. We see it time and time again.

An even half decent man would have transferred that car's ownership to you when he walked out.

I wouldn't have handed those keys over personally, I reckon there is a legal claim to that vehicle given what you've said. However, that's a load of hassle and arguments and the reality is you were not properly insured if you were doing the 'spouse as owner' thing that insurers allow. I think you would have had issues come a claim.

Hope you can get some new wheels sorted soon x

Overnight ? It’s so easy to just go and buy a car.

From what you’re saying, the issue isn’t that he’s taken the car, it’s that he’s timed it to have maximum impact on the kids and on you. I agree that it would have been wise for you to have sorted a car in your own name sooner, however it’s not wrong of you to think that if he did change his mind about the car he’d at least give you sufficient notice to sort a replacement. Hope you get something sorted quickly. As you said, at least the prat doesn’t have anything to hold over you now. And in the future, you can remember his when he needs a favour.

@Walkerss

He is a twat!!

As PP have said, cancel the insurance etc straight away.

Personally, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of this bothering you as it’s all about control with him.