AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

Hindsight is 20/20 - I can guarantee when she was still married to this man and living as a family she wasn’t worrying about whether the financial split arrangements would give them equal assets in the event they split up and he became a total arsehole

I feel like he did snatch the car back the day before she had to take the kids to school, but that just didn’t happen yesterday it happened a couple of months ago.

Not sure why it’s a less dickish thing to do because she asked two months later??

"And one he snatched back the night before it was needed to take his kids to school with no notice or warning??"

He didn't though. They've been walking to their new school, and he knows that. Apparently. OP has repeatedly lied, and changed her story pretty much every time she posts.

He probably is a dick, and if she'd have come here and said 'my ex is a dick, he took the car back with no warning, it's not the end of the world, but it's annoyed me', I'm sure she would have got more people sympathising (I definitely would have been sympathetic). But instead she's changed her story every time and been arsey and combative with everyone to boot.

She was silly to agree to pay for something that left her with no asset, while he got to pay for an asset - yes he is a prick, but she really should be over this two years later.

You've obviously not read the full thread, or even the OPs posts

Why are so many people saying “but it’s his car”?? A car he could only afford to buy FOR the OP because she paid nursery fees for their child/ren…

And one he snatched back the night before it was needed to take his kids to school with no notice or warning??

If it happened two years ago - based on your claim you split 3 years ago - You had been split up for a year and he had already told you multiple times he was taking back the car. He did. So you have had your children in a school walking distance for 2 years. Now he is living with someone else and applied to reduce CMS. You haven't increased your own working hours even though your children are at school, not nursery nor got another car within those two years?

None of these are actions towards his kids, they are actions towards you

1. He doesn't want YOU to have his car, and he removed it from YOU. His kids now walk to school so don't need the car...
2. He is entitled to do this. He is responsible first to pay for the children in his household; you might not like it, but take it up with the government.
3. How can he wish them well if he didn't see them?
4. Again...he is entitled to apply to reduce payments if he is doing more coparenting than declared
5. you have no right to his address, my DH's ex doesn't know our address...not because we hate her, actually, we all get on fine, but because he does pick-ups and drop-offs, and she has never asked...because she doesn't need to know. (Obvs we'd tell her if she needed to know).

Yet you posted this trying to attack me when you know full well you can get your children to school and now you are saying it's his problem if he can't get them to school because you changed schools.

You only posted this to attack other people who don't bow down in sympathy to you. Unfortunately MN admin don't agree you are not genuine. You certainly aren't posting in good faith.

@20centurySteph The children were already at the new school before she posted this thread. He knows they had started the new school as she is complaining he didn't wish them a good day at their new school when they started as it wasn't his day.

Yes. And maybe he did already know that she could sort it. Maybe he already knew that school would ultimately not be an issue. That doesn’t mean he didn’t really cause hardship. He could just ask easily have waited a week until after they started the school where they walked. He could’ve told her he wanted the car back on the first, and given her a few weeks to navigate getting a replacement. I would argue that people are way too focused on the detail of school. That was provided of as an example of one of the ways in which his taking the car made her life difficult that affected the kids. And yeah, it was one of the clearest examples that would get her some sympathy. Again, all she wanted to vent. And someone to agree either with her that her former partner was a jerk.

She already posted that she applied to the school before he took the car away.

This thread has been about a mother who wants to vent, because their former partner is making life more difficult than it has to be simply because he can. And she might not have known that she could get the kids into the closer school or start them in the closer school until after he took the car away.It’s about the principal of the matter. From the very beginning, she’s never said it was an insurmountable issue, or one she couldn’t fix. I never read it as more than a temporary inconvenience.

And said he didn't know they'd changed schools and it wasn't her problem that he didn't know, then immediately changed that to he DID know and was involved in the process.

I reckon drugs or trolling or severe mental health issues. Or all three.

????

You told everyone you couldn't get your child to school as he had taken the car. You said "last night he turned up and demanded the keys".

And then you told everyone that you had changed your kids school and could not walk to school.

Please stop with the lies.

The tables have turned because you lied.

People don't like liars.

People took time and effort to write helpful responses and it was all for nothing as you didn't even need a car to take your kids to school.

To get sympathy and people can you advice on a situation that wasn't happening.

@Walkerss he sounds like a nightmare. He’s out for what he can get and wants to “win” by the sounds of it. Some men (my ex being one of them) is exactly like this and goes back on agreements all the time when it suits him.

the original agreement was you paid the entire nursery bill which we all know is a lot, and he paid the car payment which would have in my experience been a lot smaller. And so you went ahead and paid the nursery on good faith, and then he takes the car.

I would be really cross too. He probably saw you doing really well without him and decided to take you down a peg or too.

I know it is hard OP but don’t get stuck by this. Move past it, get a new car for yourself, and right now think is there anything else that he might think is his, anything at all? Anything in the garage or an old coat of his? If so, get it together and return it to him - you will feel so much better.

You posted about this YESTERDAY saying you couldn't get the kids to school. That was a lie

We all agree your ex is a nob. I wish you well.