To think my dd is being unfair for wanting concert tickets after she said granddaughter can’t go with grandson?

No ..my 13 year old DD would not be going in to London in the evening on any night with any 17 year old ..never mind a brother or half brother she doesn't know .
So if he stays in his room when they come over ,they basically don't know each other..it doesn't make sense..why would be not want them in the house .or not want them in his room ,yet want to go to a concert with one of them.
A weed smoking boy ,who dropped out of education,would not be taking my DD anywhere..I can't imagine he would be able to be responsible for her ,unless someone..an adult was taking the pair of them ,it would be a no from me .
However
The mother sounds unhinged
The son needs CAMHS appointments

She’s too young to go. He sounds like he could be a risk to a girl, even his sister, it’s a bit suspicious/ odd he wants nothing to do with her, blocked her etc then wanted to take her out. Spends a lot of time online…. I would not allow it either. That part is not unreasonable in the slightest. HOWEVER it is absolutely beyond unreasonable to expect him to give them the tickets!!! That is outrageous. Ask him if he’ll take you and you’ll treat to a McDonald’s or whatever before hand.

Was it that his mother abandoned him? Or SS removal? If he’s not already been in therapy/ counselling for most of his life - he needs to be. Either bound to affect him and clearly your daughter/ his mother has severe issues too. Counselling might help him get his life together. He also needs to get volunteering if not in education or work.

i’d want to buy myself a ticket and take them both.

your daughter is a right piece of work.

he cannot win here.

if he doesn’t take his sister the girl will cry and her mum will blame him and say “he never wanted to take you nobody likes you” or somwthimg to hurt the child.

nope. i think you tell him it’s a very kind thing and youll help them by goimg too. but in future not to spend his money on tickets without clearing it first with his mum and you.

Why do you feel uneasy?

I think it’s lovely and shows what a kind young man he’s becoming.

I know, I really hope there is someone in the world that is on the GS’s side and who he can rely on and I hope that person is the OP.

That poor, poor boy!!
My heart broke for his after reading that.

Your DD is a complete bitch and a terrible mother and I’d struggle to ever have contact with her again.

However, I think it’s best he takes someone else.
Even if his sister was allowed to go, they will likely need ID and be turned away without it - that’s a complete waste of money.

Does he have anyone else he can go with?

Exactly this. Do NOT let this happen OP.

His mother seriously wants him to give away his only birthday present? I hope you stood up for him.

Can he take a friend? Can you go?

Please, please let him know that he was doing a really nice thing here and it is his mother that has let down his sister and NOT him. He does not deserve to be guilt tripped like this.

Doesn’t anyone else feel uneasy about the thought of a just turned 17 year old, and quite a troubled, vulnerable one at that, taking his 13 year old sister to a concert? Especially if they aren’t being dropped off and picked up.

His mam is a nasty piece of work

I think it a bit over zealous to say London is too far (but understand its her prerogative as a parent) for a 13 yr old but reasonable to think a London concert on a school night may not be wise.
Agree ,it sounds strange to express the above reservations but then want the tickets regardless.
As for inferring your GS is doing something wrong to want to do something nice for himself with his sister,thats a bit weird.
I think there is something deeper going on here than the details re distance,school night etc.
I think there is a reason your DD want your GD to go to a concert with your GS and i dont think it distance or timing.
Could it be your DD doesn't trust your GS,does she not want them to spend time together alone for some reason,is she worried about his level of responsiblity,drug use etc?
What do you think your DD side of this story would be?

I know you said he's giving you a bit of a hard time but I feel really bad for your grandson, and just want to give him a hug.
How sad for him that, for whatever reason, he lives apart from his mum and siblings. Even though your daughter doesn't sound nice he must feel so conflicted with his emotions.

Can you go with both the kids to the concert?

Is there anyone else he could take with him? Shame for him to not go. I’m afraid his mother doesn’t seem to be in the running for mother of the year, poor kid.

Would your DD accept it if you took them to the venue and then travelled back with them if she’s worried about her 14yr old daughter?

Yes she is being unfair. But it sounds like this is not unusual for her. Is there any way you can get involved with this, such as travel into London with them

That’s awful, your poor grandson (and granddaughter!) There must be more to this story with your daughter…. I assume that she isn’t a very nice person? Why don’t she and her son have a relationship?

Some local authorities do offer post SGO support especially if you GS was a LAC prior to you taking him. At his age it’s going to be tricky and I wish you well once he turns the magic 18yrs old. If he wants to try and build a closer relationship with this sibling can you help facilitate that at home, as presumably the mum is okay with them coming to visit you.

Your daughter sounds like a horrible woman, thank goodness he has you. His behaviour is pretty normal for someone that age who is depressed or traumatised. I’d be telling him to take a friend or someone else instead of his sister if his mum is going to be like this. I’d also get him to contact said sister and ensure she knows that her mother is the problem. Really awful behaviour from her towards the poor boy.

Your daughter is evil and a monster. How abusive of her. Poor grandson. Can’t believe this is actually real and creatures like your daughter exist in reality

Don't dare let him give his birthday gift to his sister. How profoundly depressing that he must minimize himself on his birthday to such a degree at the behest of his mother. You can't enable this as his only supporter.

His mom sounds horrible with the on off blocking and everything else.

What is actually wrong with your daughter OP?

…I mean I feel like this is the least of his worries when it comes to his mum…

I’d tell your daughter that you are taking them both. You don’t have to go to the actual concert. You can get them to the venue and meet them afterward. Then your daughter doesn’t have to worry about her daughter, your grandson and grand daughter can have a shot at building a relationship and you are on hand as a responsible adult.

poor lad, it sounds like a sad situation. I’d move heaven and earth to show him he’s got someone working with him.

Why does your DD not want your GS to go to the concert with his sister?

So your daughter gave her own son nothing for his birthday? Have I got this right?