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Original poster

Stop trying to be dramatic. It's "They didn't invite me" not "I WAS EXCLUDED!!!"

42 replies

Cloudbusting2 · 09/09/2026 06:28

Yes, yes I know already it's technically the correct term, no need to wank on about it.

But we also all know why "excluded" is all over mumsnet - over and over it's "excluded" this and "shunned" that.

FFS, not getting invited somewhere is not the eye watering drama you want desperately to believe it is.

Grow up. Get over it. And even if it is rude, or deliberate, stop saying "excluded", you sound like an attention seeking drama queen trying to give a nothingburger, an absolutely average life event, a whiff of formality and importance.

OP posts:
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comeoncolleen · 09/09/2026 20:54

'Excluded' seems to have changed its meaning. I was perplexed when a member of a friend group said we should move our Christmas event to accommodate one member who had decided to go on holiday in the week when we always hold the event every year, because it wasn't fair to 'exclude' her.

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/09/2026 16:04

Being shunned and excluded is fucking great. It means you don’t have to pretend to like people or give a shit about them. Perfect!

TremendousFlatulence · 09/09/2026 15:55

Hugs OP. You sound overtired and a bit overwhelmed.

Cup of tea and a lie down maybe?

AppleButterGutter · 09/09/2026 15:49

@PensionPTake

I very much doubt that I know OP personally, but then neither do you, yet you implied she was a bitch.

KaleidoscopeSmile · 09/09/2026 15:48

Cloudbusting2 · 09/09/2026 06:28

Yes, yes I know already it's technically the correct term, no need to wank on about it.

But we also all know why "excluded" is all over mumsnet - over and over it's "excluded" this and "shunned" that.

FFS, not getting invited somewhere is not the eye watering drama you want desperately to believe it is.

Grow up. Get over it. And even if it is rude, or deliberate, stop saying "excluded", you sound like an attention seeking drama queen trying to give a nothingburger, an absolutely average life event, a whiff of formality and importance.

Are you referring to the recent poster who wasn't invited to her SiLs hen do - she'd barely ever met her - but felt she was excluded rather than not invited?

If so I agree completely and thought the same thing at the time.

PensionPTake · 09/09/2026 15:45

AppleButterGutter · 09/09/2026 14:56

It doesn't sound like anything of the sort.

OP is simply tired of the tiniest of normal, everyday happenings being blown out of all proportion and made out to be dramas worthy of counselling, medication and hand-holding.

She wouldn't have "excluded" anyone. She simply wouldn't have invited them.
No need for anyone to get "pulled up" or called a bitch.

Show quote history

Oh i assume you know her personally then.

AppleButterGutter · 09/09/2026 14:56

PensionPTake · 09/09/2026 13:36

Oh dear. Sounds like op has been pulled up for being a bitch to someone and excluding them

It doesn't sound like anything of the sort.

OP is simply tired of the tiniest of normal, everyday happenings being blown out of all proportion and made out to be dramas worthy of counselling, medication and hand-holding.

She wouldn't have "excluded" anyone. She simply wouldn't have invited them.
No need for anyone to get "pulled up" or called a bitch.

PensionPTake · 09/09/2026 13:36

Oh dear. Sounds like op has been pulled up for being a bitch to someone and excluding them

LlynTegid · 09/09/2026 12:43

Overdramatic language is not unique to the use of 'excluded' instead of not invited. The OP has a valid point.

In the same way, can we not overuse 'Literally', 'Big' and in particular 'Devastated', please

Quotemenot · 09/09/2026 12:42

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Original poster
Cloudbusting2 · 09/09/2026 12:05

Many thanks to the drama queens in the comments proving my point 😅 Jesus you people take your self important selves so seriously.

No wonder you're always shunned and excluded 😆

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Cloudbusting2 · 09/09/2026 12:04

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Original poster
Cloudbusting2 · 09/09/2026 12:02

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No, I don't. But you already know that. HTH 😆

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Anuder · 09/09/2026 10:04

Nothingburger is the new term I have learned this week if nothing else.

Bunnyofhope · 09/09/2026 10:03

Call it whatever you fancy. But if you were not invited it's absolutely always because the inviter did not want you there as much as the people the people they did invite. Which is fine and does not need analysis.

Imanautumn · 09/09/2026 10:01

Yetanothername3 · 09/09/2026 06:36

You were not invited because people did not want you there.
Now, let us think about why that may be?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

LaterSunrise · 09/09/2026 09:59

gannett · 09/09/2026 09:38

Don't forget being SNUBBED when someone else is in a rush and doesn't have time to chat.

It's funny comparing the two great genres of invite threads on MN. First, the ones wailing about being EXCLUDED and SHUNNED and SNUBBED by a distant in-law they only saw twice a year at family gatherings. Second, the offence taken and pursed mouths about SELF-INDULGENCE when a close friend dares to invite you on a night out for her birthday.

Yes to all this! What makes it extra-funny is that the worst thing you can be for many Mners is 'attention-seeking' or having 'Main Character Syndrome', yet you'd need to have a serious case of both to reorient the world around yourself to the extent that you view every social interaction as a matter of you being shunned/excluded/snubbed/expected to countenance the Extreme Self-Indulgence of someone inviting you to a birthday meal.

PollyBell · 09/09/2026 09:54

Can we add 'hormones' and 'expect' 2 of the most overused words on here, expect more in the thread titles though

Tryagain26 · 09/09/2026 09:40

In spme situations being excluded is the correct term to describe what happened.
Why does it bother you,? it's not dramatic it's factual .

gannett · 09/09/2026 09:38

Don't forget being SNUBBED when someone else is in a rush and doesn't have time to chat.

It's funny comparing the two great genres of invite threads on MN. First, the ones wailing about being EXCLUDED and SHUNNED and SNUBBED by a distant in-law they only saw twice a year at family gatherings. Second, the offence taken and pursed mouths about SELF-INDULGENCE when a close friend dares to invite you on a night out for her birthday.

WimpoleHat · 09/09/2026 08:28

i agree. Just because you haven’t been included in something doesn’t automatically mean that you were excluded. People may just have got together to talk about something among themselves, rather than explicitly saying “let’s not ask Sally”. Sometimes you will feel hurt. It to be invited to something, but it is helpful to step back and try and look at it from that perspective most of the time, I think.

LaterSunrise · 09/09/2026 08:26

Agreed. Just as 'people talking to their friends at the school gates' does not equal a 'clique'.

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