AIBU to feel unfairly ostracised after a joke at the sports club?

You do know gay people can have kids, right? You came over as homophobic, I'm not surprised she's avoiding you. The safe guarding thing seems OTT, unless you're in a supervisory role, in which case you might be coaching gay people and it's right to alert the lead about what you said.

As the mother of a gay son it is something that i feel sad about. He was somebody who always wanted kids. I know he can have them but it will either require surrogacy or adoption. Both not very straightforward. You may just have struck a nerve with this person.
However i do think they are over reacting.

Given that safeguarding at the Sports club are involved I suspect there’s more to it.
I’m safeguarding at a club and would have told anyone bringing this exact thing to my attention that it wasn’t anything to do with safeguarding.

The response was also a simple fact.

So many people have turned into pathetically insufferable individuals in recent times. I give them a wide berth and leave them to their dull lives.

I feel like I’m in a parallel universe. Are we pretending it’s not less likely for a male gay couple to have children than a hetero couple? Of course they can adopt or use a surrogate but I think also more male gay couples choose to stay childless than hetero couples. Surely. I don’t think it was a ridiculous thing to say at all. A little outdated perhaps but not ridiculous.

it's a bit odd for someone to rave about how gay their child is - I suspect she is actually not ok with it
Holy projection, batman. I think it's quite normal for a parent to openly state a simple fact. It's not a shameful secret.

People are so woke now
I jolly well hope so.

It’s a case of ‘alright for the parent to say’ but no one else. An ‘unspoken rule’ of parenthood.

A bit like when a parent says their child isn’t good at something (like at sports day a parent said one their child was ‘useless’ at sports) the correct response is ‘ah it’s about that taking part’ or ‘Fred’s great at cello though’ rather than ‘yeah he’s pretty shit isn’t he?’

Not quite the same, but just one of those ‘things.’

You were a bit silly to comment. She’s over-reacted in her response.

Your "if" is doing some heavy lifting as it was in response to the woman saying that he's "as gay as they come". If OP's response to this is "don't expect grandchildren from him anytime soon" it's quite the stretch. Or OP did you genuinely mean this was an innocent comment based on data you have on the average ages of parenthood for heterosexual people compared to homosexual people?

OP didn’t say he won’t have children , just that he won’t have them any time soon. If he’s quite young, that’s a fact.

That was a hurtful, ignorant and poor taste thing to say.

If I were her I'd have simply challenged you on it in the moment so you'd see that it's not a jokey thing to joke about.

I know several lesbian or gay couples who have a child or children so firstly it's not even true these days that a gay stepson wouldn't have any children.

Also knowing straight friends with fertility challenges, any laughing and joking about the likelihood of grandchildren gives me the ick in general.

To you I'd say suck it up buttercup, do the unconscious bias training, and make an apology.

Good to see a sports club push back against homophobia, even if you meant it as a joke, it's not funny and I think you could do with reflecting on why it's escalated rather than asking Mumsnet to back you up and clear your conscience.

Good example
"As neurodivegent as they come" would be highly offensive.
Ditto "as gay ..."

As the mother of a gay son it is something that i feel sad about. He was somebody who always wanted kids. I know he can have them but it will either require surrogacy or adoption. Both not very straightforward. You may just have struck a nerve with this person.
However i do think they are over reacting.

People are so woke now -it was a bit tactless of you and I hope you have apologised - it’s a bit odd for someone to rave about how gay their child is -I suspect she is actually not ok with it thus taking offence at your comment. I would in your shoes decide to stick it out for eg 3months and see how it goes - it will probably be forgotten by then by most people

Some people get offended by everything these days. It’s pathetic

So a few weeks ago, there was what I perceived as a jokey conversation going on and another mum said her stepson was as gay as they come. I jokingly said that she wouldn’t be getting any grandchildren from him any time soon then. To me, i was just joining in on the jokey conversation and that’s all it was. I have now been ostracised and reported to the safeguarding lead officer at the sports club this happened at. People who were my friends have taken her side because she’s made it far more of a thing than it was and my children have even been told things that are far from true. I almost feel that this person is now trying to bully us out of the club. Adult bullying is by far the most horrible situation I’ve ever experienced.