Is this sickening or AIBU

The surviving parent is likely not in their right mind and may have left the 12 year old looking child in charge who of course could be 14 yrs, you don't know.
The children may have inadvertently heard Mum on the phone worried about finances and they will know anyway because there is a bake sale at school to help.

So while Mum is out the children may have taken it on themselves to do this.
Who knows what mess this has left them in financially. Let's have some compassion rather than jumping to the conclusion that this is a bad Mum.

If there is no money in his estate , as is probable , the state will pay for a basic funeral. More information is needed. Is the child’s mother on the scene? Does the mother work ?
In these circumstances most people would start a Go Fund Me to raise the money and not put it on a child’s shoulders.

So sad for this little girl and her siblings, hope she gets the support she needs.

The parents probably don’t know.

I lost my dad as a young kid and believe me you find many ways to cope with such trauma. This is just a coping mechanism IMO. I found my 6yr old self grow up very fast and look out for the adults I had never seen cry before. She is doing what she feels is right instead of watching her world and the people around her crumble. It's definitely not sickening!

I get why the children might feel they need to do this but I am a bit concerned that they are being allowed to do it and especially unsupervised

YABU

I don’t know why people always assume that kids are stupid and don’t know what’s going on around them.

These kids have obviously overheard someone talking about how expensive funerals/life is and these kids have taken it upon themselves to raise money.

They love their friend and want to help them.

I remember doing similar when my dog had to be PTS.
I remember overhearing how expensive the operation would be and so I took it upon myself to raise money by selling things (not realising it would have been hundreds/thousands and that there was ‘no point’ because of his age).

Only if they’re on benefits. If you’re not on benefits and just broke, it’s a Coroners funeral and it’s an horrific experience.
That child need an intervention asap. My DD found her Dad dead and has had horrific mental health problems since, and she was not exploited in any way.

It sounds to me like the girls friends knew of the financial situation and decided to help out and started this. It's wildly inappropriate but no different in their heads to setting up a little shop on the green selling plastic tat from home to afford something they want or to give to charity (often inappropriate too, helping babies in Africa for example). Yes the child should be getting lots of adult support but would that entail locking her up and not letting her see her friends? Maybe she really wanted to hang out with them and this is her regular group. I don't know.. but neither do you OP. I think you are jumping to lots of conclusions without context. There were older kids there, it would be different if she was wandering the streets alone.

So so sad you're not being unreasonable at all.. they sound like feral kids just left to their own devices..
Can't imagine seeing this my heart would break that children shoulder such awful things.
God knows where the adults are in this situation coukd you report it to ss or police.

I kind of wonder if this is a manipulative scheme set up by an older child without adult knowledge - it's obvious there'll be sympathy for the family and getting the 8 year old to exploit that might seem like a morally ok idea to an older child.

It sounds unbelievably awful.
I wonder if it’s their way of distracting the little girl or keeping her mind off things? She’s not going to sell £4K from her stall.

However she doesn’t even need to know the ins and outs of how much a funeral costs and if they can afford it, at that age. Older children may have told her though. Poor kid

I've donated my body to my local university medical school, pending acceptance. A simple process, they keep your body for 3 years, then offer the option of cremation or returning to family for private cremation. A rememberance service is held for families every year in the hospital chapel.

That is so sad and yanbu at all, I would be just as concerned as you

It happens to perfectly nice kids that happen to experiment with drugs that are laced.

It happens in perfectly nice families where someone becomes addicted to opiates due to prescribed medication.

It happens to people who get clean and rebuild their lives that overdose when they relapse.

Addiction does not discriminate on who it touches. Just because it hasn't happened to nice families you know doesn't mean it can't.

When someone dies we often feel the need to do something, hence the many splendid fundraising organisations in the name of a lost loved one. It helps to relieve some of the sense of helplessness.

This sale might be the child's way of dealing with something so truly dreadful that is impossible to process. They feel they are making a positive contribution.

But I absolutely agree they should be properly supervised.

@Pieceofpurplesky "A council won't dispose of a body for free. They look to the nearest relative. You can get help if you are on UC or Pension Credits. I have, sadly, had to look in to it this week."

Sorry to hear you've had to deal with this. The local authority will arrange a free funeral for anyone who dies with no money, assets or savings whether or not they received benefits. It's called a Public Health Funeral. Relatives, even those nearest to the deceased such as a spouse, siblings or adult children are not legally obliged to pay for a funeral in the UK even if they can afford to do so. It is obviously a basic funeral and friends or relatives would have to pay for any extras such as flowers, orders of service etc if they wished to do so.

I put Yabu because you’re under the impression that because she’s a child we can pretend this hasn’t impacted her, mainly because it’s upsetting YOU.

As someone who lost a parent young, that’s not how it works. She’s in the thick of it, inconvenient though that might be to your sensibilities.

Does the OP actually know it was a drug overdose? The school wouldn’t have disclosed that so I assume that’s gossip.

I’m not sure why the OP hung around for 40 minutes, I would have bought something and had a chat with the kids to see what they say.

One thought it that they knew the school was fundraising and wanted to continue that so it was something to keep them occupied and their mind off the grief?

The OP should report if she feels it’s needed. I’d speak to the safeguarding lead at school and call the local SS team.

They only take specific bodies, like those who have certain illnesses that need to be researched, and has to be agreed well in advance. They dont just take anyone willy-nilly.
I learned this in a documentary a few years back

It is disgusting. When there were some family deaths locally (not being specific as it was all over the news and would be identifiable) the mum sold some of the kids' stuff to buy herself designer clothes. Clearly she'd needed help for a long time, but there's a lot of kids growing up in situations like this. Before benefits came in, my gg grandparents sometimes went without food so their kids ate, and even in extreme poverty as we'd call it today, the kids were better off.
Are SS aware? I'm not saying it's a panacea, but do report if you are concerned.

By all means speak to school safegiluarding lead with your concerns. Clearly the school knows the family and their needs. You could offer to sit with the kids by their stall to supervise and protect them? The kids are processing their situation in some way.

The poor, poor child.

I wouldn't assume that an adult has given her this responsibility.

When I was a student I found my neighbours children (aged 6-8) standing stark naked on the corner of our road with a collection hat on front of them. It transpired that they had heard their Mum upset about the food bill and having seen images of 'starving children in Africa' images as fundraisers had decided it was the best way to solve the problem.

But whatever ...this poor child should, of course, not be selling possessions to pay for a funeral, and I hope you have alerted the school.

To the point of death from drug overdose? I think it’s very rare to happen in other wise unproblematic family

That is horrendous. The little girl is either being exploited or she is sad or worried enough to want to do this off her own back. The other explanation (not pleasant to say but could be true) is that she is enjoying the attention and wants to do it, possibly without an adult knowing. Any of these options however do not paint a picture of a good family set up or a well rounded child who is being supported. As you say, she should be at home being cared for and if the family need money then it’s up to them to create fundraisers.

Even if the child had said ‘I want to sell my things to pay for daddy’s funeral’ a responsible adult would tell them it’s not their job to do that, not let them out on the street unsupervised like this. Sounds very upsetting.