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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to allow teen DD to swear at home?

113 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/09/2026 21:23

My mother is appalled by this. It came about when DD4 (15) came home in a mood about something at school, I was on the phone with my mother and sister. She said "Mr X said we cant use Y room at lunch any more for health and safety, which is bullshit, he just can't be arsed being in there".

I made sympathetic noises, she went up to her room.

Mother is disgusted that I "allow" this. DD has no younger siblings, and all her older siblings were allowed the same as long as they didnt do it in front of their not-at-senior-school younger sibs.

I just think that they are all swearing like dockers at school so what is the point in pretending they dont? I swear a lot, especially when driving, so it would be very hypocritical of me to censor her. Obviously, she knows where and when it s appropriate and never swears in front of her Grandma.

OP posts:
hotmumshit · 08/09/2026 23:05

I'm a fan of swearing and dont want my dd to be scandaliséd by swear words tbh

Minasama · 08/09/2026 23:04

The important thing is that she understands when it is appropriate to swear and when not, and only you can teach her this.
That’s one of the differences between being well brought up and badly brought up.

She doesn’t know this yet or she wouldn’t have sworn in front of your mother.

We take an indulgent view of some swearing (not the harder stuff, but a word like bullshit we wouldn’t mind) but we are very clear that while it’s ok with friends, we don’t want to hear s, f or c and any swearing is definitely inappropriate in front of other adults and Grandma & Granddad. That’s a hard line for us as my parents would be really disturbed by it.

Even younger people judge. I was really taken aback (though I laughed) when one of my daughter’s friends aged about 12 told me she “can’t be arsed” to do something. It’s not the language I’d expect from a child in my dining room and I thought what a shame her parents had never taught her any better.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 08/09/2026 22:59

MCF86 · 08/09/2026 22:50

Swearing at me would be an issue, but in front of me whatever.

Swearing at people is not ok, but swearing in a general sense is fine.

OP posts:
Timeforachange26 · 08/09/2026 22:56

Lanternss · 08/09/2026 22:21

Personally I think kids of any age swearing in front of their parents and especially grandparents is very disrespectful and chavtastic.

My eldest was fond of swearing as a teen. We had a rule of no swearing in front of Grandma or her young cousins.

If she felt the need she could swear as much as she liked in from of her uncles, who could probably teach her a few more words . My brothers however never swore in front of my mum.

Lesina · 08/09/2026 22:56

Shakespeare was awash with swear words. Long may it continue

StarDolphins · 08/09/2026 22:54

I don’t mind this. I would if DD told me to fuck off but if she stubs her toe, I don’t “
mind a “shit that was painful!”. I don’t really swear at home but in the car I’m a potty mouth.

BibbityBoppityTwo · 08/09/2026 22:52

MCF86 · 08/09/2026 22:50

Swearing at me would be an issue, but in front of me whatever.

This is how we view it too. If it’s an occasional swear word in context, in the same way we would use it, we let it slide. Swearing at people or gratuitous swearing for the sake of it, not on.

Melarus · 08/09/2026 22:50

Once the youngest DC was old enough, we lifted the ban on swearing. But, like you, not around grandparents or kids and not AT another family member - ie not used aggressively. I think it's a generational thing with GPs objecting.

It's a relief to me, as well, to be able to say "fucksake" once in awhile when things go wrong!

MCF86 · 08/09/2026 22:50

Swearing at me would be an issue, but in front of me whatever.

Lanternss · 08/09/2026 22:21

Personally I think kids of any age swearing in front of their parents and especially grandparents is very disrespectful and chavtastic.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 08/09/2026 22:02

Irony being that Mother swears a lot when she feels like it!

OP posts:
Nimblethimble · 08/09/2026 21:49

Fuck no.

(Only kidding, we are all swearers too.)

Mischance · 08/09/2026 21:30

Oh for goodness' sake - it is none of your Mum's business.

My 14 year old GS just said something much worse - but it was appropriate to what he was saying and was in a family setting - he knows when and where it is OK. He is a sensible young adult.

If she thinks what your DD said is awful then she is off beam.

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