AIBU to allow teen DD to swear at home?

But it's describing BEHAVIOUR. What's wrong with that

Did you never swear at her age? I do remember not saying swear words in front of my parents until I was doing A' Levels, not sure bullshit was counted as a swear word by me then though! I did say "bloody" a bloody lot... I mentally ranked them in order of shock factor, sht was least rude, fck was prob worst. I don't think I have ever used the C word that seems so popular now. Teen dd prided herself on that she didn't swear, until she got to 13 and really hormonal and she screamed FCCCKK ! when she dropped something and stubbed her toe at the same time. I actually laughed because it was so odd to hear!
Your mum needs to get out a bit more. She might have something if the kid is constantly swearing in every sentence but not for , essentially, dramatic effect.

We're one of the families relaxed about swearing but this was a conscious decision based upon the reverse psychology theory. My parents were very strict about it which meant my brother and I were quite excited to start swearing around friends and thought it made us cool. Obviously we were actually ridiculous but we live and we learn.

Our daughters have been brought up to understand that there's a time and a place and you need to judge your audience. As it's not verboten they don't feel the need to rebel and in fact my eldest often complains about a friend of hers who swears ALL THE TIME. This teenager is strictly NOT allowed to swear at home and as a result as soon as she's out of her parents' hearing every other word is 'fuck'. It's the same with make up and certain clothes which she's not allowed to wear, so she goes out of her house and as soon as she's around the corner pulls it all out of her bag, loads on the slap and puts on the ridiculous and inappropriate clothes. Do people honestly still think that telling older kids/teenagers not to do something means they won't do it?

I'm not saying I get everything right as a parent but I know the authoritarian attitude was not only ineffective but indeed counterproductive with me and some of my friends so my husband and I have made a point of being more relaxed and trying to communicate and explain rather than dictate and we're getting much better results.

You have made me laugh.

Really how society has devolved so that parents do not have a modicum of decorum and shirk their basic parental duties.

you must have a really charming child. I think young Pol Pot was a product of laxidasical parenting.

If you let swearing go, then what about stealing, if he feels that you are lax, he will think nothing of armed robbery. Then migrate to drug dealing, murder and then devolve to acts of genocide.

spare the rod and spoil the child.

We’re a swearing household. DH family, it’s like the Gallagher brothers, especially his mother!

Well that was an obvious response, but I do know.

Its been offensive for at least two decades

@PissTakePeg Is “stooshie” in the dictionary, or did you make that word up on the spot?

My teenagers have been raised in older childhood to filter when swearing is appropriate/ tolerable and when it is off-limits.

DS recently bellowed a swear word which was entirely appropriate, and I was too busy braking and swerving from the car inches away from T-boning towards him to berate him. I was too busy reacting to have the verbal energy to swear.

They don't swear in the classroom. If they do on the playground is their own concern. I don't mind some degree of expressive swearing. Swearing at people or being aggressive is not acceptable.

I was more relaxed about swearing from y6. From personal experience, turning up at a secondary school in y7 being prissy about swear words causes a hell of a lot more bother than it saves. I quickly learned to upgrade my vocabulary for a more peaceful life.

Her friends at school do swear, she doesn’t

As far as you know.

I really don't get the angst over swearing. They're just words. They're in the dictionary, right there beside all the other words. Not in a section at the back entitled "Do Not Use". The more they're used, the less people will get in a stooshie about it.

Absofuckinglutely

I will enjoy my new name, Pollyanna 😇

I knew my kids swore at school. They know they aren't allowed to swear at home. They still follow my rules even though they are adult now (except occasionally when gaming in a room with a closed door - I suspect they think I don't hear them). It's a very good skill to have - being able to not swear when required. Otherwise it becomes automatic and can make things difficult in some situations.

We as family do not swear so it would be a serious problem if 15 year old DGD swore at home or here.

Her friends at school do swear, she doesn’t. We are all different.

Our kids code switch. We sometimes have to remind them that we're their parents and therefore words need hard endings, grammar should be correct and expletives need filtering. Thel code switch much better around grand parents and other adults that they've not heard swear.

I think this is a really family specific thing. Given you say, you do it in the car often and your mum does it, I feel like it's not an issue.

We don't swear at home, or outside. My parents don't swear and I've also never heard my ILs swear. In keeping with this, I wouldn't want DC to swear although i appreciate things will be different come school age and they will have to respect the no swearing rule even then.

My Dc never swore in front of adults and we never swore in front of them. We’re now all adults so a little bit of swearing takes place. However, we rarely swear in anger about someone as such. That’s just the way we were!
My eldest DGC might occasionally shout ‘oh God’ when he’s annoyed on his PS, which is a sign that he’s been on it long enough. If an inanimate object annoys you so much that you swear at it, you’ve lost control of your emotions.
I actually cannot abide it if a driver swears when they’re driving because it’s a sign that they’re not fully in control of the vehicle.

Not sure why you say 'lately' - there has been criticism of use of the word for many years.

I wouldn’t allow it in my house but she’s not my child and as far as I’m concerned you can parent any way you want, it’s not your mums business!

One of my brothers worked in a bus depot doing repairs and stuff. There were definitely plenty of swear words used there

Why is the word chav considered so offensive lately??