To think less of those who slept with a lot of people

But why would you be splitting up with someone 28 times at the 6 month mark. Something would be amiss!

I don’t actually care how many people someone slept with

You do, though. You’re dressing it up as ‘I just don’t think people should tell you’ but then you go on to say other things that reveal you actually just think having sex with lots of people is gross.

I don’t think boasting about anything is attractive. So if someone was boasting about their sexual history in the same way they’d boast about their car or their salary, I’d think they were a twat - but no more so than if they were boasting about their car or their salary or their house.

If sexual history came up in the conversation and they mentioned in passing, as a relevant aside, that they’d slept with a hundred people, that wouldn’t make me think less of them at all. If they spoke about those partners in a derogatory way, I’d think less of them. But not for sleeping with lots of people. I’m totally fine with people having whatever kind of consensual sex they want, provided they’re open about their intentions. It’s just sex. Whatever works for them is fine.

Anything over 50 is gruesome

I also think there is a lot of virtue signalling on here. Trying to look all 'cool girl', but would actually judge in certain circumstances.

People saying 'oh I think it's great' etc.

But if it was their daughter they would be horrified.

And if it was an ex's new girlfriend they would be freely calling them a slag etc and being delighted the ex had made such a horrendous choice of partner

And would run a mile from a man who had slept with 200 people and been dogging etc

I do judge.
For men I think they are grim.
For women I think it'sa sign something is wrong, low self esteem, need to be loved, wanting approval from men as father left etc.

But I generally wouldn't ask, and don't want to know

You know the time it takes to have sex with someone and get a degree, for example, are wildly different? This is very confusing.

I wouldn't be "squeamish about diseases" just because someone has had sex with a lot of people.

I have a couple of friends who are open about enjoying casual sex (although I've no idea of their "number") and they're both big advocates for protection and testing. I'm sure there are plenty of people who've only had sex with a few people - or even just one - who don't even consider taking precautions.

Plus, unless I'm going to sleep with someone, their potential STIs have absolutely no impact on me.

So, how many people is too many?!

I think we are still too close to the times when sexually transmitted diseases were killers (less than 80 years for antibiotic controls, less than 50 years for HIV, less than 20 years for HPV, actually still ongoing for the unvaccinated) for everyone to be completely unconcerned about large numbers of sexual partners.

It's easy these days to lose sight of the fact that chastity in both men and women, (though outside religion largely only applied to women), was a matter of public health and life and death.

I don't know how much time you think sex takes. If someone started having sex at 18, and had slept with 100 people by age 28, that would be 10 a year - less than one a month. I'm sure nearly everyone spends at least 1 night a month doing something that doesn't contribute to their career, "excelling at a hobby", etc.

If you lost your virginity at 16 and from then on dated roughly one person every 6 months until you found your husband at 30, you’ve slept with almost 30 people - it can easily add up!

i actually have no idea how many people my friends/family members/colleagues/acquaintances have slept with and have zero interest in knowing!

It just seems somewhat unlikely we would share any interests as presumably if someone sleeps with that many people they must go out a lot, probably clubbing etc which isn't me at all.

Hahaha this is hilarious, how long do you think it takes so shag someone? Or are you someone who refers to it as making love 😂. If someone goes out, meets someone, has sex, that’s very common and easily done. So it’s surely easy to understand that until someone settles down and has babies etc, it’s perfectly feasible to sleep with dozens of people.
Also I don’t really care, I wouldn’t ask someone what their number was and I can’t imagine many people volunteer that information?

Well you clearly do care if you judge people for it. You can only say don’t care if you genuinely don’t care and it doesn’t influence anything.

Re upstanding members of society - do you think theatre actors, Hollywood actors and Olympic athletes are upstanding members of society?

Providing people are not cheating on me or anyone I care about, not damaging their families and not spreading disease I couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss about other peoples sexual behaviour.

Sex is different for everyone. What works for me doesn’t work for others.

I would no more judge someone for their sexual preferences than I would for their taste in clothes or food.

Yes you are being unreasonable. Your worth, integrity, value and character have absolutely nothing to do with the number of people you’ve had sex with. I do think less of people who think badly of a person because of the number of people they’ve had sex with, because they have shown themselves to be a stupid twat, however.

I didn't keep count, but definitely slept with far more people than I should have in my teens/early twenties. I wouldn't say I ever saw it as a badge of honour though, I usually felt horrible after.
I'm a different person now, I learned to like myself and realised I'm worth more than letting myself be used. People I've met in more recent years would be quite surprised I think!
So while so can understand a raised eyebrow, I wouldn't judge a person on anything other than the way they act at the time I know them.

You’d hate me then, I’m a total slapper.

You say you don't judge but if that was genuinely true you would feel neutral about such disclosures. The fact it produces such a strong reaction in you shows you do care.

Speaking as someone who has probably slept with more people than you'd like and is therefore in no position to judge, I have no real reaction to someone's number, except to perhaps be interested to understand their journey through life a bit better.

At least own it!

Was thinking the same.

I wouldn’t personally but I know some people care about that sort of thing.

Men don't give a shit about bragging so why should women?

..and even if you are, why do you?

The late great Tony Slattery once deflected a question about his sexuality with the reply "I don't ask you what you do with your genitalia, and I'm not going to tell you what I do with mine."

Probably as well to stuck to that if you don't want to be judged by self-righteous arseholes.

Personally, as long as all the encounters were consensual and enjoyable for both parties, I don't give a damn.