To ask if my boyfriend doing this last night is ‘normal’?

I've been married almost 30 years and neither of us would be that disrespectful. Gigantic red flag.

Also think how much effort women put into appearing attractive to men. At four months in I bet you’re still hiding the fact you even shit at all from him. The fact he cares so little for your good opinion/attraction is such a red flag. Aren’t you now repelled by him?

It doesn’t need to be a power play like ppl are saying. It’s just a deal breaker for so many reasons no matter what his motivation.

There are people who have a kink for this.
I won't go into the details but Oliva Attwood covers it in one of her programmes. Absolutely disgusting.

If you need to help a very ill spouse on and off the toilet, you do it out of love. Both my DH and I have had to provide intimate care to each other and we did it because the other had put in years of respect and we'd do anything for each other.

A man that defacates in front of a lady is a proverbial 'arsewipe'.
Dump.

Okay not ideal, do you have another toilet that could have been used, sometimes it’s not possible to hold on.
had you been in the bath ages.. personally I think it odd you were in the bath when he was over, after dating for only 4 months. Perhaps, it says youre comfortable with him and he thought pooing acceptable because he’s comfortable with you.

It depends on his upbringing and what he has been lead to believe is acceptable, as long as you state your boundaries and he respects them then going forward all should be fine!

That is really disgusting. Totally unacceptable to poo in front of you. Or anyone.

Four months? Obviously obviously obviously just break up with him. I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t.

That's degrading. He wanted to see your reaction crossing a boundary. The fact he brought you up a glass of wine just to take a literal shit on your relaxation time is beyond disrespectful.

Nobody wants to smell shit while taking a bath, it's common knowledge. So people saying he probably just 'needed' to go is nuts.

Don't let him move in with you, like ever.

I'm sure someone will have said this but I would bet my house on it being a power and control play. Testing what you will put up with and whether you will be easily manipulated in the future. My experience of this type of thing was when the man used similar events early on and then to eventually be extremely abusive and controlling.
Please think hard about whether to continue with this relationship. It's a dynamic that you will be glad to avoid in the long run.

Absolutely this

I was with a guy briefly in the 90s. After our first night together, I went for a wee. Door wasn’t locked and he burst in. When I objected he said that we’d already been intimate so what did I have to hide?
He lasted 4 more days. Ick.

I don't know that I agree that's it's definitely a power play. He might just feel comfortable with that but the key thing is that he doesn't do it again now that you've made it clear that you're absolutely not.

You shouldn’t have to lock a door to make sure your partner doesn’t poo whilst you’re in the bath! That’s not a thing!

I do know of this too. My sister had a friend (as an 18 year old) whose family would have one in the bath, one having a poo, another walking around the house naked (and it happened while she was visiting, seeing the naked dad). I know that in the 80's we often only had one bathroom, but can't help but wonder if this is done on purpose.

Op come back and update us please

Been with my hubby 22 years. He’s never done a poo in my presence, and vice versa. This would give me the ick!

I don’t do this but know couples who wouldn’t bat an eyelid! I know a family where when adult siblings (different genders) lived together in uni holidays/newly graduated they’d just pull the shower curtain across and then chat while one was pooing and the other was in the bath!

Sure, I’m not defending the man doing this as I made clear already.

For context U’ve been with DH for just over 10 years now. We are extremely close, talk openly about everything BUT neither of us would ever dream of doing this.

In your situation I’d genuinely dump him. The fact that he did it and then laughed? Awful.

Given there were other options, this was deliberate. I would dump him.

Ooh I remember that one!

Snap I've also been with hubbi 30 years if he did this instant divorce that's a lack of respect ! (unless it was a genuine case of the squits )
And it's disgusting what an absolute pig !
Dump this one !
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

This is even worse in that you have 3 loos and he chose to come into the bathroom you were relaxing in.... that screams run like hell to me .. that behaviour is absolutely toxic.. get rid ASAP....this shows something much darker in his mindset the absolute loser id of kicked him out of my house as soon as i had got dressed and out of the bath .. he has zero respect for you girl .

It's quite simple really. If you have other toilets available in your home, and he chose to use the one next to your bath to have a poo, he has a hidden agenda. And I don't know what that is because I'm not a psychiartrist. But you have only known the bloke for 4 months. Come on! I have no issue having a rushed wee in front of my husband but we have never ever pooed in front of each other.

🤮that’s disgusting! If he had knocked and asked if you minded him ‘going’ while you were in the bath is one thing, but to assume it’s ok then laugh when you pull him up on it is a reason to be rid of him.

ETA DH & I have been married for over 30years and wouldn’t do this.