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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

304 replies

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 15:31

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

OP posts:
DisappearingGirl · 08/09/2026 22:00

Ah that's a nice update OP. I do have a little bit of sympathy for her worrying as I also hate driving in torrential rain.

Though an EastEnders style slanging match would have been more entertaining for the thread :)

Hoork · 08/09/2026 21:56

Wow how weird. Maybe there’s some history between those two girls that you don’t know about? (still obviously not your fault)

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 21:55

Oh and for people asking, Tuesday is their short day. They have a long day on Wednesday to make up for it and finish at 4.30pm. Every other day they finish at 3.30pm. It’s the way it’s always been at this school

OP posts:
DinonneS · 08/09/2026 21:53

Right so neighbour has been over. It’s a bit of an anti climax but I’m glad we have sorted it now as I was genuinely confused I was missing some kind of unwritten parenting rule.

Neighbours dd battery died in school so when she was later than expected (neighbour was listening out for the ring doorbell alert), she had tried to call her dd and it went straight to voicemail. She said as the weather was so bad (driving conditions were pretty terrible tbh) she had a bit of a panic and was thinking that we’d had an accident or something and thought the worst. I did say to her that she has my number so she could’ve called me. She also has my DD’s number. I have my phone set up to the car hands free. She said she’d been having a rough week and ‘lost her shit’ for a moment and just panicked.

Neighbour was apologetic and said she was very grateful that’s I’d saved her dd a wet walk home and that she was glad I dropped the other girl off too. Think she just jumped the gun out of panic and realised that after calming down. As she left she she said it wasn’t her finest moment and that she hoped there were no hard feelings. She will also be picking dd up for me on Friday as it’s forecast to be another windy, rainy day.

As I said, I don’t really know her well socially but we have been neighbours for a long time and out DD’s get on well so I didn’t want any bad blood. I’m going to chalk this down to her having a bad week and waking up on the wrong side of the bed and put it behind us.

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 08/09/2026 21:43

Batshit.

seahorsessky · 08/09/2026 21:37

scalt · 08/09/2026 17:45

There have been lots of threads like the ones in my list on MN, where the question was asked totally seriously. “Friend’s mum gave my DD a lift - was she DBS checked?”

Probably that'll soon be the norm, not even joking. When I was at school, there was a ruckus about a teacher giving a student a lift, and a lot of the grandparents said it was a fuss about nothing (this was after the Sting song!), but you would never get a teacher doing that today!

DestituteDesperate · 08/09/2026 21:25

OP you’re truly kind and wonderful. You did nothing wrong and in future, if this is the thanks you get, don’t bother with the neighbours DD.

scalt · 08/09/2026 21:19

amber763 · 08/09/2026 17:56

Lol what? Those are mental! Especially what if the pps husband saw her on the dash cam! Who thinks like this?

Who thinks like this? Lots of Mumsnetters. There have been many, many threads of this sort, where the question was asked totally seriously.

“AIBU to be fewmin’ that DD was shown Jaws at a friends house?”

”AIBU to never let my DD go to a sleepover, because I don’t know anything about the host’s DH? He could be a pervert, better safe than sorry.”

ifonlytheydlisten · 08/09/2026 21:15

She’s bonkers

wigywhoo · 08/09/2026 21:13

you are not being Unreasonable! She’s bonkers!

side issue, but I’m shocked how early school finishes! DS finishes at 3:45!

Dweetfidilove · 08/09/2026 21:13

I'd be so eager to hear what she thinks we'll be chatting about; I'd probably wait for her at the gate 🙄.

Friendlygingercat · 08/09/2026 21:04

She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home.

I have always held that the only good neighbour is a dead one.

daisyydaisyy · 08/09/2026 21:02

Can’t wait to see what this woman has said about it! You did something nice, she sounds mental.

HB1625 · 08/09/2026 21:01

Do let us know what this batshit woman finds to complain about when you hear back from her!

Goditsmemargaret · 08/09/2026 20:59

It's such a weird response that I'd assume something unexpected is going to be revealed later - I can't think what but something.

I wouldn't keep my evening free though just send a message saying "hi, I won't actually be able to chat but feel free to send me a voice note and let me know what the issue is please."

Gonners · 08/09/2026 20:53

I wonder if you'll even hear from her, OP? A 2 minute conversation with her daughter might well have discouraged her. If not, then (because I am evil) I might mention it to her next time you cross paths.

hotmumshit · 08/09/2026 20:50

She was probably having a manic half an hour, keep us updated x

SquirrelGG · 08/09/2026 20:48

annonymousse · 08/09/2026 15:35

I'd be telling her the words she searching for are "thank you" and in future I will leave her daughter to walk and get soaked. Like they say no good deed goes unpunished.

As often the first response nails it.

Your neighbour is deranged.

cheeseomelette · 08/09/2026 20:38

This is deranged.

ForEdgyHare · 08/09/2026 20:29

I voted the wrong one!!!
OP your neighbour is being ridiculous!
After you have done her favour too! Some people. Anyway sorry again. I voted YBU but I actually meant to press YANU

3luckystars · 08/09/2026 20:22

Ok well why is this the OPs problem? She offered a lift to a child in the rain and beggars can’t be choosers about other passengers.

Busses, lifts and even flights get delayed all the time. Is everyone this anxious now?

if she was so worried why didn’t she text her DAUGHTER and why does she want to have words with someone who gave her child a lift home in a dry car. She sounds like an absolute head case.

Kensingtonbuns · 08/09/2026 20:13

Maybe the DD was meant to be home for activity/music lesson at 3.

I just wouldn't take her again.

1coconut2coconut3coconut4 · 08/09/2026 20:12

I would just say - oh sorry youre upset, I couldn't leave a kid out in the rain, if you dont want me to take DD next time then no problem.

If she argues further just make an excuse and leave.

KLD89 · 08/09/2026 20:12

Yikes! “How dare you pick up and drop off another 15yr old child, so they didn’t get drowned in the torrential rain. Only my daughter should have been in your car, nobody else”

Is she a helicopter mom? Or, is she just one of those who thinks she’s more entitled than anybody else to things.
I hope you don’t/didn’t let her go in on you.
Tell her not to be so ungrateful and let her know clearly you won’t offer a hand ever again.

Bottom line - Your car, you decide who gets in it.
You asked her permission (like you should) and she gave it. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Rubyupbeat · 08/09/2026 20:05

Please let us know what her 'reasoning ' is.

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