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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

304 replies

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 15:31

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

OP posts:
Jo7890123 · 09/09/2026 18:30

MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 15:42

........... her daughter is 15 years old, she could have called her if she was that worried over the 15 minutes, Lordy some people

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Yes, I'd include this in the 'chat' - that if its really important to her to know to the minute when her DD will be back, she should make it clear to her DD that she's to keep her informed of any delay (traffic, last minute hunting for books she needs to bring home that night...many things beside your route home could affect her timing on other nights..). Clearly you were busy driving her, so at 15 its v much for the DD and mother to agree on how mych comms is expected.

And for the issue of having another child in the car - you can have whoever you wish in your car, she needs to pay a chauffeur to pick up her child if she wants that level of control 😄

CustardySergeant · 09/09/2026 18:21

Foodwench66 · 09/09/2026 18:18

I'd tell her, No we aren't chatting about it later. I did you a favor. That's it. I'd refuse to discuss it. Also it was torrential rain, it could have taken longer for that reason alone.

The woman has been over and apologised.

Foodwench66 · 09/09/2026 18:18

I'd tell her, No we aren't chatting about it later. I did you a favor. That's it. I'd refuse to discuss it. Also it was torrential rain, it could have taken longer for that reason alone.

Cadeaukatze · 09/09/2026 18:15

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

Well that's a bit of an overreaction. Driving your kids everywhere so they're obese is rather more abusive, I'd say.

RampantIvy · 09/09/2026 18:14

ThePurpleShark · 08/09/2026 17:08

there's always one 🙄

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I suspect some posters don't get the type of sideways torrential rain that some of us do. I also suspect that the pupils weren't appropriately dressed for the weather.

Tuesdayschild50 · 09/09/2026 17:59

I tell her to never speak to me like that again....

IsThisJustLifeInTheSouth · 09/09/2026 17:59

DustyMaiden · 08/09/2026 15:44

She’s probably anxious and wondering where you’d got to driving in bad weather.

but even if this is the case, it’s still exceptionally rude to get cross with the OP and threaten words later!! Bat shit behaviour!

Bunny65 · 09/09/2026 17:56

She might have been worried for five minutes although it wasn't much of a stretch for to maybe imagine you were delayed by bad weather or that you might be giving someone else a lift as well. However, once her DD got home, and not that much later anyway, you would think she would have been reassured enough not to send a silly message. Obviously once of those people who don't engage their brain before rushing in, but it's good that she's apologised. This is also another downside of mobile phones, that you immediately think the worst if you can't get through.

MsWicked · 09/09/2026 16:50

Sounds like a nutter. She wasn’t even picking up her own daughter, you were about 14 mins off schedule (?), tell her not to be daft.

EverytimeItPours · 09/09/2026 16:46

Eightfor15 · 09/09/2026 16:36

At least in British schools you know your child is likely to not get shot dead. I'd rather they got soaked than murdered, but each to their own.

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Good point!!

Eightfor15 · 09/09/2026 16:36

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

At least in British schools you know your child is likely to not get shot dead. I'd rather they got soaked than murdered, but each to their own.

Banjas · 09/09/2026 15:53

annonymousse · 08/09/2026 15:35

I'd be telling her the words she searching for are "thank you" and in future I will leave her daughter to walk and get soaked. Like they say no good deed goes unpunished.

👏🏻

Knickerstoya · 09/09/2026 14:06

bananaobama · 09/09/2026 13:32

If she was THAT worried, why didnt she call her daughter? Presumably she has a phone!

You didn’t read the thread, did you?

bananaobama · 09/09/2026 13:32

If she was THAT worried, why didnt she call her daughter? Presumably she has a phone!

bananaobama · 09/09/2026 13:31

UN

HINGED

CruCru · 09/09/2026 13:21

CustardySergeant · 09/09/2026 12:57

Unbelievable.

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I think this person was joking

CustardySergeant · 09/09/2026 12:57

Cherrytree86 · 09/09/2026 11:00

she will have been worried sick, OP! Maybe take round some flowers to her as way of apology and be clear that it won’t happen again.

Unbelievable.

keepsmiling20 · 09/09/2026 12:49

I could understand a teeny bit if the reason behind her outrage was that they needed to head out as soon as they got home for a doctors/dentist appointment and this made them late. However, she was very OTT and that would be the last time I did any favours for them going forward as no way would I want to deal with her tantrums in future.

You did nothing wrong and thank you for looking out for your daughters friends

CousinBette · 09/09/2026 12:13

PressTheSwitch · 08/09/2026 15:40

Could there be history between these two girls?

So what

JustMeHello · 09/09/2026 12:12

Maybe she's recently watched the season finale of Rivals and panicked!

AlohaRose · 09/09/2026 11:59

Cherrytree86 · 09/09/2026 11:00

she will have been worried sick, OP! Maybe take round some flowers to her as way of apology and be clear that it won’t happen again.

Seriously? A 15-year old was 15 mins late home from school and the parent's immediate reaction is to assume disaster. Surely she doesn't arrive home at exactly the same time every day - what happens if she stops to chat to friends, goes back to pick up a forgotten bag/book, buys a snack on the way home? If the daughter knows that her mother is going to immediately assume the worst because of a delay, then she needs to make sure she always gets in contact. Presumably she could have used her friend's phone/OP's phone to text her mother from the car?

Freeyourmind · 09/09/2026 11:44

I think this highlights the lunacy of the life we are living now with mobile phones, life 360 etc. Her daughter was literally 15 minutes later than expected and she has you all in a car crash etc etc. Defcon 1 straight away - simply for 15 minutes. Things happen, people get delayed, it's not always a life changing event and there's no excuse for her to let her own anxiety turn to rudeness. Life was far more simple for everyone before we were able to track people to the nth degree. Don't get me wrong, there are some terrible things that happen in the world, but they are the exception not the rule.

Cherrytree86 · 09/09/2026 11:00

she will have been worried sick, OP! Maybe take round some flowers to her as way of apology and be clear that it won’t happen again.

HambleTheDoll · 09/09/2026 10:50

I love a normal happy ending. Not everything is drama. I’m glad it’s all sorted.

Kadiofakit · 09/09/2026 10:48

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 15:37

Did you or the girl let the mum know she would be later home?

Did you miss that she is 15!!

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