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AIBU?

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WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

304 replies

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 15:31

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

OP posts:
MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 16:11

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 16:06

Yes my mother definitely would.

you said she would be home at x time. I was expecting her.

and she would have been up to high doh.

Did the OP say she would be home at x time though? Her OP said she offered her a lift home from school that's it. Looks like her daughter is going to be getting wet a lot over the winter time...... as others have said No good deed goes unpunished

NeededANameChangeAnyway · 08/09/2026 16:09

I can't think of a single thing wrong with what you did. If the neighbour is at work til 7 anyway what's the problem??

Ilovelifeverymuch · 08/09/2026 16:07

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 15:31

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

WTF? There are some batshit crazy people out there 😂

You have done absolutely nothing wrong, stand your ground and obviously let her know you will never give her daughter a lift even if there an earthquake lol.

It's not like you were coming random dangerous men on the street, it was another student and your DDs friend.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 08/09/2026 16:07

Your neighbour is fucking insane.

To be honest, when they're 15 I'm amazed you even messaged a parent at all. They're 15! They can decide for themselves if they want a lift from someone they know. Most 15-year-olds just get on with it without needing their mums to talk about any of this stuff.

Crunchymum · 08/09/2026 16:07

Yeah I cannot think of a way to rationalise this.

As others say what if the OP got caught in traffic or popped off to grab some shopping?

How and why did the neighbour even know her DD was 'so late'? Is she tracking her?

For the sake of neighbourly relations I wouldn't be too rude but I would certainly make it clear there will be no more lifts "to avoid situations like this going forwards"

Imaginingdragonsagain · 08/09/2026 16:07

YANBU, your neighbour is an idiot.

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 16:06

MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 16:01

But would your mother have dared take issue with another mother who was doing her daughter a favour? You can be anxious but know you're being unreasonable too and just keep your mouth shut. She's incredibly rude and ungrateful

Yes my mother definitely would.

you said she would be home at x time. I was expecting her.

and she would have been up to high doh.

MyOliveStork · 08/09/2026 16:05

Peonies12 · 08/09/2026 16:04

Shes 15, she could be a parent herself.

As my Mum always quotes at me, ‘at 15 I was working full time’.

nomas · 08/09/2026 16:05

No good deed goes unpunished.

Tell neighbour that if she didn't want another child to be picked up then she should have mentioned that.

It's not like you picked up a strange man.

MyOliveStork · 08/09/2026 16:05

Do not think you have done anything wrong here, AT ALL. You did what any other nice mum would have done. Your neighbour is very odd and very rude. If she is this worried about her daughter, I would suggest to her that probably best you don’t offer her any help in the future ‘just in case’ you offend her.
At 15 years old, this is WAY over the top behaviour from your neighbour!!!!

Peonies12 · 08/09/2026 16:04

Shes 15, she could be a parent herself.

NolanChanceJustLikeTheWeatherNSoul · 08/09/2026 16:03

"we will be talking about this later"
Nope ..fuck off and don't bother contacting my number again.

Newyearawaits · 08/09/2026 16:03

How thoughtful of you OP.
You have done absolutely nothing wrong.

lazyarse123 · 08/09/2026 16:01

How did she know the girl was late because you gave someone else a lift? Has her daughter somehow complained to her mum? Weird whatever the reason.

MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 16:01

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 15:58

I know that. But my mum would’ve been beside herself. Even if I was 15. So all I’m asking is - is there a “rule” that the girl is supposed to let her mum know she’s home perhaps? Or was the mum checking for her getting home

But would your mother have dared take issue with another mother who was doing her daughter a favour? You can be anxious but know you're being unreasonable too and just keep your mouth shut. She's incredibly rude and ungrateful

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 15:58

MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 15:57

Yeah but her kid is 15 years old, she isn't an actual child, bit weird that she didn't give a bit of grace to account for traffic/OP having a chat with someone at the school gates/one of the daughters running late coming out of school etc etc etc

I know that. But my mum would’ve been beside herself. Even if I was 15. So all I’m asking is - is there a “rule” that the girl is supposed to let her mum know she’s home perhaps? Or was the mum checking for her getting home

AnxiousAnnieB · 08/09/2026 15:58

absolutely batshit behaviour.

Pootles34 · 08/09/2026 15:57

I wonder if there's some issue with her daughter and this other girl - maybe she's been bullying her? It's the only thing I can think of. Well you'll find out soon enough by the sounds of it!

MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 15:57

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 15:53

It is ridiculous but my mum was incredibly anxious back in the day and I’m just wondering if the normal for then is that the daughter let’s her know she’s home. Or if she was checking a ring doorbell or something.

Yeah but her kid is 15 years old, she isn't an actual child, bit weird that she didn't give a bit of grace to account for traffic/OP having a chat with someone at the school gates/one of the daughters running late coming out of school etc etc etc

Happyjoe · 08/09/2026 15:56

Can't see what difference it makes, what a really strange oddball neighbour. Don't take any nonsense OP, you were kind.

ScottBakula · 08/09/2026 15:55

The only things I can think of is the mum has fallen out with the other child's mum so doesn't think the child 'deserves ' help or she thinks the child is in someway a bad influence
Both of which are absolutely nuts reasons

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/09/2026 15:55

Tell her to fuck off

Grumpyoldcat · 08/09/2026 15:55

Are you actually kidding? Id avoid that conversation as I would want to punch her for being so ungrateful.

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 15:53

MyMilchick · 08/09/2026 15:49

And if the OP needed to stop at a shop on the way home as another poster said would she have expected the OP to tell her that too? fgs it's ridiculous behaviour over a few minutes.

It is ridiculous but my mum was incredibly anxious back in the day and I’m just wondering if the normal for then is that the daughter let’s her know she’s home. Or if she was checking a ring doorbell or something.

TreeDudette · 08/09/2026 15:52

My DD is 15 and I never speak to the parents anymore. The kids all have phones. I'd offer a lift and allow the kid to communicate with their parent. I might prompt them to check with mum/ dad but they are old enough to be making some basic decisions themselbes. This is batshittery of the first order.