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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I in the wrong or was DSis being a bridezilla?

189 replies

Weddingdrama26 · 08/09/2026 13:20

Throwaway username for this!

My DSis had an abroad wedding this summer. We were over there for a few days before, during which there was a couple of different ‘events’ including a welcome dinner.

At this dinner, one of her bridesmaids was having what I deemed to be an inappropriate conversation. In ear shot of this, were various older family members who wouldn’t have wanted to hear such (sexual) comments. I followed the bridesmaid to the bathroom and politely suggested she reined in the conversation topics. Which she did.

This was a few days before the wedding. The next morning, my sister sent me a series of shitty messages suggesting I was over reacting, there was drink involved so there would obviously be ‘adult conversations’ and she didn’t appreciate me causing potential issues before her Wedding. I explained why I pulled her up and left it at that. Not all family members present were drinking.

Post Wedding, she is now incredibly off with me and actively avoiding having to spend any time with me.

I have consulted others who agree with what I did but I would welcome some impartial feedback. Should I have left it given the circumstances, or was I right to have said something?

OP posts:

Ohdearnotthisagain · 08/09/2026 13:33

So the bridesmaid had a bitch afterwards to your sister? MEH. Who cares? She’s gross! Crack on and ignore your sisters drama.

Original poster

Weddingdrama26 · 08/09/2026 13:32

Gatekeeper · 08/09/2026 13:21

We need to know what she was saying!

There was references to anal sex and a story about her going to a works party and sleeping with a colleague, then shortly after also going back to her room with another colleague who unaware of the previous encounter went down on her.

OP posts:

HotGrapefruit · 08/09/2026 13:30

What was she saying?

"Remember when the groom took me up the arse at university, OMG?!"

Distasteful perhaps...

But you probably should say something in public rather than in the bathroom like you are the teacher. "Oi! Keep it down Anna!" would do.

parietal · 08/09/2026 13:29

how do you know the old person was uncomfortable? did they actually tell you? or are you just making assumptions?

or is it the case that the conversation you overheard made YOU uncomfortable and you justified your reaction by thinking about the old person?

sounds like you were being OTT to tell someone off, but your sister is also being OTT to hold a grudge.

JudgeJ · 08/09/2026 13:29

MellowSubmarine · 08/09/2026 13:24

If I was an “older family member” I’d have thought you patronising to step in to protect my delicate ears. They aren’t children!

We older people often have poor hearing, I hope she was speaking load enough for anyone interested to hear!

Knickerstoya · 08/09/2026 13:29

Who died and put you in charge?

ladyb2gw · 08/09/2026 13:28

Sounds like you were being precious. Bit different if she was talking sexual exploits around small children but not adults

Smartiepants79 · 08/09/2026 13:26

Depends on how bad it was I guess but I don’t think I’d have bothered to follow someone to the bathroom and tell them off for risqué chat. Unless she was drunkenly bellowing about her rather unique sexlife. Presumably once she had walked away to go to the loo the conversation was over?? Your SIL is overreacting but I probably would have just let this one go in the first place.

LauderSyme · 08/09/2026 13:26

I think if you were certain that older family members might hear her and be made to feel uncomfortable, then it was perfectly reasonable to curtail her topics of conversation.

Your DSis pettily over-reacting, imo.

dairydebris · 08/09/2026 13:25

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 08/09/2026 13:23

Yes and no

YABU - I don’t think you should police other people’s conversations

YANBU - but your sister is being a bit over dramatic holding a grudge

This.

Can't imagine ever telling somebody else what they can and can't talk about. Weird. Embarrassed for them yes. Policing their conversation no. Old people have had sex too you know.