Was I in the wrong or was DSis being a bridezilla?

If you ‘older’ relatives didn’t want to hear they could have said so themselves.

you shouldn’t be policing what other people can listen to or converse about

This sounds like an interesting story. I'd be pissed if you stopped me from hearing it.

You are completely ridiculous.

At most, you could have made a joke there and then saying x relative would have a fit and you would never hear the end of it 😂 , because of course it was not terribly appropriate

but you are ridiculous to have made such a big uptight deal and follow the bridesmaid in the bathroom, what were you thinking!

Totally unreasonable of you to police someone else's conversation at a social event.

Your sister is unreasonable to hold a grudge about it though.

I doubt she thinks anyone is interested, she as just pissed

I am genuinely surprised posters think talking about having sex with 2 people on the same night is appropriate dinner conversation! I mean fine amongst your friends or peers but do people not read situations anymore?

I think the measure here is your sisters opinion. The fact she is your DS means you are, or should have been better placed to judge her reaction to her bridesmaid discussing this in public.

You got it wrong. Your sister obviously doesnt mind her sex life being discussed in public and she has come down on the side of her bridesmaid.

If it was me i would just apologise and say in future you have no interest in protecting her good (or bad) name.

If it was me they were discussing then i would have appreciated your input but everyone has different standards. Obviously your sister has hers set at a different level

Ambushing.

Autocorrect.

Not great topics for the dinner table and to be honest if that was talked about in front of me, my children would pull someone up on it I think. Very disrespectful. Why on earth do people think everyone is interested in the graphic detail of their sex lives.

Abusing people in the bathroom is weird.

If you were offended by her conversation you should just tell her quietly someone more open.

This completely.

this!! How ridiculous.
I think you were rude to the bridesmaid trying to police her conversation

Blimey - does Dsis know what the conversation was?!

No way I'd have told my sibling to reign them in, no bride needs to deal with that. But I would have told the people to please keep their voices down given the occasion and older family members. For most people, a quiet polite word would have done the trick without generating drama.

I can see why your sister is annoyed that you caused, in her eyes, drama and I think she's being daft now but you also handled it poorly. An easy solution would be to shelve your pride and apologise.

Some people have no filter, a mixed family dinner isn't a place to talk about shagging a work mate the other members of the dinner were not her friends.

I probably would have said something too, let your Sister wallow her bridesmaid has no manners but at least she reigned it in, unlike your Sister who is dragging it out.

I wouldn't particularly want to hear that either, but as another poster succinctly put it - who died and left you in charge?!
Had the older family members voiced or displayed their discomfort, or are you taking offence on their behalf?
If there were kids around, definitely unacceptable.
In the case that you've outlined though, YABU.

Oh my god, that's rough!
I would struggle because I'd think if I just say TMI in front of everyone that might seem patronising, and if I told her in private that might seem OTT. So you can't win.
I don't even think this is to do with the ages of those present, and your only mistake was using that as an excuse! Whether you are 25 or 95, seriously nobody needs to know that shite!! 🤦

Yes, people are offended by different things, so it's just manners not to deliberately offend your guests, and a wedding isn't the place to have a free speech I can say whatever I like debate, especially as it might have been difficult for said person to put themselves out for her extravaganza-the fact you talk about her being a bridezilla and the do going on so long suggests you think she's one of those who expects the world to revolve round her because she's in a white dress?

Well based on your update I would’ve said something too. I’d have tried to downplay it and be as diplomatic as possible. How did the BM take it?

I’m not that old and wouldn’t want to hear about anyone’s sex lives in that detail. I know that my parents would be mortified.

Yes, I agree, too much! But I would have said oh Julie TMI... and pulled her up there and then. She was probably pissed and now feels embarrassed about what she has said and moaned to your sister

Not enough information to judge. What was said and are you sure the older people would have cared and wanted it stopped?
How old is older - if you have an 80 year old uncle who is a retired archbishop that’s one thing but if it was a 65 year old aunt who spent her career in healthcare or the police they are not hearing anything they haven’t heard before I suspect.

If it was bothering them they could have said something.

Following another adult to the bathroom to police her conversation is wrong.
It is done now.

This. I can imagine how humiliation at being spoken to like this/ having an upset friend spoken like this turns to anger

What is the age at which you stop being allowed to listen to sexually explicit conversations? I need to be prepared...

Depends on the conversation. Either you or your sister was over-reacting. I'm leaning towards it being you as it is not usual for adults to tell other adults what they can/can't talk about.