Was I in the wrong or was DSis being a bridezilla?

This!!! Own your shit.

obviously 😂

And probably offended by many other things which is why the sister is ignoring her 😂

Exactly this ffs! Don't police other peoples conversations OP, it isn't your place to tell other adults what they can and cant talk about. Not exactly sure how your sister having an issue with this would make her a "Bridzella" either

Anal sex and then a works party where she shagged someone and then.later that night someone else went down on her. Classy.

I'm intrigued as to whom the BM was telling this story!

just be honest you were the one offended by the conversation

ew

It's not your job to police what other, grown adults talk about.

Is this bridesmaid’s first initial J? 🤮

You are in the wrong - and you need to say sorry to your sis, in my view. It's also a bit patronising to assume 'older' members of the group will throw a fit of the vapours if their aged ears are exposed to a bit of salty chat.

I think you did the right thing. Talking like that among people you don’t know is grim. So you were also saving face for her too. God knows what she would’ve divulged next. What an embarrassment. She should be thanking you. As should your sister.

No reason why older people are particularly likely to mind conversations about sex. Some of them grew up in the swinging sixties. If there were a lot of crude expressions, that might cause offence.

There's a difference between having respect for your elders and automatically assuming they aren't interested in salacious chatter though. Older people (however you define older) are not some homogeneous, sexually naive, pearl clutching group fgs 😂

Didn’t the elderly relatives have a mouth on them ? To speak up themselves if they had an issue?

I don’t think it was any of your business.
“older people” know about sex and it’s not for you to police conversations. I’d be pissed off with you too.

@Weddingdrama26 your family members were probably intrigued in the younger generation and their antics. Likely, apart from the anal, they’ve seen worse in the dramas and films they watch. Unless they’re known to be prudish and stuck-up, a cut-above the rest etc… I simply would have ear-wigged and thought ‘what a slag 😂 ’ but would have found it all very entertaining.

It wasn’t your place to say anything to your DSis friends.

I must be leading g a quiet life but I can’t think of anyone in my social circle who would think it was ok to start bragging about anal sex and double dipping. Especially in mixed company at a big life event. You did the right thing to pull her up over it.

It sounds like it was an inappropriate conversation and by doing what felt like the right thing you have been made to seem like the one in the wrong rather than the talking point being oh that bridesmaids chat was a bit much it’s about how you were rude to her, or perceived to be.

Id be inclined in this type of situation to do what I can to steer the conversation away to another topic and leave it at that

This

And particularly if the BM had drunk a lot, she herself may care the next day about the sort of impression she made.

Different families operate differently. If this had gone down at a meal with my in-laws she may have been asked to leave - they definitely have delicate ears when it comes to coarse language.

I would imagine that Great Aunt Ida would have coughed her false teeth into the soup listening to that conversation!

You did the right thing asking the BM to be sensitive of other guests.

Your sister - who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ just leave her to it.

eta - I wouldn't apologise either - as other posters may have suggested you do.

Bloody hell - don't people talk about the weather anymore?

I have some fairly religious family members who would very offended overhearing this and wouldn't hold back from voicing it... It depends on how you said it, but I think I would have given the bridesmaid a heads up before said family members caused a scene

Your intention was to save any offence being taken by the relatives, and to save judgement from them towards your sister presumably? It was a noble effort, but not your job.

If who your sister chooses to surround herself with reflects badly on her, then that's on her, not you. I'd guess that this hits an old sibling nerve, and is less to do with what happened on the day than a previous pattern.

Apologise, for the sake of moving forward and note to let them make their own beds and lie in them in future.

Do I think that's a conversation someone should be having at a wedding reception in earshot of other guests? No.

Do I think it was your place to go and tell her off as if you're her form teacher? Also no.

It's not up to you to determine what other people talk about or who you think might be offended by what. If any of the 'older guests' were offended they could have told her themselves. And as your sister chose that person as her bridesmaid, she obviously knows what sort of person she is and what she might talk about after a couple of drinks.

To be honest, all three of you sound like a bunch of drama queens.

I'm 73 and would have had no difficulty in following the conversation ....but I would agree that given the mixed range of people at the Dinner, I wouldn't have thought it was an appropriate topic of conversation at that particular dinner. That's the kind of conversation, best reserved for a night out with your best friends, if at all!!