Was I in the wrong or was DSis being a bridezilla?

Don’t like calling MN double standard but I think that had it been the best man with a similar tale of explicit detail the responses would very much favour Op intervention.

I purposely didn’t invite my merchant navy school friend as he is not able to rein it in even when told. At least the BM was crass but not so much as to not regulate her self.

The sister should be grateful she was looking out for everyone at her wedding

Don't you just love the younger generation who think once people get past a certain age they need to be spoken about like they can't think for themselves and are spoken about like they are not in the room

Yes it is laughable the way people on here seem to think any of this would be a revelation to today's pensioners. We weren't born in the 1930s, we all grew up in the 1960s, the era of free love, drugs and rock n roll.

You must be joking. Personally I wouldn't find that conversation remotely erotic, the opposite in fact.

Whatever happened to decorum?

I wouldn't want to listen to that trollop boasting about her sexual encounters at a pre-wedding dinner either.

Bridezilla

Exactly this. So many people here desperate to demonstrate their superior levels of ‘open mindedness’ and ‘progressiveness’ but really it’s just condoning rude and totally inappropriate behaviour.

There’s something a bit sad and attention seeking about having such a conversation in front of an audience. I imagine the older family members would rather not have had such sordid behaviour paraded at an otherwise nice family celebration. It’s not a good look.

I wouldnt have said something I don't see any need to do this offended on peoples behalf thing if they had a problem they could have spoken for themselves

I think it was disrespectful of the bridesmaid to blast her sex life in anyone’s earshot old or not. And no I’m not a fuddy-duddy.

Yuck. I’d probably not have said anything but do agree with you and I’d have felt really awkward and uncomfortable. But wtf is your sister so bothered?

That is kind of conversation that would keep me interested in! YWBU - it’s not your place.

Given the update about the content of the conversation, I am not surprised you said something. She sounds gross.
Your sister is being overdramatic.

Oh well. What's done is done i guess. Bet the oldies loved that 🥰. Probably swinging from the light shades when the got back to the room....new lease of life and all that 🤭🤫

This - the bm had no filter and obviously no class perhaps your Dsis should choose better instead of being annoyed at you.

If it was my prewedding id have been grateful of your intervention!

I think in particular that second story is particularly vile - withholding info that may have impacted coworker2s consent is horrible.

I mean personally, I wouldn’t have pulled her to one-side.

I’d have either told my sister about the comments she was making and let her deal with it directly if she felt it was necessary.

Or, I’d have left her to it and if your family members were offended I’d have let them complain to the bride themselves.

Gross convo especially at a wedding but I don’t think I would have followed her. I might have made a jokey comment there and then like - time and place guys!

or pulled a face and moved away and avoided her!

I think bride is being over dramatic though.

I think you did right.. the bridesmaid obviously went straight back to your sister and told her.. anal sex going down on her no need to shout it for all ears I agree with you .. id tell your sister the context of it.

It's happened. You cant change it. Don't give it another thought. If your sister continues to refer to it just tell her you felt references to anal sex and shagging are not appropriate where you are not all close friends and tell her to leave it there

I'm also older and while I wouldn't be "shocked" I would find it pretty gross and hardly something to brag about at an event like that.

I'm not surprised you said something then. That's totally inappropriate, how embarrassing.

I would have probably said ‘ can you repeat that a bit louder, I don’t think the guests on the next table heard about your sex life.’
Your dsis has some pretty gross friends imo. There’s a time and a place.

Who are you to be policing other people’s conversations? I’m an old person and I love other people’s naughty chatter and I have truly seen and heard it all before! Judging, censoring and lecturing are very unattractive traits.

It's nothing to do with the age of anyone in earshot. It's common politeness and decency not to speak like this in any company where you don't know for sure that everyone is on board with this sort of discussion. And least of all a pre wedding celebration. She was incredibly uncouth, got called out in it (politely and away from the crowd) and has gone complaining to the bride. Yuk.

I'm an older adult, 72, and nothing you've reported as being said would have shocked me.
And as for the poster who is 50ish and thinks anyone older would never have heard of anal sex, words fail me.
I was a young adult in the late 60s/early 70s. I guess, from the comments, you'd have been shocked by what we said and did then.