AIBU to think our 22 yo son is being slightly mad turning down a free London flat?

He’s making a silly and frankly spoilt decision but let him. He’ll soon get sick of forking out 1k a month in rent plus bills.

I'd do short term let's for a year if you can stomach it and ask him again in a year as things will be totally different then.
He may hate living with his mates.
He may hate having little spare cash.
He may want to live with his GF.
His mates may want to live elsewhere.

I haven’t said it’s now or never it was just an option I gave him and I was shocked. He said if it was a 4 bed then yes but it’s only a 2 bed so his 4 friends can’t all live there not enough space to work from home three times a week etc for all of them.

It’s not exactly hard to inherit a flat of a dead parent. It’s not my flat originally I never bought it only had it under my name when my father passed away almost 15 years ago we don’t have multiple properties in London. Same way in my will my house goes to my kids and everything my husband and I own will just go to them. They’ll inherit a 4 bedroom house in a village not boasting it’s what happens in most families when someone dies.

Rent the flat and save the profit for your DC in the future. That way he can live as he chooses for a few years and learn to budget while living with his mates. Later you’ll have the funds to give him a decent deposit when he’s ready to buy. Keep the deposit money quiet.

Job done.

I proposed the idea of subsiding his rent DH said let’s let him figure it out himself and when and if he asks for support we will be here to help him. He’s worked for a year and lived at home rent free with not much outgoings so he should be fine for a year at least.

DS is 22 and has finally got his first proper job in London and we are absolutely thrilled for him. He graduated from the University of Edinburgh with a first in Economics last year and came home afterwards. We live in a village and while looking for work he worked at the local farm shop and tutored A-level students.

We didn't charge him rent. He helps around the house and it's actually been really lovely having him home. He says he genuinely missed the village when he was at university the peace and quiet, being able to get back into reading and cycling, and having time with our four dogs.

He's also managed to save about £16k since graduating so it's not as though he's been sitting around spending everything he earns. He's actually been very sensible financially.
He's now got a London job on £38k which we're very chuffed about. That’s a very good wage for a 22 year old newly grad.

DH and I have a two bedroom flat in Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham. We’ve been renting for a while and the tenants have since bought a house now so they’ve moved out. We have had it on short term let as it’s been summer time so lots of tourists have been eager, it’s had a new group of people every other week or so since May it’s been quite hard for us to keep up with to be honest as this was our first time doing short term let’s seems as though the market in London is good. We've offered the flat to our son him and a friend completely rent-free. They would only have to pay the bills.
And he's said no.Because he wants to live with THREE of his mates. They’re currently searching and have been going to views for a 4 bed.

I have told him he's being ridiculous. He is 22, starting his first job on £38k, and we've basically handed him free accommodation in London. He could live there, pay the bills, continue saving and potentially build up a very decent pot of money over the next few years.Instead, he wants to rent a house with four friends because he wants the experience of living with them. I get it. I lived with 5 other girls (friends I made at uni) in London after university and throughly enjoy it they’re still my closest friends. And this is where I am conflicted because, if I'm being completely honest, I do understand it but also the economy is different to when I was 22

He's had a very nice year at home. He's saved £16k, had a peaceful year in the village, read, cycled, spent time with the dogs and generally enjoyed being at home. He isn't desperate to leave because he hates being here. He said he was slightly sad (albeit happy) about getting the job because he’s enjoyed being in a village his mind could finally think (his words) He does want to go and have the experience of being 22 and living in London with his mates.

DH thinks we should leave him to it. He's an adult, he's earning a decent salary, he's saved a good amount already and he's allowed to prioritise having fun and living with his friends over maximising his savings.
And I know he's right.

But I can't help thinking that a free two-bedroom flat in Hammersmith and Fulham that is fully paid for and his parents own is the sort of offer you don't turn down lightly at 22!

At the same time, perhaps I'm looking at it entirely through the lens of being his parent. I'm thinking about deposits, investments and financial security. He's thinking about having his four best friends round for dinner, going to the pub after work and coming home to a house full of people his own age.
He's not asking us to subsidise a lavish lifestyle either. He has £16k saved, a £38k salary and presumably will be perfectly capable of paying his own rent. He just doesn't want the financially optimal option.
And perhaps that's the point. He can afford to make the choice he actually wants.
So AIBU to think he's mad?Would you take the free London flat and save like mad for the next few years or would you pay rent to live with four of your best friends at 22 because you only get to be 22 once?
I'm increasingly wondering whether I'm confusing “financially sensible” with “the right choice for him”.

Maybe I am being unreasoned he’s 22, has a girlfriend who is soon moving to London too and wants to experience London to its full potential, get pissed with his friends and have fun I can’t fault him maybe I am being unreasonable.

He’s making a silly and frankly spoilt decision but let him. He’ll soon get sick of forking out 1k a month in rent plus bills.

I think I’m not thinking like someone in their early 20s I’m in my early 50s. I’m just shocked because of his experience with 8 stage round interviews which caused him lots of stress. It was just a nice gesture from us for persevering no strings attached but as posters say maybe by the time he’s in his late 20s he might have a different view. The flat isn’t necessarily going anywhere it’s my late father’s flat and holds sentimental value albeit I did rent it out it was to family friends and they lived there for 12 years till they bought their own place at the end of last year and moved out this year so we’ve just had it on short term lets mainly tourists from abroad.

We have discussed all the possible ways wirh him and he’s come to his own conclusion he is an adult we can only support his decisions it doesn’t mean we can’t be shocked. We’ve never said we didn’t want hassle of renting ever again, we’ve only ever rented long term to one couple the rest have been short let’s which has been a struggle as we are still learning. We just thought it would be a nice gesture for our son after the year he’s had applying and interviewing for lots of jobs that does take a toll on you of course here you’ll say toughen up either way I know for a fact at 22 I wasn’t going on 6 - 8 stages of interviews or assessments centres and AI filters. It’s not a humble brag but if you think so then that’s that I cannot do much about that.