AIBU to refuse my 18-year-old access to his savings?

If its a child trust fund it has to be opened in their name, I doubt when their son was born they foresaw such issues

Hide the passport and pass book if there is one. If he pushes for it then you could try bargaining unless he plays hardball and gets police/solicitor involved. Doing this may buy you a little time. If you're really lucky he may see sense and turn his life around but let's not get carried away.
Sorry OP.
💐

I understand why you don't want to give it to him but legally I don't think you can deny him.
The point of the child accounts is that you take advantage of the child's tax allowance or ISA so the money is not yours it is. if you had kept it in your account you would likely have had to pay tax on the interest. So legally once he is of age he has access to it.
Can you consult a financial lawyer to see if there is any way you can legally delay giving it to him given his obvious vulnerability?

I don't know how old you are but for your own sake, I beg you to find another way of coping that isn't going to desert you when you get old.

It's very early days yet but I'm feeling very hopeful about rhodiola, which seems to mimic the latest ADHD drugs with effects on norepinephrine.

Sorry for the thread derail.

You've mentioned 1. you would gladly buy him a small place, 2
. that he doesn't want to buy and be tied down, 3. you don't want him to waste his money on extortionate rent.

Could you buy a small investment property with your money and in your name and rent it to him for a reasonable figure- undercutting the other private landlords? Might be attractive to him, would hopefully cover any mortgage you need and avoid the money being frittered to a private landlord?

Doesn't help with the wider problems I know but if this is within your reach I'd consider it.

That's putting it very mildly.
He's in trouble with the police and up before a judge, and got fired from work for not putting bothering to show up.
He is clearly not yet responsible enough to handle a large sum of money sensibly. He will almost certainly piss it up the wall and be left with nothing.
OP should never have put the savings in the kid's name in the first place, but that horse bolted a LONG time ago.

Most people start saving for people when they are babies, no one sets out to make a mess intentionally do they!

Those two things are not mutually incompatible.

If she cannot do it because the bank won't let her then it's irrelevant the money isn't hers.

If the bank will let her do it then she can do it whether the money is hers or not, thieves do it all the time.

Also, there must be something in weed that helps with ADHD. I used to be a massive addict too. Elvanse doesn’t agree with me, so I cut the weed by joining a running club instead.

You can’t remove money out of a Junior ISA or child trust fund. It is the child’s at 18 managed by a parent/ guardian until the age of 18. I don’t get why people think they can just mug off their kids.

My son had to go into the building society and fill in a form to close the account and to transfer it to other accounts, from memory, if he hadn't done this then the money would just stay there until such time he went in to close it, he did have to take ID

I remember getting a letter about transferring my child’s Junior savings bond to them. I did but I had the option to get it paid back to me and then reinvest it. If you can do that, you could see if you can put it into something where your DS can’t access it until he’s 25yrs old or whatever.

He’ll be okay. It’ll take longer than expected but he will be okay. Self medicating is a massive problem. I’d ask him to try Steraline too, it takes a month to get through the strange side effects, after a month, it’s brilliant.
I was once a weed addict. It’s extremely hard to break free without support.

From what you said, he won’t have the wherewithal to transfer it to himself. I’d leave it and not mention it again.
If some of the cash is going to be spent, a better use might be an ADHD retreat abroad, time in nature, movement, and a bit of structure around understanding how his brain works, rather than another conversation about the money.

Cross post!

Op yes what a worrying time,
Can you transfer it in to a high interest account or a bond account and stipulate age appropriate via a document from a solicitor,

He isn't emotionally mature enough or responsible now to have access to it,

Would it help to get some advice from your bank,

Could you get it into a five year fixed bond somehow? Then that kicks the can down the road for five years

Destroying someone’s passport to control them, which is what this would be, is coercive control and can be construed as coercive or controlling behaviour under the Serious Crime Act so tempting though it might be it’s not a route to take. Just having or controlling someone’s ID without a reasonable excuse can also be a crime under the Identity Documents Act, so if he’s asked for the passport back and the parents have refused they’re on a sticky wicket. But I feel for the OP - it’s a tricky position to be in.

It’s his when he is 18. There is nothing you can do about that. You shouldn’t have put it into a junior ISA or child trust fund if you didn’t want him to have it. You can’t within his ID documents he’s an adult. Perhaps sit him down and work out how that money could be used to get him back on track. Other than that sometimes they have to fail to improve.

Oh OP, I don’t have any advice regarding how to safeguard the money for when he is older, but I do know how you feel and have solidarity. My son has behaved almost identically and I know how worried you must be. Slightly different situation in that he already had access to the money from his grandparents and was using it to fund not working and drugs. He just existed for 2 years. It’s so stressful and I really feel for you. I couldn’t get him to engage with MH either. In the end I encouraged him to take a year out and go travelling in Australia, get away from the toxic environment here and help him “adult” as he will need to stand on his own two feet. Fast forward 5 months, he loves it, he has a very well paid job, has been saving to buy a camper van and travel Australia once he has saved enough money to live for the next 6 months!! I cannot tell you the change it has made. Please know, your son will eventually make good choices and sometimes it is about letting go and helping them to fly without you. Take care x

You can’t legally do this. Yes, you can login to the account and make changes/moves (because you opened the account and have the login details obviously), say to an account with higher interest. but legally you CANNOT move money from Junior’s account to Mummy’s account.

You are not unreasonable, but legaly the money is his and if he wants it desperatly enough he will find a way.

Si I suggest to give him the money in smaller amounts like 300 a month. Yes there is still a change he's going to waste it, but it at least will last longer and he doesn't blow everything in a few months.

I'm not saying it's an ideal solution bit maybe the lesser evil.

His mental health is very poor. I’ve no doubt he is aware that he is a big disappointment. He’s mentally ill and trapped in addiction.
The money isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. He has a disability that makes holding down a regular job difficult, sounds like he’s drowning and putting on the careless attitude. I’m sure he cares big time that he is not functioning normally.
Take your foot off the pedal around jobs/monies.
His mental health is the most important.