AIBU to refuse my 18-year-old access to his savings?

We have a NatWest first saver as one of the accounts for our children and they requires actions to convert to an adult account at 18, it isn't automatic and I can transfer the money out of the account at any point up to their 18th birthday. It's one of the reasons we chose it.

None of those are the account type in question though, which was my entire point way back. If OP had the money in trust she wouldn’t be asking here about it as it would already be safe from her DS accessing it. Not sure why you have blathered on to prove that other accounts exist when it’s completely irrelevant to OP situation.

Im laughing a bit at you saying I am unable to ‘let it drop’ when you are doing exactly the same by responding to me.

Anyway, it’s probably time to let it drop, you are right about that.

I had a savings account for my grandson that he didn’t know about ( which I know isn’t your situation). When he was 18 I talked to my son ( his dad) about whether to let my grandson have the money which legally he was entitled to. We decided not to as he’d already got a car and my son knew if my grandson got it then he just fritter it away on stuff.
2 years later my grandson decided he and his girlfriend would go travelling. They both worked 2 jobs. One day at dinner he was telling us about his plans and where he was going. I then just passed him the bank statement. He was a bit confused until I explained. Then he got quite emotional.
He went travelling, had a fabulous time and sent us lots of photos and videos. That is a memory he will always have.

Oh this is a good sign. It seems like he is still willing to listen and accept help a little bit

It sounds like he is still trying by continuing to look for other jobs

If it’s any consolation, my eldest son left school at 16, against my wishes but encouraged by his father who wanted crew for the trawler and when 17, he blew through nearly 20 thousand quid in 3 or 4 weeks , buying motorbikes, music centres, TVs, clothes and taking a dozen pals to the bowling alley and clubs every day till it was gone, feeding them, paying for the drink , taxis etc and goodness knows what else.
When he had nothing, he got a job, lost it , then another, didn’t like it, then a third in a short period of time . Then he went to London, got work and is on a decent salary , pretty much the only one in the company who can do all he can do. He owns a house and by any standards, is in a good place.

Accounts held in trust
Accounts owned by people where someone else has POA.
Joint accounts.
Accounts where the owner has been deemed not to have capacity by a court.
Off the top of my head, I'll bet there are others.

It's not relevant to the discussion which moved past this a loooong time ago, I don't understand why you seem unable to let it drop.

Have you checked out the law of theft yet?

Which ones?

edited to add, never mind. Nothing you can come up with is the type of account OPDS had otherwise as I said ages ago, she wouldn’t be here asking questions about stopping him accessing the money.

There are.

My eldest grandson, now 21, is rather like your son - failed at school exams despite taking them twice, he has severe numeracy difficulties and dyslexia, anger management issues (in a big way) and a big chip on his shoulder about pretty much everything. However, because he's gifted in one of the arts, secured a uni place to start at age 20. His mum had saved for this eventuality since his birth. He knew there was money for him at 18, but didn't really bother with it, didn't know what to do to access it etc. that is, until he acquired a girlfriend who was very clued up in all things financial. He gave her his details and she cleaned him out. His mum managed to persuade the bank to stop the debit card, which helped for a while, but withdrawals resumed soon after via online banking. He's now in casual employment and his mum is paying his rent (as he's picking up some work in a different county some hours away). He still very much needs help with general life skills, we can see troubles ahead because he can't knuckle down and be preemptive, he literally needs dragging into places to sort things out, otherwise things will slide out of control again.
It's so frustrating, OP, you can see where they're going wrong but your help is rejected, your advice counts for nothing, until they see and feel the enormity and the utter waste of what happened they will always blame you. Sorry but now he's officially an 'adult' there's virtually nothing you can do to stop him throwing his future away ☹️

I have a friend who dd spent all her trust fund too - and all they could do was watch. This is not a new story I'd been on MN for long enough not to save for the dcs in their accounts. Apart from the risk of a child receiving the money when they weren't ready for it at 18.
I also felt if we fell on hard times - that money might be needed to pay the mortgage, having it tied up beyond reach of anyone responsible is risky too.

but the OP can't keep hold of the passport if he asks for it.

This thread 100% confirms why I chose to put my children's savings in an account solely in my name! Thanks OP.

I really feel for you, if feel exactly the same.

Intentionally withholding an adult's passport against their will can be treated as theft, unlawful detention, or coercive control depending on the context.

Such a difficult situation.i feel for you but not sure what you can do.
Is there a medical out? In victorian times you could have someone certified as mad for their own safety - is there a modern day equivalent? He clearly cannot be trusted to look after himself or his health properly .... and it will only take 1 slightly more savvy "friend" to help him get the money I fear ... for a price!
Good luck!

I know story after story of kids who get access to money too young and it ends in disaster.

In this case, it's almost guaranteed to be one. It's unfortunate he even know about the money in the first place, though.

There are no such bank accounts that allow other people access to transfer all your money to them. None. OP has said it was a child account that they managed. Once a child turns 18 the account automatically converts to an adult account.

We don't know what the rules of the actual account and the bank it's with are. I made it clear in my first post that you argued with that she could only do it if she could do it, so what the hell are you still on at me about it for 🤪 ?

All thieves can say their action wasn't intended to be permanent. It's a valid defence if it's believed to be true. Please check out the law before you argue with me about it.

Yabu because that money is his and he's an adult so you can't stop him having it legally. Yes he's likely going to squander it that's true, and that is shit but it is his to squander.

Sounds familiar. He will NEVER be able to save or manage money.

Do whatever you can to prevent him from laying his hands on this money. Can you move it to an account he cant access?

Lacking capacity isn’t the same as choosing to spend money in a way that’s others don’t approve of.

If you are very concerned you may have to look at whether you can argue that he doesn't have the mental capacity to manage his money, which based on the other things you've said thus far, which may be the case. I'd suggest having a look at the below and speaking to Citizens Advice for further information.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/making-finance-decisions-for-young-people-parent-and-carer-toolkit/making-financial-decisions-for-young-people-who-lack-capacity-a-toolkit-for-parents-and-carers

Her DS is 18. It’s not a child account anymore. The whole point of the thread is that OP doesn’t have control of the money.