MIL situation after she arrived early

I think your son needs to get a bit of a grip. Presumably it was a small amount of work that wasn’t due in the next day? Lots of people have said he was rude. You need to accept that.

If you are the interviewer, you are in control of how long the interview takes so don’t really see why that was a problem either.

The dogs would have survived.

I think the OP’s DS isn’t the only one who’s been out all night on the sauce 😂

I think your son needs to get a bit of a grip. Presumably it was a small amount of work that wasn’t due in the next day? Lots of people have said he was rude. You need to accept that.

If you are the interviewer, you are in control of how long the interview takes so don’t really see why that was a problem either.

The dogs would have survived.

I know…

I think your son needs to get a bit of a grip. Presumably it was a small amount of work that wasn’t due in the next day? Lots of people have said he was rude. You need to accept that.

If you are the interviewer, you are in control of how long the interview takes so don’t really see why that was a problem either.

The dogs would have survived.

Yes that tends to be how the quote system works on Mumsnet. Still not sure what you are getting at.

My son wanted to get the work done as he didn’t know how long it would take, is anxious about college in general and had football later on, so no he couldn’t really do it later and feel ok.

I couldn’t finish work because I was interviewing someone. Some people have no understanding of other jobs clearly.

The dogs need walking. I asked her to come, she didn’t want to so my husband stayed with her. She doesn’t need both of us there the whole time!

She found out we had booked half days of annual leave all this week and suggested she come over. It wasn’t an issue if she came when we said or looked after herself til we were free when she arrived so early. We could have had all afternoon and evening with her but she stropped off without having dinner which we had planned for her preferences! We often work from 10/11am til 7/8pm so it’s not easy finding time in the week to see her. When we have time off, we try to accommodate.

I’ve said all this already.

Your post is in the quote stack!

My son wanted to get the work done as he didn’t know how long it would take, is anxious about college in general and had football later on, so no he couldn’t really do it later and feel ok.

I couldn’t finish work because I was interviewing someone. Some people have no understanding of other jobs clearly.

The dogs need walking. I asked her to come, she didn’t want to so my husband stayed with her. She doesn’t need both of us there the whole time!

She found out we had booked half days of annual leave all this week and suggested she come over. It wasn’t an issue if she came when we said or looked after herself til we were free when she arrived so early. We could have had all afternoon and evening with her but she stropped off without having dinner which we had planned for her preferences! We often work from 10/11am til 7/8pm so it’s not easy finding time in the week to see her. When we have time off, we try to accommodate.

I’ve said all this already.

Yes because you asked if we would ‘all stop what we were doing’. As I had already addressed the OP and her DH working as valid, I focused on what the DC were ‘doing’ during their grandmother’s visit.

Because you said if “you were all lazing in bed”.

93% that I’m not being unreasonable. Thank you!

Husband has spoken to his mum. He told her that as she turned up 2.5 hours early on a day she knew we were working and we had said the kids may not be free, that she should have looked after herself after being told to help herself to anything she fancies. He also said that she’s wrong to call our children rude when our oldest didn’t even know she was coming and our youngest had plans to do his work after his very important and stressful first day. He told her that if she can’t cope with me being a little late because my work ran over, our dogs needing walking regardless of who visits, and general life still continuing, then she will have to visit less often when we can put a couple of hours completely aside to formerly greet and host her. He said he found it offensive for her to say we made no effort when we spent the whole afternoon chatting to her, bought food in that she likes for lunch (and dinner that she didn’t even stay for), cooked lunch and generally waited on her from 2.30pm.

Her response was ‘well that’s me told’. He confirmed the time of the meal for our son at the weekend and she said ‘am I even wanted to be there’. He told her to stop trying to be the victim, that of course she is wanted, but that she has to be considerate to all of our lives.

He described her as frosty. He ended the conversation saying he had to start work and told her he loves her, so hopefully the meal will be ok.

His dad has messaged him to say that he heard the whole conversation and he doesn’t understand why she has done and said what she has and has told her she needs to apologise. I felt really sad as his dad wrote ‘please don’t fall out with us son’ at the end of his text. My husband said we wouldn’t but that his mum needs to be more considerate and realise we make loads of effort to see them even when we are really busy so it’s hurtful for his mum to say we made no effort.

Well then why are you banging on about working people in bed?

Those who would have stopped everyone and welcomed MIL where the heck do you work you can randomly drop everything because mil has popped by unexpectedly.
I’d be totally bemused if the person interviewing me left to tend to her mil.
Op says eldest had no idea mil coming he’d been working long hours and staying with gf. If she hadn’t rushed off he’d presumably have seen her at dinner time. He’s an adult home from uni.

I did bother and I disagree.

I am in my 60s and am perfectly capable of getting myself a drink etc when visiting my children and will do so. Furthermore I do not expect family to stop what they are doing the moment I arrive, nor do I turn up 2 hours early! (I have a friend who regularly does this and it is awful,) Just take a book and sit in a cafe if you are too early. I actually find the views on here quite patronising towards older people.

However to be fair I do find some people seem to have a thing about helping themselves in other people's houses even when the 'other people' are close family members or even allowing other people to help. Don't get it myself but my Mum was a bit like this she used to tell anyone visiting to sit down, refuse any help etc then moan when they left for them not helping.

If you had bothered to actually read my posts you would know that I said it was perfectly reasonable for the OP and her DH to carry on with the work they had to do. It’s the DC that should have pulled their finger out.

I’m intrigued by this WFH regime that you both work under. I have never witnessed any workplace either at an office or WFH where you are chained to laptops in the way you and your DH describe apart from a factory assembly line. It sounds pretty draconian for office work. How on earth do you manage the loo ? Please don’t say you have to take the laptop with you ?

I think that you have been a little disingenuous. Your MIL turned up early as she doesn’t believe WFH is really working. So you both decided to teach her a lesson by working with no breaks. To underline the message . Which I get. I might have done the same especially if this was not the first time.

You kids, however are just bloody self absorbed, indulged and rude. However it seems you have cultivated and endorse this behaviour.
If my son had got in very drunk at 8am (not many places open and serving alcohol at that time) and his granny was alone in the house he would have got up to say hello . Because he has been bought up not only to indulge his own needs but to also consider others.
We also go by the saying ‘if you can’t do the time don’t do the crime’ .. in other words if you have other obligations such as a visiting grandmother, using a hangover as an excuse to avoid her for hours is just not acceptable .
The youngest son was just plain rude. All he needed to do was spend 90 minutes with her , together with his brother until his dad was free, he had 8 hours before bed to fit in football and homework from first day at college. You seem to be very keen to support their selfishness rather than teach some manners and respect for their grandmother.