To expect work colleagues to go for meal on theirs days off?

Don't go out of guilt or something, OP. If you can’t or don’t want to, you don’t have to attend.

WFH opportunities at my work has made this kind social event extinct, only because people come in on their preferred days and outside of that seem busy. It was different when we were all in the office daily there was always cake or a tea on. Sometimes people would go to lunch together and Friday night was more a ‘go out for a drink’ night for those inclined to do that.

I can’t recall the last social event in my workplace. I remember though that weekend catch ups happened occasionally and I’d meet friends I’d made at work for dinner. That seems like an age ago!

If you aren’t friends I would say no.

Fair enough, thank you for acknowledging that. x

😆

Okay, fair enough - deranged is a strong word - I accept that!

But my point stands. Yes she can ask but she needs to understand that people will probably so no.

Trouble is, they all appear to wfh, possibly not all geographically close, so travel might be involved.

I just tell colleagues I don’t socialise outside of work, I’d rather be at home and i don't care if I’m seen as antisocial, because I am. I think every situation is different, tho, as I’m still in touch with various colleagues from differing companies.

The use of deranged?

I just said in another post I accept that was a very strong term. I apologise for causing offence by using it.

I agree @KaleidoscopeSmile What a vile post from @Crunchymum suggesting the woman in question is deranged for having the TEMERITY to ask work colleagues out for a social get together for her 50th birthday.

No, we did 50th birthday lunches on a working day at a venue near to work.

This is a highly unpleasant post.

Well that is extremely unusual, for every celebration to be in works time, you must surely know that. Never happened in any job I have ever worked in, you are extremely fortunate.

I don't think people are miserable feckers for not wanting to go, as people are entitled to say no of course, it's the whole attitude (from the OP especially) that this woman is some kind of entitled monster for asking work colleagues to come out with her to celebrate her 50th birthday. IN THEIR OWN TIME! 😱

Never heard such ludicrousness. IME no-one has celebrations in works time, although clearly, it happens seeing as every single celebration in YOUR workplace is in works time! 🙄

This response is MN to a tee for me.

Some bizarre, bizarre people

Why is it odd? She'd like to go out with you all for a birthday meal. That's a nice thing, surely - not odd.
The only thing odd here is you making such a deal of it. Just say something like "sorry, I can't make it, I've got plans, hope you have a nice time/birthday though."
Nobody's forcing you to go.

Stop being offended by a nice gesture! I’d make the effort- you might actually enjoy it! 😮 I’m sure she’ll buy a few drinks, you’ll get to know your colleagues in a different setting. You can forget about home life and routine for a few hours.

Yes the instant judgement of others because the original person has issues, so of course it it everyone else's fault

In 40 years EVERY type of celebration has been in work time

Birthday/ retirement/ wedding/ baby
A short lunch or afternoon tea buffet style gathering organised by others
Pressie/ card / send off
Bit of food, manager does a short speech and gives card/ gift then back to work
Ive been to many of these
Theres nothing grumpy about it at all, its very nice 😂

I don’t think there’s any suggestion it’s with her family as well. All the OP has said is it’s with her team. She’s likely doing a family thing another day.

Good grief there are some right grumpy feckers on here. And self indulgent to want to celebrate your birthday with colleagues...? WTF?

Don't go if you don't want to, no-one is forcing you. As has been said it's an invitation not a summons! It's just a woman turning 50 who is asking her colleagues if she will come out for a meal with her to help her celebrate.

Maybe she has no other friends, maybe her husband is one of those men that doesn't do much for big birthdays, and is nonchalant about it, maybe she has young adult children who don't give a shite and haven't even got her a card. I see loads of threads on here about shit like this.

Is she really such a monster to be asking people to come out for a meal with her to celebrate her birthday? In OH MY GOD - their own time?!😱

You can hardly go in bloody works time can you? You'll be working.

I'd go. I love a good celebration, and a meal out!

Oh my days there are some right miseries on here!

I treat my team to lunch twice a year. But we go during the work day. I wouldn’t want to do it outside of work time.

I like my colleagues and happily spend a weekend away with them on a team outing - but spending my Sat night at their b’day surrounded by their family? Nah thanks.

Yeah thats what people always say when trying to manipulate others
Selfish/ miserable etc

I would politely decline
End of

It's their 'honesty' that is the miserable thing!

Same. I would probably not go, as I'm not one for making friends with colleagues, but I certainly wouldn't get in a huff about it. An invite is fundamentally a nice thing - getting one is much better than not being invited anywhere.

Its my choice but also in 40 years of working all big birthday / event type things in work have been celebrated in the workplace
As before a small lunch/ buffet would be arranged by others not the person whos birthday it is
I dont think people are being miserable just honest
I would find it odd

Of course it's self-indulgent, it's a birthday they are quite literally about indulging ones self and having one person celebrated!

Perhaps she thinks of you all more highly than you think of your colleagues. Perhaps she'd like to see you out of work and get to know each other as friends. Perhaps she finds WFH a bit lonely and misses the comradery of office life and friendships?

A Saturday is a bit irritating I guess. But I think it's lovely to be invited to a nice lunch. I WFH in a small team, when we have special birthdays we meet up for a lunch on a work day and have an extra long 'work' lunch and it's really lovely.

Don't go if you don't want to but there's no need to be mean and miserable about it. Be pleased you were invited, wish her a happy birthday but just say you are too busy with family on a Saturday. Suggested something on a work day if you want to save face.