Hi all,
I'm posting here because I genuinely don't know who else to ask. I've been with my DH for 12 years and we have two DC. Since my second birth (which was quite traumatic and involved forceps), I've noticed that things look different down there. One side is noticeably longer than the other now, and there's some scarring that never quite healed flat.
I know this sounds vain, but it's really affecting how I feel during sex. I can't relax because I'm constantly wondering what he's thinking. He's never said anything negative — in fact he says he hasn't even noticed — but I can't shake the feeling that he's just being kind. We've gone from having sex twice a week to maybe once a month because I keep making excuses.
I've been googling labiaplasty, which I never thought I'd say, but the thought of surgery down there terrifies me. I had a bad tear with my first and the recovery was awful. I don't think I could go through anything like that again by choice.
Has anyone else struggled with this after birth? Does the appearance improve over time or is this just how it is now? Did anyone actually go ahead with surgery and was it worth it? Or did anyone find a way to just accept it and move on?
I feel ridiculous writing this out. There are women dealing with prolapse and incontinence and I'm worried about how things look. But it's really getting me down and I don't know how to talk to anyone about it.
Sorry for the overshare.
Thanks