To think you don’t always need to cut your nose off to spite your face?

56 replies

asbigasyourhead · 07/09/2026 22:32

I know that it’s obviously a good thing to have very staunch morals, but sometimes I feel people take it too far.

A couple of recent examples I’ve encountered:

We were recently on a reasonably long walk with mother in law. At the end of the walk she was visibly shaky and looked unwell. She said she probably needed something sweet and she felt like her blood sugars were a little low. We went to the snack van thing and they only had KitKats as a chocolate bar option. She point blank refused to buy one as it’s made by Nestle and she won’t support them.

Ordinarily i fully support her on this and think it’s good for her to stand up to a company she doesn’t support. But in this instance I thought she was bonkers. She felt unwell and it was her only option. I offered to buy it (so she herself wasn’t supporting them) and she declined. She then went very dizzy and had to sit down for ages and still refused. Eventually father in law remembered he had a can of pop in the car so she drank that and felt better but it was still quite an ordeal and she was still visibly unwell.

A second was a family friend who has refused to take her children to Universal as there is Harry Potter there and she doesn’t want to support JK Rowling. (As an aside, I don’t want to derail this into a thread over whether we should or shouldn’t support Rowling!). Her children are devastated and are begging to go but she’s point blank refused.

Let’s be honest, the visit one family of four make to a multi million pound theme park isn’t going to make a shite of difference. If she was so bothered they could avoid the HP section but she’s refusing to let her kids go to any of it in case Rowling gets any money.

Im sure i’ll think of others but it just seems like sometimes people will get so hammered down on something that they refuse to take the blinkers off and see the bigger picture.

i totally get that its good to have strong morals and something to stand for, but there’s times where you have to think outside of that and consider your individual needs rather than what is best in a completely ideal world! AIBU?

OP posts:

INeedAPensieve · 09/09/2026 10:54

I know you didn't want to get into this, and I promise I won't start a back and forth, but it makes me so sad that other women think that women's rights to single sex care without males (regardless of their self identified 'gender') is something to boycott. As that's what Rowling's stance is. She has trans friends; she isn't being personal, it's to protect women (and children) from predatory men. For 98/99% of sexual assaults (including rape) the perpetrators are male, over 80% of victims female (official ons govt stats). The supreme court has clarified that women's rights and rights to equality are based on our biological sex.

Exclusion of males is necessary to protect women in certain understandable circumstances. Such as in domestic violence refuges, rape crisis centres, prisons and also in changing rooms - basically anywhere women need to be in a state of undress or are vulnerable. I genuinely do not understand women who disagree with this position. Male violence and sexual assault is not our problem to solve; if those males who identify as women-gender don't like using facilities that match their sex then it's up to other men to accept them, not for us to budge up. Particularly in the most vulnerable situations (as listed above).

Also, to answer your post - I think your mil stuck to her principles to the detriment of her health, so perhaps in this occasion she should have accepted the chocolate. I definitely don't agree with those who refuse blood transfusions of family members and they then die. It's just so...pointless ..

BunkBedsArePeopleShelves · 09/09/2026 11:14

Hollande · 09/09/2026 10:27

Ah. I see. Forgive me if I completely disregard your argument then.

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Feel free. If you're saying you respect/admire all principles no matter how Illogical, irrational and downright dangerous for others, I expect no less.

Hollande · 09/09/2026 12:19

BunkBedsArePeopleShelves · 09/09/2026 11:14

Feel free. If you're saying you respect/admire all principles no matter how Illogical, irrational and downright dangerous for others, I expect no less.

Edited

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I haven’t said that at all. Agreeing with someone’s principles and acknowledging their right to adhere to them are different things.

You’d like this to be about whether your opinion is better than someone else’s - but it’s immaterial to other’s principles.

BunkBedsArePeopleShelves · 09/09/2026 15:41

I don't think you quite followed what you were responding to.

Sunbringer · 09/09/2026 15:43

I’d start carrying around some sweets tbh. In case that happens again. Is she diabetic? She needs to keep some on hand.

I think a principle is a principle and if they caved then clearly they don’t believe it that strongly. Hence why I have no such principles…

ohfook · 09/09/2026 16:15

I boycott a few things I don’t agree with and it’s not about changing the company. I know my couple of pounds on kitkats won’t make any difference. It’s about not letting it change me - there are things I don’t want to turn a blind eye to and ignore in the world. So I’m inclined to think good on them especially because I’ve faltered when I’ve been under pressure from the kids before and I regret it now.

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