DS17 wants to skip school day for UCAT. AIBU to say no??

It sounds like your DS has his priorities right and is very mature and sensible, as well as very bright and hardworking. He’s got his priorities right. An extra day preparing for the UCAT will make a bigger difference to his university prospects than a few missed A level classes.

An adult preparing for a professional exam would probably take a day off work to revise. Why can’t he do the same?

I’m guessing he has chosen Wednesday rather than the day before the exam because most schools have sports on Wednesday afternoon. Another sensible choice, if so.

If it’s the lying you are concerned about, I see your point. I am sure that his teachers will be supportive of him taking a day to study for the UCAT. I suspect lying might actually make the school’s life easier from an administrative perspective if they can’t authorise an absence for study leave. Besides, he can tell the truth, he’s anxious about the UCAT. Mental health is as important as physical health.

As a PP said, it’s not your choice or responsibility anyway. Sixth formers can manage their own absences.

He's 17 & asking mum's permission to skip a day of school for something that's really important to him? You need to let go of the reins a bit or he'll go off the rails when he starts uni & moves away from parental control.

You book a slot at a test centre. Often little choice but a Wednesday seems very sensible as it’s usually a half day in sixth form (sport fixtures in afternoon)

My DD’s grammar sixth form were ridiculous about attendance. She sat LNAT and I called out of courtesy to let them know and they didn’t know what it was and were really awkward. Another time they rang me to say she was absent and she was on an educational day trip abroad arranged through school. My fave was conversation late one afternoon. I said she’s told me she’s filled out the pink slip to notify you of uni open day attendance. Oh yes she has but it says open day is 9am tomorrow. I had to explain Queens Belfast was in NI and that it needed a flight to get there from England so yes that’s why not in her late afternoon lesson day before.

I would let him have the day but tell the school what you are doing and to contact you if they have any further questions.

Why lie?

Why would you lie to the school?

Tell them he’s taking the day off to prepare for the test.

If you said no, would he just go in to school?
Or do you mean stay off and tell the truth? Cos I'd let him stay off and tell the truth.

That's what I thought. He is over compulsory school age. I don't see why he wouldn't just tell them he is taking the day off and why. What practically can they do to him?

I’m amazed the school isn’t encouraging him to take the day to prepare.

DS took UCAT during the summer holidays but a number of his friends did it during term time and took a day to do final preparation.

A good UCAT score is essential just to get an interview.

No point getting A stars without one.

I would ‘allow’ a 4A*/ambitious/hardworking 17 year old have a day off for any reason! What value are you trying to teach him that he doesn’t already have?
He really shouldn’t need to ask for permission from you.

I would just tell the school the truth

He's not skiving though is he? I think he should just tell the school.

I'd let him. It's not like he wants the day off to do gaming. It's important.

I wouldn't lie

Isn't it kind of the point of his education up to this point and everything that he's been working towards? Let him have the day off.

UCAT trumps school for 1 day. Of course he should prepare. It’s utterly vital.

With things like this I always ask myself if it’s the sort of decision any adult might responsibly make for themselves. If so (and in this case I would suggest it is) I agree without hesitation. Especially as he’s shown himself to be responsible with prioritising his studies and there’s no chance he’s just trying to skive off.

School will let him take day as working from home for exam. It's no different to exam leave. He should ask school for day to prepare for test. No need to lie.

Do you have no idea how important this exam is, and how much preparation is needed? Your son is very sensibly prioritising this exam, you should of COURSE be supporting him. A 100% attendance certificate won’t get him into medical school, don’t be so silly.

He should be allowed the prep day and I would think the school probably agrees even if they aren't allowed to officially authorise it - they may be able to put it down as authorised. Schools are allowed to authorise absence for attending open days and interviews for the next stage of education and UCAT seems like the same category, or they could call it Study Leave which is also allowable. But even if it's unauthorised it's a sensible use of his time.

He sounds like a very bright and focused young adult so I think you should back off and allow him to do what he thinks is best. Tell him to ring the school and say he wont be coming in. Then both turn off your phones or block school for 24 hours. Deal with any fall out afterwards.

Ucat Is hugely important, and some courses are ridiculously difficult to get into without a brilliant score (even with amazing A levels) so I would definitely encourage him to put his all into this.

Give him the respect that at his age he knows what he needs to prepare.

In a year he’ll be away to Uni (hopefully) and making ALL his own decisions. Time to take a breath and start stepping back a bit OP.

@PoisedTiger ofcourse you should support him. He wants to do well and the preparation day will help him. He’ll blame you, if it goes wrong and you haven’t given him time to prepare.

If he’s planning to be a doctor he can self diagnose and take sick leave