Do people generally become irritable and miserable as they age?

I wouldn’t say I am more miserable but I am definitely less tolerant of people’s crap. I think that’s a normal part of aging - understanding how to say no, not having to accept being treated unfairly/badly because you don’t want to offend etc etc.

To add - it probably starts in your 40s as you become more secure in your views, confident, perhaps established in your career. Often mistaken for perimenopause but I would say it’s the ongoing maturing of the mind and character in response to life experiences.

No they don't. HTH.

My mother is 85. She’s been cold, critical and judgemental all her life so there’s no difference there. My 92 year old father was much better but unfortunately my awful mother’s behaviour has rubbed off a bit on him although he’s no where near as bad. I think as their lives get smaller the negativity is less diluted (ie spread over a number of things or people) so gets focussed on one person or thing. They can’t cope with change so even when we try to go to a different restaurant it promotes a barrage of ‘it’s not as good as x,y,z’ and moaning so we end up being stuck with the same 3 restaurants we always go to (we tend to have to take them out once a week). I have to steel myself when going to see them as two hours of negativity is too much to bear. I genuinely feel like a huge weight lifting as I leave and have even been known to skip to my car (I’m in my 60’s 😂😂😂)

Another fucking thread about how...........[fill in the negative stereotyping of your choice] older people are/ become.

More ageist shite.

Sooooooo much easier to generalise than have a thread title that says: I find my parents are more grumpy than they used to be. Lazy.

I’m very happy in my 60s
DM is 87 and having Alzheimer’s has made her very chilled as she really only lives in the moment, is very happy with simple things and very grateful to all of us who care for her
DF died at 94 still smiling despite a stroke
On the other hand I know a lot of grumpy people in their 50s and 60s who moan about everything and can never see the positives

ODFOD off with yet another ageist thread

Are you my doppelgänger?

@Lifeomars mind if I ask your age? I get tired now too only in 50s

@Gettingbysomehow how does he afford only three days a week?

I don’t think people get grumpy. I think we all have different life stages and age doesn’t really come into it with the things are going well or badly.

I was a very miserable cow in my forties. I am now in my sixties and am very happy and optimistic.

So no, I don’t think it necessarily follows.

Oh God yes. My son called me a toxic boomer the other day during a row as if everything I have has just landed on my lap out of thin air.
Ive worked bloody hard often 2 or 3 jobs at once for everything I have. Every single bloody thing built on hard work. Im about to collect my pension which I have saved and planned for since my 20s and he is pissed off because Ill retire comfortably. I was a single mum and have a nice house he will one day inherit without having to work for it.
The lazy sod works 3 days a week by choice he is 40. He is pissed off he doesnt have what I have but isnt prepared to put the work in like I did. I had nothing when he was born.
I worked for what I have and he was very comfortable. Im sick of this boomer crap. Othing I have has been come by easily. I did my degree when he was a baby. Working nights in nursing homes at every opportunity to pay for it with nobody to help me. I had a good career as a result.
I paid many ghousands for him to do his degree and he spent it all on drugs and the high life.
This is why Im bloody furious.

It's not inevitable! You don't have to become a miserable old git 😃

Im 66 and DH is 72 and I agree . DH has gone so miserable and critical of everything. When We were on a cruise last year there were somd issues yes - I would never go on that cruise line again - but he w ent on and on about it . Instead of making the best of it . So much so one night when he started i let out a huge sigh which started him off again ! It sucks the joy out of everything. I'm sure he wasnt always like this I think we were just too busy working and we had 6 sons to raise. Maybe some people are just better when they're busy !

I do believe my level of tolerance has declined. I also swear quite a bit ( I never used to) generally at inanimate objects 😂

Not in my experience, no. But this is Mumsnet, so everyone will probably agree with you.

I don't think its that people become change as such, but more that their tolerance for hiding it goes away.

E.g. if you were a happy friendly younger person, you aren't suddenly going to become a miserable old person.

I suspect that most grumpy older people were also grumpy younger people, they just had the energy and patience to hide that when they were younger. But when they get older they care far less about what people think, so the truth of how they always actually were comes out.

I think I am a bit quieter and more grumpy because like pp has said we're just fed up with people's shit.

Especially as women, we have given and given to everyone around us and always try to have a smile on her face and be pleasant regardless of how we were treated or how we feel
I'm just tired and have little tolerance for nonsense from other people anymore

This has not happened to my parents. They're in their 80s and are both really happy and positive. I don't get how this makes them "privileged" as the above poster says. It's just because they are lovely people!

I don’t get people calling this ageist, I think if you’re older and haven’t gotten crankier due to health issues, losing people you know, less money due to retirement, seeing your own family less then you’re in a position of huge privilege.

Agreed.

Ageism on MN. Again. Quelle surprise.

@drippingyethappy

Spot on. I completely agree. Very well put.

This.

I was that lovely 'girl/woman' who had a spring in my step, liked people, was happy with many things, the listener, smiler, the sweetie who would put others first. I enjoyed being this way.

Now not so much. I'm only 52, have sorted my finances, have a wonderful house, husband, teenagers who are really quite lovely... but internally, I'm a misery : (

The only reasons I can think of is that I can no longer exercise due to severe arthritis Or, that I hate people in the office reverting all conversations back to themselves all the fucking time.Or that I have it too easy now!

I had an extremely tough life and have finally got it to where I fought tooth and nail for. Do I feel this way because 'is this it?'. Have my tenacity and motivation gone? Or do I have time to reflect on the trauma I was exposed to for the first 26 years of my shitty life?

Sorry, this is me offloading because no bugger has ever listened to or helped me. I have all of 2 family members and 1 friend. That is it after being a glorified slave and giver.

But judging by others on this thread, you may not end up like me - to be a fed up grump who can no longer tolerate most people and who would be happy to vanish to a castle and never step foot out of it ever again.

All the best.

My mum was difficult through her menopause (coincided with my late teen years and early young adulthood, which I think was hard for her as she is anxious and has trouble letting go) and again during the last couple of years of my father’s life and first year after he passed (mainly the stress of first, being a carer and second, adjusting to life as a widow).

These days I find her much more chill and happy than either of those periods. My dad was always lovely and positive, even more so as he aged.

Yes yes - I hear you! 😃

I'm old and grumpy some of the time - I do try and rein it in, but that doesn't always work. Also doing my best to keep fit as theoretically that should help.

Yes.

It's one of the few redeeming aspects of getting older.

I’m 68. I do get irritable about being the subject of so many negative stereotypes.