Do people generally become irritable and miserable as they age?

I’m a very optimistic person, loads of energy but even I have age related bad days. Chronic pain, peri menopause, loads of shit happens as you get older.

I can well imagine in 15 years time as I hit my 70’s my bad days may outweigh the good and grumpy cuntiness is more of a persistent state.

Why would you look at the way that two people behave and assume from that that all people who share just one of their characteristics might be the same?

😂👏

I mean, I have at 45 🤣

Joking aside my DM and MIL are both very strident and defensive to everything. My DF, D Step F and FIL are much more chill.

My mother has always been an in middle of things kind of person, and rarely get fussed about anything. She’s lucky to have good health, apart from failing eyesight and hearing, so at nearly 91 she does all her own washing, ironing, cleaning, shopping and cooking, as well as the garden, including her own grass. She doesn’t drive but is lucky enough to have most of what she needs in her large village and does very nicely with a little support.
She claims keeping on keeping on is key. Once you stop the rot sets. I watch carefully, but she’s determined.

My dad had very poor health for the last few years of his life and was in a lot of pain. He became frettier and worried a lot more about total non-issues, but he never became grumpy or miserable at all. He continued to see the good in everything and everyone (with a few obvious political exceptions) until he died aged 83.

My mum is pretty negative but I don't really remember a time when she wasn't. I try hard to model my dad's attitude to things.

I feel this is going to be me, once I get through the menopause. I'm about to turn 55, although I'm still riding my bike everywhere, I'm nowhere near as energetic as I was , but compared to my friends, I'm doing ok-ish.

You have to take your wins where you find them, and we are still here , which is a privilege of sorts 🤞

It could be me writing this..I feel exactly the same.

My DH is much more inclined to go on about things now than he used to be. Not sure if I am or not.

That. It's about five minutes since the last, almost identical OP.

But obviously I'm only irritated because I'm old.

I think men get more miserable and irritable than women, moreso than women.....

Runs and hides. 🏃 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Seriously though, I am not grumpy and miserable, but I have less tolerance for young children screeching, loud voices, barking dogs, and loud music (and loud people!) I mean, none of this is great really is it, but as I have got older I am more irritated than I used to be by certain things...... But I am not a grumpy, moany person.

And yeah, as has been said, I do have less tolerance for peoples shit too, and don't take shit like I used to. I have no hesitation in blocking and ghosting people who fuck me off and do wrong by me/upset me.

Oddly, even The Simpsons TV show irritates me now. Used to love it for many years, but for the last 10 or so years, I have low tolerance for all the screeching and shouting in it and general loudness of it. I also feel my hackles rising when DH puts anything on like The A Team, or something 'action packed' and loud with lots of shooting and noise and booming thumpy soundtrack - not just music, but very loud soundtrack...

I live in a quiet rural village now, and it's quiet 90% of the time, not many people are around, and the village is not a route to anywhere, (it's kind of a dead end,) so people only come here if they live here.

I could never live in a town or city or suburb again. Couldn't stand the noise, all the people, and all the traffic. Love the peace and tranquillity out here.

.

Well, I haven’t. I think life needs to be about finding the light, the laughter, and the joy. 🤷‍♀️

Life can be a bitch, but you have to get on with it all.

But, other older people won’t see it that way.

And, to be fair, there are a lot of younger people moaning, groaning, navel gazing, and needing counselling for anything at all. . 🤷‍♀️

My fairly fierce grandma mellowed a lot with age. To be fair she had a lot to contend with in life and I think her retirement was probably her happiest time since her early 20s.

A lot of men seem to get grumpier but not all. With proper old age, people’s stress threshold seems to plummet and things that wouldn’t have fazed them at 65 are sources of great stress at 80. Not universally of course.

I am 45 and very miserable 😂🙈 I am so bored with going out, doing things, people. Much prefer my
own space and being at home. I do try and make an effort for my dc but as I’ve got older and developed health issues I’ve just got no patience anymore, i suspect that’s the case with a lot of people older than me.

You have to work sooo hard not to be a bitter and twisted old wind bag and similar to hitting the middle age weight gain, you have to work twice as hard to achieve half as much. It's wearing 😩.

I'm nearly 70 but have a generally sunny disposition. I love a good laugh and try to make the best of everything, even though my life isn't the easiest. But yes, I do think age naturally has a huge bearing. For a start, your health generally starts to decline on some level. You're usually living with aches and pains you didn't know even existed and things are generally falling apart, like eyesight, bladder control and hearing. You become more aware of your own mortality too. You realise that you've lived more years on this earth than you have left. And you do become less inclined to smile, put a brave face on it and put up with crap just to make everyone else feel comfortable. You've spent years doing that. Making allowances for other people, caring for them, reaching compromises and putting yourself last (especially if you're a woman). So at the latter end of it all, you aren't inclined to be so accommodating.

I have always looked forward to the I shall wear purple phase
Not quite got there yet I think!
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C48L7fMisbo/?hl=en-gb
But I find myself increasingly irritated by things like the tab coming off when opening milk, or easy peel fruit not being easy
Also find myself getting stroppy about pointless stuff like crap stuff on tv

so I am getting there
Must buy some purple stuff

I'd say it's a shift that's more likely to happen later life but it depends on health, finances and activity levels really. It's quite common for life to get smaller as work stops and social engagements decline, so things you previously didn't have headspace to get annoyed about become more noticeable. Add into that a drop in mobility and a decline in health and I think it's understandable that one is a bit grumpy at times.

He’ll no! She has alcoholic dementia and a severe uterine prolapse which is severe because she refuses to follow any advice or accept treatment from Drs. This is not an old age thing she’s always refused treatment until she’s been in a position she where events have overtaken themselves. It’s basically him looking after her. If it wasn’t for the carers and my Dad she lay in bed all day other than than occasional forays to go and get alcohol.

Thing is if she wasn’t an alcoholic she would actually be fine to do all the cooking and cleaning etc but not now with the state she’s in which is all self inflicted.

Is your mother still doing the household chores, cooking, cleaning, looking after him at the age of 85?

I hope he still isn't living at home

you mean you are fed up, where’s the we in all this!

Personally op (although I’m only 54) I’d say I’m more cheery and less inclined to be a martyr with the resentment that brings as I’m more emotionally intelligent now. I think what does skew things is when people are in pain, that does make it hard to be positive and I suppose that maybe applies to older people more?

im not sure people change that much though, it’s always been a trait I’d say not a new thing.

resentment is a terrible thing and makes us miserable and malcontent. There’s a reason the adage about choosing guilt over resentment rings so true.

Constant pain and exhaustion make people irritable. I get that but I have also notice a tendency to descend into a sort of second toddlerhood in old age. Very stubborn but impractical with zero understanding of other people.

Just had DFiL with us for two weeks. He has a very restricted diet, and I made a massive effort to make delicious food that fitted his diet every day. He asked every single time: "I can't eat that, can I?" His verdict on everything: "It's all right I suppose," while going on and on about this amazing friend who invited him to lunch and made everything specially so he could eat it. Er, like I have been doing for two bloody weeks. But friend is an angel.

Older people are as individual as younger people.

As someone said, they just stop bothering to hide it because they become more comfortable with who they are and less interested in what others think of them.

I'm in my 50s and my partner is in his 60s. Our friends/people we know are 30s - 70s. His mum is 90. My parents are not around.

Some of them are insufferable regardless of age. Some of them are lovely. Some are vibrant and full of life; some are miserable fuckers who barely leave the house. Some have nothing good to say about 'the younger generations; some work with them and love them. Some are all doom and gloom; others see life as a neverending adventure.

It doesn't seem to be impacted by educational attainment; socio-economic status; health; marital status etc eithe - some of the most miserable people I know are the wealthiest and some of the happiest are the poorest aside from how hard or easy life is. It's a mindset.

Some people look for joy and others look for misery. Seek and ye shall find.

Yes, my dad used to be an extremely upbeat and optimistic person and still is about his own life, the things he does. But he’s become judgemental and intolerant (not in a racist way, just generally critical of other people in town etc) . It makes me sad to witness and I am determined not to be this person. He’s in his early 70s and I would say the change started over the age of 65.