AIBU to question preschool after inconsistent explanation for toddler's scratch?

OP is asking a question because the explanation doesn't sit quite right with her. She isn't saying that the nursery staff are sharpening their nails to claw at the faces of the young. It may just be the way the info was communicated was poor.

Both my kids have been in nursery from 10 months to 4.

OP you must be aware these things happen. My two have been bitten and hit by other kids, my son fell off a stool and needed stitches (his key worker was devastated!) and my daughter dragged her hand across a wall which scabbed over on a walk.

I question these things, review the incident form and then move the hell on - kids get injured. Accidents happen.

I gave my toddler a lovely facial scratch with a rather glamorous belt buckle once.

Are you suggesting a member of staff deliberately scratched your child?

Never?????

I don't believe this. You've never bumped into a child. Or dropped a coat / book / toy that touched a child. Or tossed a toy into a toy box which caught a child's hand. Or tripped over a little one who appeared from nowhere.

Because if nothing like that has ever happened you must be superwoman. Children / schools are minor injury conflict zones. In the same way they're infection zones (coughs, colds, tummy bugs, warts, germs).

It's part and parcel of being one of loads of kids in a confined space.

That's a load of rubbish.
It's easy to bump into kids because they are small, don't watch where they're going and move around a lot.

Unfortunately there are a lot of Mumsnetters very quick to condemn someone as overreacting without understanding the wider picture.

The top way to keep children safe is don't trust everyone and make sure you ask questions.

Your child hasn’t been injured - it’s a scratch

It’s a scratch. It’s fine.
they are good to update you at lunchtime!!! Do you need updates every few hours?? Seems extreme to me, this is a huge overreaction.

You're saying you get this but then go on to say we don't ever accidentally injure the kids.
Accidents are just that, unplanned. I doubt the examples this poster gives were done intentionally and you can see the list earlier where I have put similar about standing on fingers and so on.
I think it's quite easy for things to happen that aren't expected. If it was something big that happened then they would have spoken to you about it in detail (I had forgotten but we also had a flip chart fall on a child and the teacher spoke to the parents at the end of the day alongside giving them the accident form).

What a load of rubbish! It's not being normalised at all. Schools now have to tell parents every little thing that happens to their children, when I was at school a scratch wouldn't have even been mentioned! I also doubt none of you ever injure or hurt the kids accidentally. I keep my nails short, but there are still times when I've accidentally scratched my kids, stood on their foot, knocked something onto them, and I only have three. I imagine in a busy nursery with ecited people it must happen more. You really are overreacting, it's ridiculous.

There are many many welfare requirement notices issued to nurseries that are not publicly available for parents to see. There have been issues of neglect and abuse in nurseries. There have also been deaths in nurseries. In pretty much all cases, there were prior warnings signs and concerns raised.

If anything doesn't feel right to you, you are entitled to ask questions. That could be done as simply as an email to say "my dc came back with a scratch on her first day - please can you spare a few minutes to chat to me and clarify what happened so I fully understand." Easy.

What do you mean why is it so easy? You literally said in an earlier post that you’ve scratched your own children accidentally before. So you know how easy it can be.

I am glad you agree because that is likely a very good explanation. These things happen. I have been moving my hand at the same time as A child moved and scratched them. I have very short nails but they have soft skin and if it catches a certain angle then there's a little scratch. I don't think this is a hill worth dying on. The preschool are much less likely to believe you when there may be a genuine problem and think, "Uh oh, there they go again!".

Save your stress and 'scenes' for real problems.

Nobody sets out to accidentally hurt a kid and it’s quite likely you and your colleagues have accidentally hurt many children but you just don’t know about it because understandably nobody (the parents or children) thinks it’s a big deal and probably doesn’t even notice it and it’s not something people even think reportable-worthy. A lovely student came running round the corner of the corridor at full speed today without looking and bashed into me quite hard. I just got a “So sorry Miss!” Before he ran off again. He probably got a small bruise or scratch from the impact but he’s not reporting me! For what?!

And it’s not becoming more prevalent or normalised. Quite the opposite. In fact poor schools and nurseries are having to be hyper vigilant and incident log or tell parents about everything for completely normal, insignificant incidents that are just the swings and arrows of going through life as a child in a building with people. Even so much as ten years ago, nobody would care about this whereas nowadays Mumsnet is full of parents handwringing about stuff like this. When I was younger, no parent would be slightly bothered if their child came home with cuts or scrapes doing normal children things or having normal interactions with others. I’d be mortified if some poor nursery worker was ringing me up to tell me my toddler bumped into her. I wouldn’t care about anything less than his limb hanging off! He’s a kid. Kids are meant to get bumped. That’s being a kid.

The scratch itself isn't an issue. Your child is going to get bruises and scratches weekly in the preschool or nursery setting. It's basically a room full of small people who have a tragically underdeveloped sense of empathy and consideration for others.

The illiteracy or the obfuscation of the circumstances by the author of the report is a problem.

Nursery staff shouldn't have nails long enough to scratch a child accidentally. Nor should they wear jewellery with prominent stones or sharp points (engagement rings, for example), or clothing or footwear with sharp studs.

Inability to write a literate report using standard English, that accurately conveys the facts of any given incident goes with the territory 90% of the time.

I'd ask the nursery if there are rules about nail length or jewellery and if not why not, as preschool age children are very physical/ move around, lose their balance, knock each other over, and are bound to bump into staff occasionally too, or need quick restraining by staff.

This isn’t normal and healthy concern. Your husband is fuming and you want more detailed answers. You are both bonkers.

This. Get a grip for Christ's sake. If this is all it takes to concern you, you're about to have a couple of decades of extremely high blood pressure.

I’ve caught my own kids and other people’s kids (I am a Girlguiding leader so often surrounded by 4-7yos who just randomly appear out of nowhere) with my hand before and my nail has scratched them slightly. It happens so quickly that I probably couldn’t set out exactly what happened either, but it’s easily done if one appears behind you when you are turning round.

Gently, I wouldn't give this another second of thought. I picked up DD2 once when she was 3 and they were very apologetic (and baffled) as she had a red mark on her head and no one had any idea where it had come from, she hadn’t cried or remarked on it, and even asking her she had no idea where it came from 🤷‍♀️ Sometimes these things just happen.

I remember when a little boy took a large bite of DD’s arm in play school, she was so tiny and vulnerable. I wanted to bite the little savage back, I didn’t. She’s nearly 18 now, no longterm harm.

You have yourself provided the evidence on this thread that you are a nit-picky parent and you are forensically investigating it by dissecting the language used by staff in person and on the app. I have drawn no inferences. The only opinion I have on the matter is based on the information you have provided. Yet, despite the language you have used, you think the incident worthy of opinions from strangers.

Not one poster has said you should pursue either of your suggested options - withdrawing her from the setting or waiting for a more detailed explanation.

Both you and your husband sound like people who thrive off conflict and making people feel intimidated and small. What has happened to your child today is really a non-issue. An accident. Nobody needs to go on trial to explain how this minuscule scratch appeared on your child’s face. It was an accident and as much as you are not sending your child in to get injured, the staff aren’t going in to work intending to scratch children.