AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

Other room of your choice is available. It’s not about dog hating. There are many reasons why having the dog around makes things difficult for guests - allergies, young children, lack of space, mobility issues. Putting the dog away ensures the comfort of your guests which is part of being a good host. If you won’t do that, you don’t get to host.

The 'my dogs live here and come before any visiting guests' posters are usually the ones who let them lick leftovers directly from owners plates, have them perched on customers chairs in cafes, and are frequently heard parroting 'he's just saying hello and being friendly!' As their out of control dog jumps up at everyone on walkies .

My auntie was killed by her son-in-law's 'friendly' dog when visiting. Enough said!

We haven’t got a utility room. And we don’t have people who can’t cope with having a dog in the same room in the house. Intolerance is a two way street - it’s not dog haters’ prerogative. People like you need to get a grip too.

'OP isn’t wrong for not wanting to go, but the dog owners aren’t wrong either for not wanting to leave their dogs'

Well then they need to stay at home. To have 10 dogs in a house at Christmas is ridiculous. Honestly I'm a considerate sensible dog owners and the entitled silly behaviour of some never ceases to amaze me.

I’ve been in a similar position. The problem is that with great big smelly dogs all over the furniture and more people in the house, there’s no where safe to sit. There’s either a dog getting hair all over a chair or a dog putting their slobbery face all over you because it wants to get on the chair you’re sat on. I am a dog lover but it’s gross. In the end I just told my husband and as the years have gone on, dogs (and people 🥲) have died, so it’s more tolerable. But I really don’t blame you for not going.

And there is one in the wild! What is so problematic about your dog snoozing in the utility room with the door shut while guests are here? People like you really do need to get a grip!

No one needs to do anything just because you say so Gloriia.

To put 10 dogs in a room would be cruel and silly.

They need to be left at home. Obviously if the mil does host she can't but then she needs to put her dogs in a different if guests aren't keen.

It’s not basic manners. Our dogs live here, visitors know they live here and I’m not going to shut them away for anyone. If our guests don’t like them it’s tough. Don’t visit us.

I can’t help how many times people have let their dogs sniff my child who is absolutely terrified of dogs, and even chase me and my child. Most of the time they offer up a weak ‘the dog won’t hurt you’, and act like there is something wrong with my child for not wanting a dog all over her. I wouldn’t go to a house where dogs were roaming free.
On the other hand, I have friends who are responsible dog owners and respect the fact that not everyone likes dogs.

OP isn’t wrong for not wanting to go, but the dog owners aren’t wrong either for not wanting to leave their dogs.

Those visiting should leave their dogs at home. We have a well trained dog but she still stays at home if we go to people's houses. Those hosting should walk and feed their dog, obviously, then stick it in a room away from guests,
It's basic manners but so many owners are lacking.

I'd stick to your idea of hosting on Christmas eve or boxing day make it clear without all their dogs and if they don't come fine!

So many dog people seem to find that an unacceptable request I have learnt. They usually say things like “it’s the dogs home too” or “it’s mean to leave them out” or some other ridiculous sentiment as if a dog has any concept. Not all - and some are happy to do, they are usually the more easy going dog owners in general but there is a section of dog people who just refuse to do this.

I don’t think shutting 10 dogs in a room would work though really - how could you be sure they weren’t destroying everything or getting into fights and how on earth would you manage the toileting?

Honestly I think you are extreme. What is the issue with the dogs exactly? Can’t they be shut in another room for a while whilst you visit? I think it’s strange to be so insistent that this is a deal breaker for you. Unless the dogs are aggressive in which case you are completely reasonable. I am assuming they are family dogs and therefore somewhat trained and live in family settings so are used to having people around.

It's always been cruel to leave dogs alone for extended periods. This isn't a new thing. Generally 4 hours each day is the limit advised by professionals, that hasn't changed in the decades I've been a dog owner. In fact, I can remember my Aunt and Uncle staying for only about 4 hours for Christmas lunch in the 70s because they had to get back for the dog. It's not new advice, nor has it suddenly become cruel to leave dogs alone, it's always been so. Perhaps there are less irresponsible/neglectful owners now?

When were we discussing a dog attacking a child? I'm talking about people throwing a tantrum because I've politely declined an inviation because it's incompatible with my existing responsibilities to my dog. It's absolutely fine to not want to be around my dog, but the consequence of that os that I'll have to decline certain events, which I fully accept as part and patcel of having a dog. What is absolutely unacceptable though is people getting pissy about that and demanding that I do things that would be distressing to my dog like leaving her for extended periods or kenelling her so that I can attend rather than simply accepting that I can't come.

I don’t mind dogs, I’ve had my own over the years but when did dogs become incapable of being left at home for a few hours? They now seem to be treated like children and have to be taken everywhere.
Also, why do some dog people take it so personally if others say they’d rather not have their dog visit?

I agree. I really don’t think I’m ‘throwing a tantrum’ when I object to a dog attacking my child.

It would only work if all dogs were on a short lead but these don’t sound like the sort of owners to do that - they sound like the sort of people to say it’s “not fair” on the dogs or some other nonsense

It really isn’t!! 10 poorly behaved over excited dogs on a walk having been cooped up all Xmas equals either dragging their owners about on lead or completely out of control off lead
no thank you

Leaving the dogs for an hour to go for a drink, yes.

10 dogs on a walk, no. They'd be under your feet all the time, tripping everyone over. Someone would probably end up in A&E. Nope.

That’s the perfect solution !!

Suggest a Boxing Day walk where they can all be outside and burnofc Xmas dinner!

10 dogs with kids in the mix too. No thank you. Ive been to parties at my brother's with 3. 1 small and 2 large. It doesn't work that well, dogs get trod on and I personally can't think its a good idea. Certainly not fun and festive.
You've offered alternatives. The dogs have no idea its xmas. The kids however do. Its a shame the adults with dogs won't move on what they want to see their child relatives.
Could you suggest a country walk and pub thing? If they won't come to yours? Easier to manage the dogs in that way.

Sounds like heaven to me! I'd be sat playing with dogs rather than making small talk with family the whole time 😆