AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

We don't.

Yes you can! The presence of dogs is not the default. It’s a 100% agreement situation and a treat for the dog owner. What if a family member had an allergy? Would you just tell them it’s tough sorry I guess we won’t see you at Christmas. Dogs are not family!

I'm not saying it is. I've clearly said, multiple times, that I leave my dog for up to 4 hours. But that's my limit. Anything longer would be cruel, agreed on and advised by highly trained animal professionals.

I have a resuce who has in the past suffered terribly with separation anxiety, she has got better thankfully and although she isn’t a fan of us leaving her is no longer so distressed (we are actually on holiday at the moment and she is home with my daughter with her adaption collar and calming supplements and doing fine) but I totally feel for you here as it’s so horrible to see when they are so damaged from
their past trauma ❤️

Because she's a (extremely well trained) chihuahua, and its not something possible to train into her due to breed characteristics. She can be left alone for up to 4 hours, which was a huge feat of training, but by nature it's just not possible to train her to be shut away from everyone without getting distressed. Oh, and she doesn't smell either, and neither does our house (another breed characteristic!).

Honestly, she's an amazingly trained dog, and we're frequently complimented on it.

If you don't want to be around dogs you don't want to be around dogs. Nothing unreasonable about that.
It's also not unreasonable that they want to have their dogs with them.
If that means you don't see them then you have to accept that.

Leaving your dog for a few hours to pop to Nana's for Xmas lunch is not cruel. Don't be daft.

Dragging poor Fido to an unfamiliar house with 9 other dogs is probably a lot more overstimulated and frightening.

They are dogs. Not humans

Then the dog owner doesn't get to "throw a tantrum" if people decline an invitation 🙄

Well then get onto a behaviourist and do some training (if its not too late).

If your dog can't be left in a room for a few hours with a Kong without getting scared- you have failed as a responsible owner.

My 12 week old puppy goes in her crate from 7pm - 6am with just a midnight toilet break and is currently chasing her own tail and playing with a puzzle feeder outside without being scared.

I’d love my dog to be able to spend an hour or so alone. That’d mean he was over the horrific abuse dished out to him by humans before I got him.

You can’t ban all the dogs because of one person not liking them, that’s mental 🤣

It's not putting dogs before family. It's being a responsible dog owner, not being cruel, and accepting that my meet ups with people who don't like dogs need to happen in a different way, such as in a dog free venue located somewhere that I can attend without leaving my dog for extended periods of time (longer than 4 hours).

Why haven’t you trained your dog to be okay with being left by themselves for a while? Other people manage it perfectly fine and then they don’t have all this drama.

It’s fine not to want to visit a house that has dogs living there, fine not to invite dogs to your home, fine to have your opinions on how many dogs are acceptable/whether they should be allowed on furniture/and if taking them to a dog friendly cafe equals the eating them like children. It’s not fine to think your opinions are the only ones that count. If people prefer their dog’s company over yours, don’t blame them - have a look at yourselves.

If I shut my dog away in a room, she wouldn't snooze! She'd be extremely scared and distressed, cry continuously, scrabble at the door to get out and probably soil herself from fear. I'm not doing that. People are perfectly entitled to decline invitations to my house, they are not entitled to insist I cause distress to my dog for their convenience.

Sounds perfect to me but I have 2 large dogs and prefer dogs to the majority of humans. I wouldn’t take my dogs to a large gathering as they wouldn’t enjoy it but we arrange our Christmas plans around our dogs too so we visit family and then make sure we are home for the majority of the time with. I also have a horse to consider so can’t be spending the whole day set around a family members house leaving my animals without being properly cared for.

If you don’t like dogs I think it’s fair to decline spending it with them but that is your choice - as it is your family’s choice to have their dogs with them at Christmas.

Seriously- you put your dog before family?? The world is going crazy.

As a dog lover, I agree. Yes, the dog lives here and we treat him as if he is royalty. But if we want people to visit us and feel comfortable we have to accept we have to modify our behaviour while they’re here.

It'll be at Christmas. Family like to be together and they shouldn't have to decline because of stupid people thinking 10 dogs in one house is ok.

Family should come before dogs, but also again as I keep on saying the welfare of dogs is important and having 10 in one house is not nice for them. They like their own space and some quiet time. Obviously you'd think but here we are.

I adore dogs. Honest, I am a bit batshit about them.

Dogs need to stay at home at Christmas time. There is just too much going on. As for 10 poorly behaved mutts in one place - that is a recipe for disaster, or at the very least a very stressful Xmas.

HARD nope from me. Your ILs are BONKERS

So agree - I have openly heard them say that it gives them an excuse to leave things (if I respected it as an excuse of course!)

You are so annoying! That’s just not true. It is about a family Christmas which means that’s the views of all family members need to be considered to ensure everyone has a comfortable and enjoyable day. The homeowner allowing 10 dogs when they know someone is uncomfortable with that is exactly the same as a host who refuses to cater to their vegetarian sister in law. It’s just not kind!

I swear some people get dogs because it gives them a reason to be contrary and difficult. I’ve never seen it with other pets, where suddenly the animal is the centre of the universe and everyone else can naff off if they don’t agree. It’s hostile.
Pets don’t last forever but fractured family relationships from people coming second to an animal probably won’t ever recover.

That's not up to you. It's up to the home owner to decide if dogs are welcome or not. If they are welcome, and OP doesn't like that, then she has the choice to politely decline.

'And we don’t have people who can’t cope with having a dog in the same room in the house'

The thread is about 10 dogs visiting. That a good idea do you think?!

If you're an experienced and responsible dog owner surely you can see it's a recipe for disaster plus not very kind. Dogs tend to like a bit of space and quiet. It's basic stuff.