AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

That's an awful lot of dogs. We one in our family who honestly the best behaved of all of us but he an only .ten is a pack. Yanbu.

It isn’t, you simply don’t go to their house. Why is this so complicated? Don’t like it, don’t go. That way, everyone is happy.

Exactly! Surely all of these ‘anxious’ dogs will be a hell of a lot more anxious being surrounded by another 9 dogs!

I can’t believe some of the comments on this thread! I have no issue with dogs but they are not humans and should not be prioritised over friends and family. To think otherwise is completely unhinged! I can’t imagine these people claiming they turn down invitations in case their dogs get a bit anxious have many friends. They must have pretty shit relationships with family too. I have a cat, she is my baby and is extremely spoiled but I would never put her before actual humans or decline invites. If people visiting me aren’t keen on cats or are allergic to them then I keep her away from them otherwise I’d be a shit host. Having someone’s out of control dog jump all over you is extremely irritating as is the phrase ‘If you just say hello to him, he’ll settle down’ What if I have no interest in ‘saying hello’ to your dog? Why is what Rover wants more important than my desire not to be scratched and slobbered over?

Yes but you've just said you don't take them to other people's homes so there's that at least

Hopefully you agree the ops scenario of 10 visiting dogs on Christmas day at mils would not be in the dogs best interests.

Perhaps don’t force your beliefs on others? And I don’t “tuck them up” with a chew, anywhere. And, like I said, if you’re in my house, you are with my dogs. Accept it or don’t come. Like pp said, no skin off my nose.

'Would I take all of them to someone else’s house? Absolutely not'

Good to hear! Tuck them up with a chew and don't force them on others.

Which is of course your prerogative. Your house, your rules. Same way as it is mine to say I simply don’t want to. Neither is “better”, just different. And, like I keep reiterating, it’s never been an issue for us, in more than 30 years of multiple dog ownership and probably monthly large events at my house.

How can you not see how rude YOU are, insisting that @mrsm43s runs her life according to your requirements? Her life, her choice, she’s not insisting you partake, in any way.

I agree with this. I understand if people say it’s too stressful for the dogs to be separated, or if they don’t’t have the space, but “simply don’t want to” imagine situation where friends or families have made a request is a pretty strong statement of where your priorities lie. I have two dogs. If someone asks, I will put them away. It’s no skin of my or their nose.

So you have basically essentially created a situation where you are completely unwilling to move an inch to support people in your life at important events. How can you now see how rude that is? I don’t believe there isn’t a single suitable dog care option for your dog

Of course I walk them! Tired dogs are good dogs. They are well exercised and very well trained. They don’t approach guests unless I allow it, I can and do “bed” them and they won’t move, they don’t beg for food or jump up. And, yes, I can easily put them in their space away from the rest of the house, they have everything they need there, but, they’d rather be with us and, as I said, I simply don’t want to, I’d rather they were with me. It’s my house and my choice. If you don’t want to be around dogs, don’t come, but, no one has ever refused.
Would I take all of them to someone else’s house? Absolutely not. Do I leave them for more than 4 hours? Also absolutely not. So, like a PP, I will decline those invitations. Just like people are free to decline invitations to my house. But don’t seem to 🤷‍♀️

Daycare, rover, housesitting or boarding are not suitable for my dog, and would cause her intense distress. I'm happy to decline events.

I don't dictate my dog must attend anywhere, nor dictate that anyone else must attend events at my house. I'm happy to decline events politely, and gracefully accept if others decline my invitations. What I object to is entitled Madams or Misters thinking they have the right to demand my presence as if they are my overlords and are entitled to summons me and order me around.

People are entitled to decline invitations for any reason and anyone not accepting a decline graciously is being really unpleasant. I don't exist for your entertainment or to serve you.

Ooh a loneliness jibe @Gloriia ? True to form!

We are dog lovers and have a dog friendly house as long as the dogs are well behaved, but that would be too many dogs for me lol. I'd keep saying No and have your own holiday traditions at home. Just refuse to discuss it anymore.

Oh well just have a nebuliser as well as loads of anti histamines silly. Ring 111 if any deterioration. Whatever you do remember dogs come first!

I bet some of these owners just have themselves and fido for company 24/7 so it's a moot point anyway.

I’d have some sympathy but your attitude on this thread makes that difficult.

@Gloriia why are you so certain that everything you say is a fact? In reality, you know nothing about how others treat their dogs and what their dogs enjoy. They’re not all the same and have different wants and needs. The majority of your comments are just thinly disguised digs at people who do things differently to you.

It doesn't have to be so dramatic as 'shutting them away' as if locking them in a cellar without food or water. Dogs like their beds, toys and chews. Once they've maybe said hello and had a pat it is perfectly kind to let them go to bed in another room particularly if guests aren't overly keen.

That's if you walk them and they're well exercised and stimulated so are tired? Some 'they're my babies' owners don't do theses basics so they think dogs running round jumping up at guests counts as exercise.

Doesn’t work like that I’m afraid. I can take a quadruple dose and still have an asthma attack and be quite unwell for several days afterwards. Dog people always refuse to accept it is not just hayfever

Agree with this. My dogs live here. I can shut them away, they have their own spaces and are very well trained, but I simply don’t want to. And funnily enough, no one has ever refused an invitation to my house! I regularly have 20+ guests and even with many multiple dogs, no one declines. That seems to be a MN thing rather than a real life thing.

What's with dog cages? We never had them when I grew up with dogs in the 1960s and 1970s.

If you're supporting the situation the op describes 10 dogs all in the same house then you're advocating a bit of poor treatment tbh. Dogs like their own space, their own territory. They don't want to be in packs in noisy get togethers just because their owners havent trained them to be alone sometimes.

If you can't or won't consider other people's feelings at least try to put the welfare of your dogs first.

Meh, take an antihistamine and show you care.

I have allergies - they make me extremely unwell. It wouldn’t be reasonable would it?

Guests are considered in as much as they can decline my invite without me whinging.