AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

You've hit the nail on the head. You lack respect for other people's situations and think only what you want matters. I'm glad you recognise that.

I’m not presuming anything, I just don’t respect it 🤷🏼‍♀️

"Why would you presume to know how other people experience their allergies?"

The same way that ppl presume to know how other people experience the relationship with their pet. 😘

Nope, it really isn’t weird. Fairly standard. You really aren’t the know it all you think you are.

My dog’s welfare is paramount to me, I understand his needs and realise there’s not a one size fits all solution. Now, why don’t you go and spend some time with your dog before tucking it up with chew behind a closed door for the rest of the day.

I know loads of people with well trained dogs. For example they are able to be left for short times, they are able to stay away from visitors if required, they don't howl if at home alone.

Not one stays immobile on its bed like a statue when someone enters a room until <checks notes> 'released' by the owner. That's really weird .

Dogs are inquisitive, they are usually friendly and like to say hello in their own environment. This is all normal behaviour

Anyway back to the op, people's feelings come before dogs and all dogs are happy in a bed a chew away from noise and chaos. Do try and put their welfare first.

Really? It’s fairly standard for well trained dogs. Perhaps you don’t know as much as you make out you do. Extraordinary!

Actually it does make a difference to the point where it is tolerable. It would be extremely limiting to never go anywhere that has had a dog so there is an element of suffering that needs to be endured. If the dog is shut in another room and the host has hoovered beforehand, it is manageable with strong antihistamines. It is not the case otherwise. Why would you presume to know how other people experience their allergies?

It’s not my will. It’s my medical need.

And actually most people don’t mind because most people have their priorities in order

'I don’t need to lock them away when tradesmen, or indeed anyone comes. I can place them in their beds and they stay there until I release them'

Wow, extraordinary! I've never known a dog stay on its bed until 'released', natural behaviour is to get up and greet visitors (calmly obviously) then be kept away from tradesmen/visitors depending on the visitors choice,.

'I don’t need to lock them away when tradesmen, or indeed anyone comes. I can place them in their beds and they stay there until I release them'

Wow, extraordinary! I've never known a dog stay on its bed until 'released', natural behaviour is to get up and greet visitors (calmly obviously) then be kept away from tradesmen/visitors depending on the visitors choice,.

It’s not my will. It’s my medical need.

And actually most people don’t mind because most people have their priorities in order

So in summary, you won't compromise, expecting everyone else to bend to your will.

Because increasingly the number of dog free places are few and far between. We’re just trying to exist in the world.

And because there are certain events, like Christmas for example, where they are centred around a person’s home.

And because you don’t always want to go out to a venue - there is intimacy in spending time at other people’s houses and them spending time at yours.

The issue is not the allergic person, or the person who doesn’t like dogs, it is the dog owner prioritising animals above people which is just wrong.

Because increasingly the number of dog free places are few and far between. We’re just trying to exist in the world.

And because there are certain events, like Christmas for example, where they are centred around a person’s home.

And because you don’t always want to go out to a venue - there is intimacy in spending time at other people’s houses and them spending time at yours.

The issue is not the allergic person, or the person who doesn’t like dogs, it is the dog owner prioritising animals above people which is just wrong.

They’re being polite - around 15% of the population have a dog or cat allergy. Obviously to varying degrees of severity.

But why not just meet in a dog free place in a location where the dog owner could travel and complete the activity within a reasobable time for the dog to be left (say 3 or 4 hours), rather than insisting on locking a dog away causing distress, and actively suffering an allergic reaction yourself?

Not dogs, but cats. DD is extremely allergic to cats. Industrial strength antihistamines don't touch it, so I can well believe that some people are this allergic to dogs.

DD is allergic to some dogs, but not on the scale that she is to cats. She had allergy testing through the GP and the letter he wrote to he stated that her allergy to cats "is off the scale".

Actually it does make a difference to the point where it is tolerable. It would be extremely limiting to never go anywhere that has had a dog so there is an element of suffering that needs to be endured. If the dog is shut in another room and the host has hoovered beforehand, it is manageable with strong antihistamines. It is not the case otherwise. Why would you presume to know how other people experience their allergies?

Actually it does make a difference to the point where it is tolerable. It would be extremely limiting to never go anywhere that has had a dog so there is an element of suffering that needs to be endured. If the dog is shut in another room and the host has hoovered beforehand, it is manageable with strong antihistamines. It is not the case otherwise. Why would you presume to know how other people experience their allergies?