Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

442 replies

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 17:35

So the Christmas plans have started. MIL thinks she is in charge of everyone’s schedules and movements 24-26 dec.

Last year we declined as they all have dogs!

This year she is trying to insist on various times at various peoples houses and I’ve said no ! We can’t be around any of the dogs!

We’ve offered to host here on Xmas eve or Boxing Day but that’s an absolute no as nobody can leave their beloved pets.

She can’t/wont accept that we just don’t like their dogs. MIL has two yappy snappy yorkies. SIL has four dogs. BIL 1 has three. BIL 2 has one. None are well trained and they all smell and it’s just not festive to me at all!!!

We offered alternatives! AIBU to stick to my guns on this

OP posts:
EppingIsFun · 07/09/2026 18:05

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 18:01

He doesn’t like them either but wants to see family so we tried to suggest things here but they declined. He will probably have to go alone on Xmas eve and just put up with it so that he gets to see them

Show quote history

Sad situation. People do get silly over their dogs.

I'm blunt so I'd probably just tell them you don't want to be around their dogs, won't be joining, and if they want to see you, it'll need to be without the dogs.

Obviously trickier for DH, as you say.

MellowSubmarine · 07/09/2026 18:03

10 poorly trained dogs? Absolutely not. That sounds like hell.

Ducketta · 07/09/2026 18:02

Sounds utterly hideous. Surely they can see that? I’d be a bit upset that they’re suggesting it as an option because it’s not really realistic is it?

Original poster
Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 18:01

EppingIsFun · 07/09/2026 17:59

Gross. You're not unreasonable at all. What does your husband think?

He doesn’t like them either but wants to see family so we tried to suggest things here but they declined. He will probably have to go alone on Xmas eve and just put up with it so that he gets to see them

OP posts:
DrMadelineMaxwell · 07/09/2026 18:00

We decline to go for the food and a prolonged visit due to Mum having a dog, and DS taking hers too. 2 is too many for DH, who was phobic as a child.

We either have them visit us for a shorter visit a different day or just pop around for an hour on the day as suits us.

EppingIsFun · 07/09/2026 17:59

Gross. You're not unreasonable at all. What does your husband think?

Silverbirchleaf · 07/09/2026 17:59

I’m a dog owner, but that’s madness.

Original poster
Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 17:58

MIL and BIL 2 have big houses but even so it’s absolute hell when all the dogs are there. The last time we went at Christmas (2024) I felt sick as it smelt of dog so strongly and they were just everywhere I felt like I was constantly tripping over dogs or avoiding them and it felt dirty 🤮

OP posts:
Nincompoo · 07/09/2026 17:57

I love dogs, my family dogs are great and are all well trained and not at all smelly.

Hell would freeze over before I spent my Christmas with other people badly behaved dogs….. Yanbu, at all!

moppety · 07/09/2026 17:57

That’s a lot of dogs! We routinely have 5 or 6 at family gatherings but nicely trained dogs and we are all dog people.

You don’t have to agree to go anywhere you don’t want to and they don’t have to go somewhere without their dogs if they don’t want to, is what it comes down to really.

jdb9803 · 07/09/2026 17:57

10 dags is crazy - and I say that as a dog owner - I wouldn't go

Pibs101 · 07/09/2026 17:57

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I am a cat person but love my sister’s greyhound. I’m scared of small yapping dogs.

DaftHapeth · 07/09/2026 17:57

You lost me at yappy snappy.

YANBU at all and if I were you I’d seriously consider booking a holiday to avoid further discussion. Or just say no.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 07/09/2026 17:55

Im a massive dog lover. And work as trainer.

ten badly trained dogs together at Christmas? That’s a ‘hell no’ even from me!!

MelonSorbet · 07/09/2026 17:54

So if everyone was together there would be ten dogs?! Fuck that. I wouldn't be visiting them either.

Namechangedasouting987 · 07/09/2026 17:52

I would not be going. That is too many dogs. Although one is too many for me.

TwinklyAmberSloth · 07/09/2026 17:47

10 dogs will be there?!?!

I'm not a dog person (my DH has a dog though) and that would absolutely NOT be my idea of a nice Christmas. Not relaxing at all. Christmas is supposed to be relaxing and fun.

I would perhaps visit for one day after Christmas.