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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

442 replies

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 17:35

So the Christmas plans have started. MIL thinks she is in charge of everyone’s schedules and movements 24-26 dec.

Last year we declined as they all have dogs!

This year she is trying to insist on various times at various peoples houses and I’ve said no ! We can’t be around any of the dogs!

We’ve offered to host here on Xmas eve or Boxing Day but that’s an absolute no as nobody can leave their beloved pets.

She can’t/wont accept that we just don’t like their dogs. MIL has two yappy snappy yorkies. SIL has four dogs. BIL 1 has three. BIL 2 has one. None are well trained and they all smell and it’s just not festive to me at all!!!

We offered alternatives! AIBU to stick to my guns on this

OP posts:
Maybeitllneverhappen · 07/09/2026 21:02

I love dogs, but that's too many! Stick to your guns.

Lizzieregina · 07/09/2026 20:56

I’d be staying home!

When our family gets together for celebrations (Christmas and similar) we have 9 dogs and 7 cats between us! The only pets on hand are at the home of the host, so typically 1 dog, and they are sometimes crated for the duration depending on their behaviour! No one brings their dog unless they are staying overnight due to distance.

JuliettaCaeser · 07/09/2026 20:55

Would be like Christmas in Battersea Dogs Home. No thanks

Minasama · 07/09/2026 20:55

My husband and I would never allow a dog into our house.

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · 07/09/2026 20:52

Ugh, these people with snappy dogs are the worst - I bet they insist that they’re just being friendly and won’t hurt anyone.
I had to chase a terrier the other day that the owner had off leash, and the dog chased after my absolutely petrified daughter. The owner offered a pathetic ‘he won’t hurt her’ while it was snapping at her heels, and then clawing at me. Needless to say I had choice words with her and her dog.

You are right to stick to your guns OP, it sounds awful.

Boreded · 07/09/2026 20:46

It’s funny how some people are though about their pets. I have 2 cats who are not allowed in the kitchen at all, yet when my mum suggested coming to me for Christmas I said no because I could not think of anything more embarrassing than finding a cat hair in the food. So I go to her pet free home where that won’t happen, I’ll help cook, or even do all the cooking if she wanted me to, but I wouldn’t risk the fur in my food

HisNibs · 07/09/2026 20:45

@Xmasinkennels furgrandbabies! Even more reason to stay away. Nope, no way, not ever would I be entertaining that household at Christmas. She can refuse to accept all she wants. What is she going to do? Beat you up? DH can drop in if he wants.

thegrumblingkitten · 07/09/2026 20:42

I hate bad dog owners

Hard pass

Let your DH drop by if he wants to but I'd stay home

Original poster
Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 20:38

HisNibs · 07/09/2026 18:06

Are there any children in this mix? I ask because the only thing I can think that would be worse than 10 poorly trained dogs around all of the usual Christmas festivities, would be small children being there getting nipped, knocked over etc

This is one of the issue ls I think. We are the only ones with young children . It seems that as the other dc in the family grew up SIL / BILS then got dogs and they all
treat the dogs like they are children ! Furgrandbabies MIL calls them !

OP posts:
DairyFogMother · 07/09/2026 20:36

Absolutely not unreasonable. I have dogs and they stay home when we go visiting; it gives us a reason to leave after a given period of time without causing offence too.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 07/09/2026 20:35

I hate eating meals at people’s houses where there are dogs……so there’s absolutely no way I’d let my actual Christmas Day meal be ruined by them! Not a chance!

Block out all their noise and complaints, enjoy having a cosy (dog free) Christmas in your own home and leave them all to it!

nellly · 07/09/2026 20:32

Dunnocantthinkofone · 07/09/2026 17:55

Im a massive dog lover. And work as trainer.

ten badly trained dogs together at Christmas? That’s a ‘hell no’ even from me!!

My thoughts exactly. I adore dogs and all animals but ten untrained dogs sounds like a Christmas from hell 😂

aCatCalledFawkes · 07/09/2026 20:32

KidsAndDogsGalore · 07/09/2026 19:13

🙄 another dog hating thread.

I don't think so. I'm a cat person but love being around other people's dogs, also love the idea long dog walks over christmas and the other nice bits etc.... but 10 dogs in one house, where the dogs don't normally live together?
My sister has always worked for various wildlife trusts, where its normal to bring your dog to work but at one point the dogs where all clashing and it wasn't great for anyone.

SometimesTheIntrusiveThoughtsWin · 07/09/2026 20:31

YANBU. in our family we have 4 (very well trained) dogs, whenever we all get to together we all say - there are too many dogs in this house.

10 is ridiculous

Besidemyselfwithworry · 07/09/2026 20:30

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 17:58

MIL and BIL 2 have big houses but even so it’s absolute hell when all the dogs are there. The last time we went at Christmas (2024) I felt sick as it smelt of dog so strongly and they were just everywhere I felt like I was constantly tripping over dogs or avoiding them and it felt dirty 🤮

I wouldn’t go either no chance!

dreamiesformolly · 07/09/2026 20:29

Deafnotdumb · 07/09/2026 19:51

I would arrange to meet at a pub for a drink/meal. Avoid the dogs at houses thing altogether.

I bet they’d all bring the dogs though, or say a flat no.

bananaobama · 07/09/2026 20:27

That’s too many dogs! Why do people need more than one?

Boreded · 07/09/2026 20:18

TeenLifeMum · 07/09/2026 19:59

The alternatives include leaving their pets for long periods of time - dogs can’t just be left home like cats, that would make them terrible and neglectful owners.

Show quote history

The alternatives could be come to theirs for a couple of hours on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day…oh wait that is the suggested alternative not the one you created.

QueenietheGreat · 07/09/2026 20:15

@Xmasinkennels
Honestly, just stick to your guns
Although we've trained our dog and she's cleaned/shampooed to within an inch of her doggie years she can still seriously pong!
And on a serious note
With all those dogs in close proximity to eachother with the Christmas excitement going on all around
Might not there be an "serious altercation"
That could possibly occur?

alcovecupboards · 07/09/2026 20:11

Ten poorly trained dogs in an enclosed space would be an issue that solves itself, so I suspect it's not quite as bad as you're making out. But either way if you don't want to go - you don't need to go. Does your DH want to go? Or your children?

BlueandtheGodofMischief · 07/09/2026 20:07

I like dogs but 10 dogs is too many especially badly trained ones. YANBU

BreezyClouds · 07/09/2026 20:07

Of course you should refuse if you dislike dogs but is it just you, how do dh and any DC feel? They should be able to attend if they want.

Do you ever see them? Can mil leave dogs with bil and come over or anything like that?

If I really disliked dogs I would not be coerced into it but I'd be trying to maintain a relationship.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 07/09/2026 20:03

Ugh ten dogs would absolutely stink. They can leave the dogs at home surely.

FudgeFudy · 07/09/2026 20:00

That's not a Christmas gathering that's a zoo; sod that. There's often two not-very-well trained dogs in attendance when my in-laws all get together and that gets pretty tiresome, but ten?!

TeenLifeMum · 07/09/2026 19:59

prettiestpuppy · 07/09/2026 19:38

As a dog person I say YANBU. You’ve offered alternatives, the balls in their court.

The alternatives include leaving their pets for long periods of time - dogs can’t just be left home like cats, that would make them terrible and neglectful owners.