AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

I'm another dog-owner/dog-lover who thinks 10 untrained dogs together sounds like hell. Do you visit any of them individually at other times or have them visit you? And, if so, what happens to the dogs then?

*You’re!!!

I can just about tolerate one dog and only then for short periods and my DD dog is a poodle cross so no hair gets shed but it does create dander……and all dogs smell!
Your not being unreasonable in resisting MIL plans, I’d be doing the same in your position OP.

Ha ha. I had the woman who said her dog thought I was a squirrel...that makes it all ok apparently.

They use doggy day care or leave them outside all day to bark and annoy the neighbours. Potentially a combination of both.

Same. You are not remotely unreasonable OP. And they could leave their pets for a few hours, but it will depend where you all live in relation to each other.

How do people cope when they have to go to work all day? Pop back in the lunch hour? Sheesh.

Anyone wanting to visit with a dog can fuck right off, family or otherwise. Dogs I can take or leave, would rather leave, it's some of the stupid owners with the 'it's my baby' mentality that are the worst.
"It's friendly?" well I'm not, so take your dog and fuck off. Some random woman burst into tears the other day when I said that. Her dog tried to jump up. I shrugged and laughed at her, the stupid cow. Why would I care ?

But pets have needs and they can’t be left alone lone for more than 4 hours.

I agree, but they can be left for 4 hours.

@Xmasinkennels I wouldn't worry about offending the dog owners. It would just be a non negotiable no from me. I would invite family around without dogs for 2 or 3 hours and if they feel they can't even leave them for that long they can stay at home.

I couldn’t imagine one dog visiting my house, never mind 10. What about a family walk that is dog friendly? Somewhere with outdoor seating or all take a hot drink and some cakes.

Agree - and it is their choice not to see the OP and family not the other way around because they are the ones who are being inappropriate and strange.

But that's not what the OP says. It simply says that they have declined the invitation. As they did the same last year, it can hardly have come as a surprise. She isnt trying to control the situation at all, it's the MIL who is doing that by trying to insist that everyone is in certain places at certain times.

The simple fact is, if the MIL and other members of the family won't go.anywhere without their dogs, then they aren't going to see their GCs at Christmas. OP's stance on this is perfectly reasonable.

How far away do you live from each other? Could someone go and let the dogs out half way thro8gh the day if needed?

It's a shame the dogs aren't well trained enough to be left alone for the day.

I love dogs and everyone in my family has a dog but they are trained to within an inch of their lives and are able to spend a whole day alone if needed incase of emergencies.

YANBU to not want to be around badly trained dogs

Absolutely not. I love dogs and have dogs but that many untrained dogs in a confined space, plus children is a recipe for disaster.

Obviously I get that they can't be left all day and they can't get a dog sitter over Christmas day and boxing day but I'd rather just not go, and see them in between Christmas and New year for lunch out or something.

Bringing pets should be a 100% yes situation otherwise they don’t come. If someone is not comfortable the polite thing to do is not to bring it, not to make that person feel unable to attend.

They can absolutely left for longer than this particularly as a one off. Dog owners can pop back and let out for wee etc if they are worried.

Dogs can only be left for a max of 4 hours. And the smell will depend on the dogs and how small the house is. OP has said MziL and BIL have large houses

But pets have needs and they can’t be left alone lone for more than 4 hours. Everyone else is ok with the arrangement and wants the dogs there. What’s sad is the OP thinks she can control the situation because she hates the dogs. Maybe the rest of the family prefer the dogs. DH is going don’t really does seem an OP issue this one

But people aren’t “silly around their dogs) the most you can leave one for is 4 hours - clearly only OP has an issue here everyone else is happy with the arrangement (it’s also going to be debatable how “poorly trained” and “snappy yappy” they are given OPs clear dog hatred

It’s just so sad that dogs are being prioritised over her DH and his family!

You don't have to go along with their plans. They don't have to go along with your plans. Seems like more people are happy with the plans than not so you can't stamp your foot about how unreasonable they are. You probably won't see any of each other over Xmas given this, but it also seems like you don't like them anyway so is it really a loss?

Who would choose to spend Xmas cooped up in a house with 10 dogs? No-one would expect that to be a relaxing, calm experience.

Don't even want to imagine what the noise and smell would be like. You would be mad to agree to going there.

Do all the 10 dogs get along ? I suppose they must do if they are all taken along to every family event ? So they are probably well socialised at least.

What would concern me though is that they aren't used to being around small children, if they have been brought up in households with much older children, so I can understand your reticence even if you were a big dog lover. Small children and a large number of giddy dogs would be a no from me too.

I love dogs, but wouldn’t take children into a house with 10 dogs under any circumstances.

Oh stop it. A dog can be left for a few hours.