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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

442 replies

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 17:35

So the Christmas plans have started. MIL thinks she is in charge of everyone’s schedules and movements 24-26 dec.

Last year we declined as they all have dogs!

This year she is trying to insist on various times at various peoples houses and I’ve said no ! We can’t be around any of the dogs!

We’ve offered to host here on Xmas eve or Boxing Day but that’s an absolute no as nobody can leave their beloved pets.

She can’t/wont accept that we just don’t like their dogs. MIL has two yappy snappy yorkies. SIL has four dogs. BIL 1 has three. BIL 2 has one. None are well trained and they all smell and it’s just not festive to me at all!!!

We offered alternatives! AIBU to stick to my guns on this

OP posts:
Metalmotha · 08/09/2026 19:44

JoyousWriter · 08/09/2026 18:35

Dogs are not allowed in my house.

People who don’t like dogs aren’t welcome in mine. But we are not the family which is subject to this thread

pinkiphoneandwine · 08/09/2026 19:08

WecanbeheroeslikeBowie · 08/09/2026 17:10

Anyone wanting to visit with a dog can fuck right off, family or otherwise. Dogs I can take or leave, would rather leave, it's some of the stupid owners with the 'it's my baby' mentality that are the worst.
"It's friendly?" well I'm not, so take your dog and fuck off. Some random woman burst into tears the other day when I said that. Her dog tried to jump up. I shrugged and laughed at her, the stupid cow. Why would I care ?

Are you so unpleasant in all areas of your life, or is it restricted to dogs and their owners?

Walkinthepark2026 · 08/09/2026 19:04

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 17:35

So the Christmas plans have started. MIL thinks she is in charge of everyone’s schedules and movements 24-26 dec.

Last year we declined as they all have dogs!

This year she is trying to insist on various times at various peoples houses and I’ve said no ! We can’t be around any of the dogs!

We’ve offered to host here on Xmas eve or Boxing Day but that’s an absolute no as nobody can leave their beloved pets.

She can’t/wont accept that we just don’t like their dogs. MIL has two yappy snappy yorkies. SIL has four dogs. BIL 1 has three. BIL 2 has one. None are well trained and they all smell and it’s just not festive to me at all!!!

We offered alternatives! AIBU to stick to my guns on this

Sounds like my idea of hell 🤮YANBU at all ! That’s way too many dogs!

Cazz1953 · 08/09/2026 18:54

Stick to your guns. If you don’t want to be around dogs, just don’t go. I’m a dog lover, but I wouldn’t want to be around so many.

MachineBee · 08/09/2026 18:51

I would also be worried about what sort of food the dogs could get hold of. So much of it is really bad for dogs - chocolate, anything with dried fruit, onions, even alcohol. That’s before you start on choking hazards from kids toys. YANBU OP and it would be a firm ‘no’ from me too (and I love dogs, but 10 at the same time?! Nah).

JoyousWriter · 08/09/2026 18:35

Dogs are not allowed in my house.

garlictwist · 08/09/2026 18:21

YANBU. MIL brought her dog over yesterday - fine, she was visiting and it was with her. But within ten minutes it had rolled all over my rug, thrown up in the kitchen, left a muddy pawprint on the carpet that I can't get out and shat in the garden. It's just more hassle than it's worth and that's one dog.

Terfarina · 08/09/2026 18:21

Xmasinkennels · 07/09/2026 20:38

This is one of the issue ls I think. We are the only ones with young children . It seems that as the other dc in the family grew up SIL / BILS then got dogs and they all
treat the dogs like they are children ! Furgrandbabies MIL calls them !

Gross. There is no hope in hell that I would have them at mine or would go to theirs with ten dogs!

Can you get cats and say they can't come to you cos not fair on the cats?

Bookbears · 08/09/2026 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 18:17

I love dogs and have three but I would never inflict them on someone else's house.

Your house your rules 🐾

LauritaEvita · 08/09/2026 18:06

I cannot even imagine who the small number of people are saying YABU and I know some crazy dog lovers.

Bookbears · 08/09/2026 18:05

KidsAndDogsGalore · 07/09/2026 19:13

🙄 another dog hating thread.

Who doesn’t hate poorly trained dogs?

AgnesMcDoo · 08/09/2026 18:02

I’d vote for a no dog Xmas too

Bookbears · 08/09/2026 18:02

Definitely agree with you OP. I’m not a huge dog fan, always had them growing up and loved them dearly but they were all very well trained and small breeds. Since our last family dog passed away my friends and other family members have got dogs and all are poorly/not trained at all, constantly jumping up at you, constantly bringing toys to throw or just constantly under your feet and in your way. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than 10 poorly trained dogs in one house! Especially with kids in the mix as well!

My in laws have a huge dog, way too big for their house and when it lays down it takes up 85% of the available floor space in the living room which is the only room people can sit and my kids can play. And then it spends the time it’s awake pacing around the coffee table which it can’t get round because we are sitting on the sofas, so we have to then move our feet or get up and down to let the dog past. They refuse to put the dog in the kitchen while we are there so we can actually sit down so we just don’t bother going anymore. I get the dog lives there but when you have a crawling baby and a small child, the last thing you want is a huge dog within reach/tripping over your children.

HunterBidensTanktop · 08/09/2026 18:01

I look forward to the dog that visits us every Christmas, but this sounds like Hell.

QueenietheGreat · 08/09/2026 18:00

@Xmasinkennels
And another thing
Where are 10 dogs
Going to poo?
Excitement and possible christmassy titbits
Will definitely make that happen.........

KiwiFall · 08/09/2026 17:59

Yeah. I like dogs but a bit scared of them. Especially 10 in one house. I would be fearful of a fight breaking out between them. Plus I agree too that smelly dogs make me really nauseous after a hour or two. (Before those come at me I know not every dog smells but be honest some do and the OP said these dogs do).

I don’t think it is unreasonable not to go to them and not have them over. They decided to have dogs and if you don’t want to be around them (which is just as reasonable a choice as their choice is having them) then just state the truth. Stick to your guns.

Blushingm · 08/09/2026 17:57

God no. My idea of Christmas hell would be having to spend it with other peoples dogs

RockinCara · 08/09/2026 17:56

I am a massive dog lover but I never took my dogs to my SIL’s house for Xmas because there were several other dogs there. My dogs were stressed by it all too on the occasion we took them. Later on we used the animals as an excuse for not going for more than a quick coffee in the morning. They all love a loud boozy Christmas, we prefer a chilled one.

Torchout · 08/09/2026 17:53

A bit off topic but I can't understand why people get dogs and the don't train them. Im getting a dif when we move and I've researched dog trainers nearby .

EmmaB1309 · 08/09/2026 17:52

Yeuch the horrible yorkies would be a hard no from me, never mind all the others!

fatphalange · 08/09/2026 17:51

Phloosie · 08/09/2026 17:49

Where could you meet that doesn’t now welcome dogs?

Since the relatives know they aren’t having house visits due to the dogs as the OP and her DH don’t like them, surely they wouldn’t bring the dogs. To bring them would defeat the object, which is to avoid them.

HappydaysArehere · 08/09/2026 17:51

Agree. All those dog!! You are the hardworking host and it’s your home. Can’t imagine a Christmas meal with them all around. Say the invite stands if they can accommodate the dogs for that time. I love dogs but not in that number in my home.

Phloosie · 08/09/2026 17:49

fatphalange · 08/09/2026 17:44

Sounds dire. I would offer another alternative since they’ve declined a visit to yours: a meet up for a festive drink or meal somewhere. If this is declined then say ‘oh what a shame, we might have a catch up some time in the new year then, enjoy Christmas with the dogs.’

Where could you meet that doesn’t now welcome dogs?

fatphalange · 08/09/2026 17:44

Sounds dire. I would offer another alternative since they’ve declined a visit to yours: a meet up for a festive drink or meal somewhere. If this is declined then say ‘oh what a shame, we might have a catch up some time in the new year then, enjoy Christmas with the dogs.’