AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

That’s why people don’t give a shit about your health.

YANBU. I have a family member I will probably never see again because they refuse to leave their dog alone.

Basically yes.

I have an allergy and a baby. My health and my child are more important than anyone’s dog. Anyone who can’t see that is being deliberately obtuse.

Because it is allowed to impact on other people as evidenced in this thread. It causes unnecessary drama when the dog owner could simply leave their dog at home

I honestly believe some MNers would applaud animal neglect. Leave it at home for hours, it’s just a pet. It can’t howl if it’s scared though cos that’s not fair on neighbours and if it toilets inside I’ll gleefully tell you your house stinks.

Wow, we've found the entitled one who always expects their preferences to be centred above all else!

Of course we have responsibilies to our pets! I'm simply a responsible pet owner, that's all.

A dog is a living thing. It’s dependent on its owner for everything and involves responsibility. Being a responsible dog owner isn’t a “problem”. We leave ours for four hours maximum and if anything involves leaving them longer we don’t go. It has zero impact on anyone else.

Oh this again!

OP can decline any invitation she likes, (and I suspect even most dog lovers would find 10 dogs too chaotic unless it's a huge space).

OP ILs can also decline any invitation they like, and obviously have responsibilities to their pets they need to meet regardless of whether it is Christmas or not.

When OPs preferences and her ILs responsibilities aren't compatible, then they don't get to spend Christmas together.

Everyone needs to respect each others right to decline invitations, and no one gets to throw a tantrum over it. Polite decline/or polite acceptance of decline are the only reasonable responses on both sides.

You don’t get to decide how someone feels. Why so put out someone treats their dogs well?

Right so you really won’t go to any event that doesn’t include your dog or involves you leaving it more than a very small amount of time. You’re the problem with dog ownership these days. It’s not necessary at all and people like you have been brainwashed into thinking that dogs need far more tending to than is actually necessary, and it’s impacting on other people

A dog is a pet, it does not get the same “responsibility” status as children or being a carer. It’s just a hobby you chose. Stop trying to make it more important than it is.

Yes all dog houses smell of dogs although owners cannot smell it.

Sounds like hell, I would not go. YANBU

I go to those that are compatible with my responsiblities to my animals as I said in my post. So local, brief events where I won't need to leave my dog for extended periods (and I have adult children who can, on occasion, dog sit.)

And no, it is not selfish to prioritise my existing responsibilities towards my pets over the social wants of other humans. Frankly, anyone expecting me to centre their social wants above all else and throwing a tantrum when I don't is a self centred, entitled twat.

You don’t go to ANY dog free events? Why do you want to limit your life so much for an animal? I will never understand it, it’s a pet!

And it’s rude to prioritise animals over your people relationships - that’s why people are having “tantrums”, because they probably think you’re being precious

YANBU I have a dog she is a Jack Russell she is a barky loud mouth little bastard to all strangers and other dogs feed her endless treats and she will love you forever, I absolutely love her but I wouldn’t inflict her on other people. Would I shite want to spend my Christmas Day surrounded by 10 pain in the ass dogs that’s the equivalent of being surrounded by 10 screaming kids they may love their dogs but other people don’t. Dogs can be left at home they will survive a few hours on their own it won’t cause them any sort of trauma they will still love you when you get home.

Do whatever you want to do! It's your Christmas as well, you don't even need a reason other than "this is what we want to do". They can do whatever they want as well, so if they want to share dinner with 10 badly behaved dogs, they can go for it.
Lots of people choose to see no family at all on christmas day, purely because they want a peaceful and quiet day with no demands. She is mad insisting anyone else does whatever she wants without asking their plans or opinions first.
Say no, keep saying no. I wouldn't personally bring reasons or dogs into it, I'd simply say "we fancy a quiet day just the two of us, happy to host Xmas eve as discussed but it'll be dog free, that's our only offering and it's not negotiable - take it or leave it. We love you all but we are adults and this is our plan for Christmas based on what we want to do. Peace and joy to all and enjoy your day"

We have 4 dogs. I personally would not expect to take the dogs to relatives at Christmas.

I would go nowhere there are 10 untrained dogs!!!

I take my dog anywhere I can but if I go to the cinema, he's alone for 5 hours. Same if we nip to the nearest city or have an appointment 90 minutes away.

It's not cruel, he doesn't even notice. He's a dog and has very little concept of time between half an hour and 8.

OP that's too many dogs. I'm an insufferable dog owner who takes them everywhere they're allowed to go but I draw the line there.

Unfortunately that means you're going to have very little to do with your family in future but if they're unable to recognise the reasons why, they're better off at arms length

Quite the opposite of my experiences.

I don't arrange dog free events, or accept dog free inviations (unless they are local and brief, so compatible with dog care). The tantrums I have been subjected to when politely declining events! And further tantrums for arranging my own dog friendly events at other times that I can actually attend!

I don't know anyone who tries to bring dogs to dog free venues or events. We simply politely decline invitations which aren't compatible with our responsibilities.

That’s not my experience at all - my experience is that the dog owner will repeatedly try and bring the dog to things despite being told no on prior occasions and for some reason will think that their dog is the exception.

In my experience dog owners accept that their responsibility to their pets means they will have to decline invitations. It's the dog dislikers who insist on dog free meetups who then tend to throw a tantrum when their invitations are quite reasonably declined.

Of course my responsibility to my dog is more important than meeting someone else's social wants!

It absolutely is neglectful to leave dogs for more than 4 hours and no responsible dog owner would do so. That's been the advice from animal professionals for decades.

Screw that!

No but they then shouldn’t moan when it stops them from being “included” through a choice they have actively made.

The problem is lots of dog owners DO their their dogs are more important than the people around them, as clearly evidenced by the OPs family.

Plenty of people leave their dogs more more than 4 hours. They are not all neglectful. It used to be very normal. People have just gone bonkers about the things.

Yes, of course it is actively cruel to leave dogs for more than 4 hours a day and has been the advice given to pet owners for decades.

Sorry if people being responsible pet owners upsets your social plans, how very dare they not centre your preferences at all times!

Of course it’s not ‘actively cruel’ to leave a dog for 4 hours. Don’t be so ridiculous! 😆