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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To realise it’s actually me.

109 replies

jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 16:43

I met up with my mum recently, we don’t live very near but the whole time she kept asking me to repeat myself as she said she thought she must be losing her hearing.

Dh has kept asking me to repeat myself over the last few weeks too and started wondering if there’s something wrong with his hearing.

I made an important phone call today with a very apologetic lady who thought she must be losing her hearing.

My children keep asking me to repeat myself.

I called out to the usually friendly neighbour who didn’t respond.

Today my child’s teacher had a quick chat but kept asking me to repeat myself because she couldn’t hear very well.

Lastly we just popped into the pharmacy for my prescription and I had to say my very simple last name 3 times before being asked to spell it because the man behind the counter said he was a being a bit deaf.

It’s not a bad hearing epidemic is it?

Am I losing my hearing? Would that make my voice quieter ?To me I sound the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 17:45

CountingToThree · 07/09/2026 17:08

Are you tired/stressed? I'm a naturally quiet person and have to actively remember to talk up. when I'm tired I revert to talking quietly as I haven't got the energy to think about talking more loudly

We did have a house move over the summer holidays but all seems to have gone well and I don’t feel stressed.

I have never had a quiet speaking voice and to me I don’t feel like I’m speaking any different to usual but it’s no coincidence that everyone I speak to is suddenly struggling to hear me.
It’s a bit embarrassing when people lean right in with squinty eyes to try and make out what you’re saying as you might a 3 year old who you can’t hear when she might have her fingers in her mouth.
I did ask Dh just now and he said yes for the past few weeks I’ve barely been able to hear you, you’re getting quieter and quieter even on the phone but I never used to.
It’s certainly not conscious.

OP posts:
SandyHappyPerson · 07/09/2026 17:40

Do you speak louder when asked to repeat yourself?

I know someone at work, he speaks very quietly, normally it is okay, but if there is any background noise, I just can't hear him. When I gesture that I can't hear and ask him to say it again, he says it again in the EXACT SAME VOLUME.. sometimes, I have to say, look can you just speak a bit louder, I can't hear a word you are saying! to which he speaks ever so slightly louder.

It annoys me that I have to keep asking over and over, so now if I can't hear him I just smile and nod and pretend I know what he is telling me.. you should definitely look into what is causing it.

Arcticsway · 07/09/2026 17:26

If you were beginning to have hearing loss, you would know (IME). Can you still hear other people as easily as you used to, do you have to turn up the TV louder than usual, do you hear when someone knocks at the door? Do you miss things happening because you didn't hear the cues?

If none of the above, it is unlikely you are talking quietly due to suffering hearing loss yourself. Ask your husband exactly what the problem is with your speech, and if he has only noticed it recently.

Raghnaid · 07/09/2026 17:23

Yellowpingu · 07/09/2026 17:11

Do an online hearing check on RNID website. It’s free and can be done at anytime.

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That's a brilliant resource @Yellowpingu, thank you

WaryCyanStork · 07/09/2026 17:22

Can you ask your DM or DH if they've noticed a change? If they have, can they tell if you've just become quieter, or if your speech has become unclear/slurred?

Iwouldlikesomecake · 07/09/2026 17:20

I used to work with a guy who had hearing damage and he spoke incredibly quietly. If you are hearing people at a quiet level it may be you are matching your volume to what you perceive theirs to be, when actually you’re being much quieter.

Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 17:19

Yellowpingu · 07/09/2026 17:11

Do an online hearing check on RNID website. It’s free and can be done at anytime.

Show quote history

I will do thanks I didn’t realise you could.

OP posts:
CraftyNavySeal · 07/09/2026 17:15

My friend has this and the problem is that she is the one with hearing issues and she doesn’t know how loud she is speaking.

She has auditory processing disorder so it’s not just a case of being deaf or not deaf, there are differing issues and degrees.

Yellowpingu · 07/09/2026 17:11

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/09/2026 17:07

I am the opposite- I find myself asking others to repeat themselves as I don’t catch key words. I probably should make an appointment tbh!

Do an online hearing check on RNID website. It’s free and can be done at anytime.

Yellowpingu · 07/09/2026 17:10

You can do an online hearing test for free on the RNID website. That will let you know if it’s you and you’re somehow speaking more quietly.

Clydebuilt · 07/09/2026 17:09

My friend is deaf (wears hearing aids) and she often speaks loudly because she can’t hear herself speak…I’ve recently had to have my ears syringed and I was temporarily really quite deaf!

CountingToThree · 07/09/2026 17:08

Are you tired/stressed? I'm a naturally quiet person and have to actively remember to talk up. when I'm tired I revert to talking quietly as I haven't got the energy to think about talking more loudly

Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 17:07

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Dh keeps stopping me mid sentence and saying you’ll have to speak up I can’t hear you, exactly as my mum but thinking it must be them.
I have started to notice it in public now with staff or public leaning in closer or straining to hear suddenly.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/09/2026 17:07

I am the opposite- I find myself asking others to repeat themselves as I don’t catch key words. I probably should make an appointment tbh!

24Dogcuddler · 07/09/2026 17:05

Specsavers is a good recommendation as a PP said.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/09/2026 17:04

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If you know everything, why not tell OP what the issue is?

Roodleflippy · 07/09/2026 17:04

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Roodleflippy · 07/09/2026 17:03

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ScotiaLass · 07/09/2026 17:02

Having blocked ears can make you talk more quietly because you can hear your own voice more loudly inside your own head. I'd make an appointment at Specsavers to get your hearing checked. They can also suction wax out of your ears if necessary to remove a blockage and restore your hearing.

Error404FucksNotFound · 07/09/2026 16:53

Losing your hearing would not make you speak more quietly. (ime)

You are either mumbling or perhaps slurring your words.

Ask your husband.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/09/2026 16:53

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Usually yes, not always which is why people have suggested it. Usually people don’t just suddenly start talking quietly/mumbling a lot out of nowhere either

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/09/2026 16:51

I think it's more likely that you are mumbling more than usual for some reason. My XH had a soft accent and would speak very very quietly and lack of volume combined with accent meant that EVERYONE had to ask him to repeat himself. He also thought it was other people but really it was just the way he spoke.

Roodleflippy · 07/09/2026 16:50

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VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 07/09/2026 16:50

Is it that you've only just started doing it? Or that you've only just started noticing that people keep asking you to repeat yourself.

Its easy to assume that you've only just started mumbling, but maybe your Mum really is starting to lose her hearing, and so asked you to repeat yourself more often, that its now drawn your attention to a pattern in other people as well.

Roodleflippy · 07/09/2026 16:49

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