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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To realise it’s actually me.

109 replies

jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 16:43

I met up with my mum recently, we don’t live very near but the whole time she kept asking me to repeat myself as she said she thought she must be losing her hearing.

Dh has kept asking me to repeat myself over the last few weeks too and started wondering if there’s something wrong with his hearing.

I made an important phone call today with a very apologetic lady who thought she must be losing her hearing.

My children keep asking me to repeat myself.

I called out to the usually friendly neighbour who didn’t respond.

Today my child’s teacher had a quick chat but kept asking me to repeat myself because she couldn’t hear very well.

Lastly we just popped into the pharmacy for my prescription and I had to say my very simple last name 3 times before being asked to spell it because the man behind the counter said he was a being a bit deaf.

It’s not a bad hearing epidemic is it?

Am I losing my hearing? Would that make my voice quieter ?To me I sound the same.

OP posts:
Bedlingtonwarrior · 07/09/2026 19:06

As retired Audiologist, speaking quietly is symptomatic of a conductive hearing loss.
You can obtain a free hearing test from the NHS (long waiting list !) or visit one fof the many high street suppliers of hearing aids (Specsavers, Boots etc) for an immediate free test and no obligation
Good luck !!!

WarriorN · 07/09/2026 19:05

Was also going to say thyroid. My mum can always tell if I’m underactive on the phone.

Though to me it’s more like Mariella Frostrup.

Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 19:05

sparkleglitterdaisy · 07/09/2026 19:00

Have you tried recording yourself speak then play it back for yourself? Regardless make a GP appointment.

I will try this.

OP posts:
Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 19:04

PrettyPickle · 07/09/2026 18:43

@jaysrocks Are you anaemic, iron deficiency can result in a lower voice apparently - it was a shocker to me too!

Your voice is produced by muscles, the vocal cords, the diaphragm, the intercostal muscles, the throat, the tongue. When iron is low, those muscles fatigue more quickly and produce less force.
That can show up as:

  • quieter speech
  • weaker projection
  • trailing off at the ends of sentences
  • difficulty sustaining volume
  • feeling “breathy”
  • needing to repeat yourself
  • people saying you sound like you’re mumbling
  • people not hearing you in noisy environments

You don’t hear the drop in your own volume because your internal perception of your voice doesn’t match the external output. This is exactly why people with iron deficiency often say: “I sound normal to myself.” But everyone else hears a quieter, softer, less projected voice.

I have had low iron levels in the past, post partum.

OP posts:
sparkleglitterdaisy · 07/09/2026 19:00

Have you tried recording yourself speak then play it back for yourself? Regardless make a GP appointment.

Therescathairinmybath · 07/09/2026 18:54

I’m also wondering if you’ve had your thyroid levels checked recently. An under active thyroid can affect both hearing and speech.

Imdunfer · 07/09/2026 18:51

Please see your GP, speaking more quietly than usual is symptomatic of a number of diseases, some of which are best caught early.

Do your muscles tire easily?
Do you have acid reflux?
Are you breathing in food?

Your GP should explore this and refer you.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 07/09/2026 18:49

Sounds like your mumbling.

Therescathairinmybath · 07/09/2026 18:48

jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 18:27

I did have a couple of days a few weeks ago where I could hear a crackling and popping in my ears as I spoke but nobody else could hear it. I could feel this weird vibration coming from my ears as I spoke not had it since and not before.
Not drip feeding generally thought nothing of it until reading the comments and something reminded me of it.

Have you had a cold recently? It can affect the pressure in your ears. Definitely go for a check up to see if your ears are blocked.

I’m hard of hearing and wear hearing aids. Until you get checked, my advice is to make sure that you face people when you are speaking to them and try to stand no more than 6 feet away so that your voice projects directly towards them. If you are asked to speak up, make sure that you do increase the volume because it’s incredibly frustrating when someone keeps mumbling quietly. They will tell you if you are too loud!

Alwaystimeforteaandcakes · 07/09/2026 18:47

Look up s z ratios on Google and do it with someone timing you.
It's can quickly give you an idea if there is a voice disorder that needs investigation.

Tiltedd · 07/09/2026 18:45

Can’t you just speak a bit louder ?

PrettyPickle · 07/09/2026 18:43

@jaysrocks Are you anaemic, iron deficiency can result in a lower voice apparently - it was a shocker to me too!

Your voice is produced by muscles, the vocal cords, the diaphragm, the intercostal muscles, the throat, the tongue. When iron is low, those muscles fatigue more quickly and produce less force.
That can show up as:

  • quieter speech
  • weaker projection
  • trailing off at the ends of sentences
  • difficulty sustaining volume
  • feeling “breathy”
  • needing to repeat yourself
  • people saying you sound like you’re mumbling
  • people not hearing you in noisy environments

You don’t hear the drop in your own volume because your internal perception of your voice doesn’t match the external output. This is exactly why people with iron deficiency often say: “I sound normal to myself.” But everyone else hears a quieter, softer, less projected voice.

Partingofthewaves · 07/09/2026 18:41

jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 18:39

Theres definitely something going on, I have noticed for a while I sound a bit croaky sometimes in the morning and my voice tends to cut in and out, this is new as sometimes I go to say something and nothing comes out at first so I clear my throat and try again but Dh just used to think that was funny so I just didn’t worry much.

Show quote history

See your GP and ask for a referral to an ENT department. It could be polyps or something else. I have a very husky voice and had some vocal physio for it, all to do with my breathing apparently.

Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 18:39

Partingofthewaves · 07/09/2026 18:26

I agree. It could be your vocal chords.

Show quote history

Theres definitely something going on, I have noticed for a while I sound a bit croaky sometimes in the morning and my voice tends to cut in and out, this is new as sometimes I go to say something and nothing comes out at first so I clear my throat and try again but Dh just used to think that was funny so I just didn’t worry much.

OP posts:
catherinewales · 07/09/2026 18:34

My DH suffers with his ears and when he has a flare up I know as his voice gets lower. He doesn’t realise he’s doing it. I would get your ears checked and if they are ok I’d make an appointment with the gp. Hope you’re ok op xx

mynameiscalypso · 07/09/2026 18:31

I agree that it could be hearing loss. I have severe hearing loss in one ear that’s gradually come on (I’m about the same age). The only reason I noticed is because the sound through my headphones seemed a bit odd and I’ve never had a problem hearing anyone but one of the consequences is that my voice has got quieter although it sounds exactly the same in my head.

Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 18:27

I did have a couple of days a few weeks ago where I could hear a crackling and popping in my ears as I spoke but nobody else could hear it. I could feel this weird vibration coming from my ears as I spoke not had it since and not before.
Not drip feeding generally thought nothing of it until reading the comments and something reminded me of it.

OP posts:
Partingofthewaves · 07/09/2026 18:26

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 07/09/2026 17:45

This doesn't sound like hearing loss IMO.

I would be more worried about something impacting your speech. I think you need to make a GP appointment.

I agree. It could be your vocal chords.

comeoncolleen · 07/09/2026 18:24

jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 18:19

If I try to speak up deliberately it sounds very strained like I’m shouting over loud music and not something I could keep up for long.
I am not just a quiet person though as this has just been a month or so.

Show quote history

I think something has gone wrong in your airways and unless your GP can come up with a quick diagnosis and treatment, I would suggest a voice coach, even for one session, to look at what is happening to your voice.

DetonationBoulevard · 07/09/2026 18:24

Get tested, and if your hearing comes back fine perhaps consider the GP? I'm sure you're likely to be fine, but an unusually quiet voice can be an early symptom of Parkinson's.

Lovemycat2023 · 07/09/2026 18:23

CountingToThree · 07/09/2026 17:08

Are you tired/stressed? I'm a naturally quiet person and have to actively remember to talk up. when I'm tired I revert to talking quietly as I haven't got the energy to think about talking more loudly

That’s a good suggestion too

Fortheloveofpizza · 07/09/2026 18:22

When my hearing went I started to speak quietly. I couldn’t regulate my volume. Some go lower and some higher

Homewithdd · 07/09/2026 18:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
jaysrocks · 07/09/2026 18:19

comeoncolleen · 07/09/2026 18:15

Strange. Can you speak loudly if you make the effort? You could ask someone to monitor you.
One possibility is that your lungs aren't working quite as well as usual so you are trying to talk with too little breath. A session with a voice coach could be helpful.

If I try to speak up deliberately it sounds very strained like I’m shouting over loud music and not something I could keep up for long.
I am not just a quiet person though as this has just been a month or so.

OP posts:
DopeyS · 07/09/2026 18:16

I wear hearing aids. When the battery in my better ear goes I get asked by everyone to repeat myself or get talked over. I have conductive hearing loss so can hear myself in my own head but obviously struggle to hear how loud I'm talking without my hearing aids.
Some people will talk louder with hearing issues but other people (like me) will be quieter. I'd definitely make a hearing test appointment just to rule it out.