Am I being unreasonable for feelings of rage from the sound of someone eating crisps?!

Yawn bored with all the trauma, adhd, asd, medical conditions.. fro with it all

DH eating grapes gives me the 😡

It being nonsense is objectively untrue, as I just explained, and how to manage it is a separate conversation entirely. Not the sharpest tool in the shed are we?

It’s still nonsense, there’s probably a medical condition apparently for every sort of neurosis but it’s the holders problem to manage but if they struggle to cope with normal everyday behaviour from others then it’s a problem for them nobody else. Most people are not autistic.

Definitely a you problem OP even if it misiphonia. You'll have to learn to be more tolerant I think

I have terrible misophojia that has definitely got worse with age / menopause .

can’t even eat Christmas dinner with my family anymore as I want to kill
them all.

I think those people are being hyperbolic. It doesn't have to be to your taste, but using violent metaphor does not actually mean you would do violence.

And actually, I think we don't react to women using such hyperbole precisely because it's rare a woman actually does these things to a man. It would not be as funny or as obvious of an exaggeration for a man to joke about exactly what men do all the time.

I could say "oh, my parents would murder me if I did X", and nobody would be concerned because it's very rare for parents to murder their adult child. If I said "oh, my husband would murder me if I did X", it is more concerning because... Well, we've all actually seen that happen.

Have you read the other posts where there's comments about wanting to tear their faces off or staple them through the face? If any of these things were said about males telling a partner that they wanted to do that or just getting into a rage and ordering her to eat in a different room because she made 'disgusting noises' and he wanted to lamp her for it, it would be red flags, LTB, that's abuse, that is, all over the thread.

I can't tolerate some noises due to combination of tinnitus, hearing loss and HA use amplifying the exact ones that hurt (most painful are things like clapping, people moving programmes at shows, balloons popping, babies crying, that sort of thing, most frustrating/confusing are in crowded areas with lots of people talking/laughing/shouting at once, like a school dinner queue, as it's a wall of sound slamming into the side of my head). No fantasies about hurting anybody who is making those sounds, though. Because that is not a proportionate or reasonable reaction even when taking into account a disability.

If you had words with me about something - I would be having words with you back. As I said in a previous post there are certain sounds I can't deal with well. But I have to. It is not unreasonable to go out for a Chinese meal and listen to people crunching prawn crackers. People shouldn't have to moderate their eating habits because of you -or me. There are people who get on buses near me who gurn and lip smack and not all older people either. I got on a bus the other day and an older man was clicking his false teeth together and I hated it but I said nothing. I'm not here to shame other people. Some people can't help sniffing or throat clearing if they have a cold.

There is a lot of evidence that autistic brains process certain stimuli as if they were physical pain.

I don't believe it's cruel. I'm not a fan of certain sounds. I can't stand listening to my mum eating if I phone her up and she's eating crisps. In person it's not such a big deal. I used to work with someone who was a really noisy eater and I hated it but these people don't know that you have misophonia. How were they to know you suffer from this. You could have walked away and sat somewhere else

I once found myself standing up in a cinema and saying to the woman behind me “ Close your mouth when you eat! Did your mother not teach you any manners?”
Luckily for me , her friends thought it was hilarious so I didn’t get punched in the face!

Where did OP "fantasise" about "hurting" women? She explicitly does not want to lose her temper, tried very hard not to, and the only thing she described fantasising about was wanting to throw some crisps in the bin.

Turning up to bravely defend men by comparing a neurodivergent woman to domestic abusers is very bloody weird of you.

I'm autistic too and the only thing we can do is make it easier for ourselves.

Last week I was trying to have dinner with my partner and the couple next to us were so loud, it was killing me. The woman had this wobbly high-pitched voice and every time she laughed an even higher-pitched screech came out, like a dog yelping in pain. I was looking around the restaurant wondering how nobody else was reacting or seemed bothered by the sheer volume of her. Maybe they just hid it better?

That situation made me angry because we were unable to enjoy the experience we'd paid for. I couldn't think straight or hold a conversation and was jumping out of my skin every 30 seconds.

Sorry for this giant rant I just wanted to say I feel you and I'm perpetually baffled by people who are inconsiderate in public spaces. I wish it was acceptable to say something, but I think I'd only have caused a scene. Same in your case.

I don't know how to vote - I think you are being perfectly rational/reasonable to feel the way you feel, but I also think it's reasonable of people to eat crisps in public without necessarily being aware that some people might have auditory sensitivities. Most people would not be bothered by the sound of crisps and so there are quite a lot of people who don't even realise it could be an issue for anybody.

My main suggestion is to keep some spare, cheaper form of ear protection with you - DH buys boxes of 3M earplugs which are individually wrapped so good in a pinch.

My auditory sensitivity is low frequency sounds (as well as volume in general - I often wish I could turn the entire world down at once) and I can't seem to get away from them - increasingly, everything seems to need an engine and/or a fan?! Fans are especially increasing and I can't stand them. Cars are thankfully getting quieter with electric being more popular, and electric buses are wonderful after there being a period where the diesel ones seemed to get especially loud and rattly.

I have recently discovered the brilliance of ANC which does manage the volume-reducing and it does block this kind of thing much better than anything else, but there's a certain frequency that seems to get exacerbated by any physical ear-blocking, so when I do wear my headphones I can then only hear traffic, my own footsteps, my hair touching the headset as I move my head etc and to make it worse when I am in an extremely sensitive phase of this my jaw bones (????) get really sensitive to pressure and cause nausea just from the wearing of headphones. I did manage to find some looser, more comfortable headphones at least.

DC's psychiatrist suggested to think of sensory sensitivities as being sort of like allergies, and making allowances for them in that way.

Crunchy noises don't bother me, but 'wet' noises (slurping, gasping etc) make my hackles rise.

I have a dear friend of many years' standing who insists on making that 'aaah' noise after taking a sip of tea and it genuinely makes me murderous.

Unfortunately, I'm about 25 years too late to point this out. Luckily, her many, many good points outweigh this one (hideous) indiscretion.

https://www.specsavers.co.uk/ear-health/misophonia?srsltid=AfmBOopBVVtFy9RcA2elZMh94KFokM1Jb5A2yqrPQWdVJiP_PhyVjDs-

Perhaps this might enlighten you. It's not made up like you seem to think

TIL I have misophonia. I didn't realise that there was a word for it.

Cutlery banging pisses me off. We used to only have plastic plates as I couldn't stand to sit with DC eating from ceramic plates with metal cutlery. If my MIL is making a cup of tea I have to leave the kitchen. She whisks the cup really aggressively.

I carry earplugs with me everywhere ?

I don't expect crisp-eaters not to crunch, but licking fingers and pouring crumbs into your mouth are not acceptable in public regardless of whether anyone around you might have misophonia. It's just rude and gross.

Apparently vocal fry is equally common in women and men, but only women tend to be judged for it.

Obviously where it’s misophonia it’s a different thing, as that’s a sound causing you physical pain like any other sound that does that. But those without misophonia apparently often criticise women for using it but not men.

This is unfortunately a "you" problem. You have to make changes not the other person. Like my husband you seem to have an inability to realise that these are normal noises that you make too.... it took me recording my husband eating crisps for him to realise he sounded just the same when he eats crisps... He assumed the other person we eating "way more loudly" - To say he was shocked was an understatement.

I have the same. It’s very hard to live with and also hard for my children. I can’t bear the sound of crinkling bags or paper or eating. It’s torture for me.

I am with you on vocal fry. I have to switch off so many adverts and you tube things because the accompanying voice over is utilising bloody vocal fry.

I think this is ridiculous.

The OP and others with misophonia don’t actually assault people - they just use the language to describe the feelings of rage it induces.