Friend has cancelled on me last minute

@hungryowl You are not helping yourself, its time to read the room and walk away OP.

You have dug yourself a big hole and its time to start backfilling.

She isn’t bailing for a man. She doesn’t want to spend the weekend drinking and would prefer to work on her marriage ffs

Which is not the same thing !! You had an affair - so he rightly has concerns that if you’re still engaging like this with men while you’re out and drinking, there’s a lack of control - not to mention a high chance of one or other of you having their drinks spiked. And from what you’ve said throughout the thread it seems likely your friend is vulnerable so he doesn’t want her involved. I don’t blame him.

It’s yet another one of those threads where it’s hard to see why the OP has posted. It’s very clear what’s going on and yet every time it’s pointed out to OP she has a reason why that’s not the case.

But you are putting her in dangerous situations. If she has to look after you because you can’t look after yourself, that limits her ability to look after herself. These situations are prime for predatory men.

I agree and its called totally lacking self awareness and avoidance of the truth!

And its to be hoped her friend never finds this thread and the way she has been described or it may be flame throwers at dawn!

She doesn't want to hear what you or the mass majority of us are saying.

She came on her expecting she would get 100% support about how badly she has been treated and instead of reading the room she has come out fighting.

And ironically that just confirms why her friend has cancelled the holiday, because the OP not only fails to listen to subtlety but outright statements about why she is wrong. If that is what her friend was up against I sort of get why she cancelled without discussion as I sense there is a history behind this the OP was too self centred to attend to because it was contrary to what she wanted.

You cannot be serious. A weekend in Ayia Napa in your 40s. I’d rather stick my tits in a beehive.

I feel like you’ve probably railroaded your ‘friend’ into this weekend away. She’s paid what you have outstanding to get rid of you - take the hint.

Her husband isn’t controlling. Yes he doesn’t like you but if I’m being honest I think my husband would have something to say if I was going out with someone who got blind drunk, vomiting in public and dancing with random blokes too. You sound like a complete liability. You’re not a friend. You just want someone to get shit faced who will put up with you - you’ve reached the end of the line with her. The fact you have no other friends also speaks volumes.

You are the problem. Not her. Not her husband. You.

I had a friend, who didn’t have children and still thought we could go out and be 18 again. And I enjoyed the opportunity to go out and let my hair down and just be me for a night rather than mum.

We were friends for 20 years, which came abruptly to an end after we went out one night for a couple of drinks (and I left my children at home with my now husband) I was so drunk I passed out in a toilet cubicle and she left me there.

Yes it was my fault I was drunk, I did that to myself. But my best friend, my sister from another mister, left me passed out in a toilet cubicle, miles from home. Made slightly worse with the fact she didn’t ring me or message me the next day etc to check I was ok. In fact I didn’t hear from her for over a year!

We tried to build bridges, I was maid of honour at both her first and second weddings, I still made an effort, she on the other hand couldn’t even be bothered to turn up to my wedding.

Surely you have someone else you could go away with if you really want a boozy weekend away

Agree. And tits in a beehive is definitely a phrase I’m stealing 🤣

Me too, I will use it at the earliest opportunity. I laughed out loud!

Looks like OP is name changing and posting comments to back herself up 🤣🤣🤣

Move on from this. Book a singles holiday aimed at the younger travellers. Am sure you'll find plenty of 18 year olds to party with who find it fun to stumble around drunk in a nightclub.

Oh honey, she hasn’t decided just this week that she’s not going, she’s obviously been dreading it for months, compounded by the lack of contact between you.

She has literally paid you off. She is massively out of pocket and you’re not, Does that not speak volumes that she’d rather pay for both your holiday costs, than go away with you?

Stop blaming her husband. Stop thinking people are controlling just because they don’t agree with your lifestyle. Stop being the victim and having hurty feels. She’s grown out of the shenanigans and doesn’t want to go on what is essentially an 18-30 holiday anymore.

It’s a thing!

I’m calling reverse.

If this isn’t a reverse or rage bait then you sound absolutely awful. HTH.

Then you have someone to invite to go with you then. Not all friendships last a lifetime-sounds like this one has run its course.

A long weekend away maybe yes, but not booked the bars and clubs and watching somebody get wasted. If that’s the only kind of week away you want or willing to do then I’d bail too.

I'd say go on the break anyway but I doubt you can miss school or mummy will let you. This is so obvious is embarrassing.

Whats that got to do with my comment? I was pointing out that your idea of a good time obviously isn't hers - and vice versa.

A woman in her 40’s, who goes out drinking every weekend, and cheats on her significantly younger husband is fucking tragic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm more concerned that you mentioned having children and yet you're out (on the piss by the sound of it) every weekend?

What about time with your kids and husband?

Genuinely, get to therapy and work out what you're running from. I suspect there's a lot of projection and some underlying issues with disliking men...as you seem to have a real issue with her husband in particular, rather than accepting she is 42 and weekends doing DIY with hubby and going round charity shops seems a very 'normal' weekend!

Whilst there's no age limit on fun or drinking...your behaviour sounds problematic.
You said you don't "do anything" yet accept drinks from men...have you not heard of spiking?
You throw up in the street.

To be honest, I suspect your friend has had the realisation that her children are off to Uni ..thus she is no longer 'responsible' for children..yet on your nights out, it seems that YOU are the liability and need babysitting because you get in a drunken state.
Maybe she's tired of that dynamic.
Maybe she wants to "let her hair down" too, but with another adult who has self-control and can limit themselves.

She's been a decent friend to you by making sure you got home safe the time you were too drunk to do that yourself.

But I think it's time for YOU to grow up and act more responsibly.

You can still go on the break away, take a book and see the sights.

I'm younger than you and couldn't think of anything worse than ayia nappa and afterparties!!