Friend has cancelled on me last minute

No he has an issue with me because apparently I put her in dangerous situations. I’ve said I speak to men while I’m out and I’ve just had a look at other posts on here where a woman is saying her husband got annoyed she spoke to another man while she was out and everyone’s telling her to divorce him because he’s controlling!!

There’s plenty of other people on here who have posted their husband has stopped them from going somewhere and it’s been a barrage of agreement about them being controlling! Now he wants to work things out with her convieniently when we go away…

No. She’s losing me because she’s let me down for stupid reasons.

Very convenient. You said its been 2 years 😂 Do you think he's been trying to work on the relationship for 2 years to spite your one weekend away.

The drink has clearly caused you some delusion

There’s plenty of other people on here who have posted their husband has stopped them from going somewhere and it’s been a barrage of agreement about them being controlling! Now he wants to work things out with her convieniently when we go away…

I tried to call her and her husband and her husband told me I was crossing a boundary and invasion of privacy and hung up. I guess I’ll take the money she gave me and book something else. I do wonder if people are happy living these lives. I think I will stick to my husbands friends from now on, at least they know how to have a good time.

I’m very happy. I have a lot of like minded people around me. I just think that the husband is controlling that he doesn’t want her out. She’s a 42 year old woman and he tells her he’s uncomfortable her coming out with me to the pub as he thinks she could get into dangerous situations! But then he’s not got a single comment on another girl she sees and going for a drink! When I go out I get glammed up and she doesn’t anyone - she said it’s because she doesn’t need to because she just came for a drink with a friend. I’m sure her husband is telling her not to get dressed up because she’s attractive.

I find him controlling. She’s always been into boring stuff in my eyes but now she’s hit 40 it’s like she’s fully settled into being a complete adult. He advises her when he can see people using her to their benefit and got her to go to therapy and she’s turned into someone I don’t know anymore

We are going on a drinking based weekend. Dinners and clubs out. Her husband wants to work things out and doesn’t want her drinking round strangers whilst with me!

Yes please cut her off, for her benefit.

I used to have a friend like you op. She also believed she was the life and soul of the party, loved a drink and a night out in bars and clubs. She was absolutely exhausting and going out with her was like looking after a trucculant toddler. If she wasnt falling over she was smashed in the corner or having an argument with a randomer. She would 'flirt' which actually involved her draping herself over uninterested men or integrating herself into groups of people who did not want her there at all. It was utterly embarrassing, yet she had no insight whatsoever and often needed wrestling into a taxi ( she once offered to pay the driver in kind)

Then was the next day when she was hungover. She could be absolutely spiteful and horrible. She would apologise for that a day or so later, then the whole sorry carousel would start again.

Before you say anything and call me boring, I am not a 'sober sally' or whatever you call it. I like a drink too but equally I know my limits these days and am happy with a wine or three and a nice meal. So are most of my similarly age friends in their 40's.

You need to stop making drinking your main focus or you will lose most of your friends. You dont need to stop drinking as long as you are able to curb bad behaviour and do things other than clubs and bars

@hungryowl how awful she has decided not to go because you will drink and youre being painted as some scarlet lady who she shouldnt spend time with.

I dont drink, my friends do. We go clubbing and eating out etc - it's fine, we all have a good time inc sober me!

So it sounds to me like she can't control herself & instead of admitting that, shes pulled out and said she wants to chill instead.

Ok thats her perogative. Dont cut her off. Accept she can change her mind and did the roght thing telling you in time so you could hopefully find another +1.

The question is - do you know anyone who could go with you instead at short notice?

Exactly this. And she’d rather lose DOUBLE the amount of her holiday than go away with OP. She just wants to draw a line under it all.

I would absolutely love to hear her side of the story!

OP I think you need to consider why your friend paid you the money for the whole holiday and not just her share. That suggests to me that she knows you’ll have difficulty finding someone else to go with you. Maybe something to think about.

I’m very happy. I have a lot of like minded people around me. I just think that the husband is controlling that he doesn’t want her out. She’s a 42 year old woman and he tells her he’s uncomfortable her coming out with me to the pub as he thinks she could get into dangerous situations! But then he’s not got a single comment on another girl she sees and going for a drink! When I go out I get glammed up and she doesn’t anyone - she said it’s because she doesn’t need to because she just came for a drink with a friend. I’m sure her husband is telling her not to get dressed up because she’s attractive.

Like I said she used to come out to everything and let her hair down. She would text all day and call weekly. That doesn’t happen after her husband got her to start therapy and she’s become selfish

She is dropping them off this week so that’s already done before we were due to go away.