Friend has cancelled on me last minute

😂😂😂 Of course she's settled into being a complete adult by the age of 40. Most people manage that by the age of 30, with the responsibilities of work and family life. It sounds like her husband has got your measure and realised you are a poor influence on her and from your posts I can quite see why. I think you have to accept that your old friendship is dead and either you learn to be friends with the person she has become or find new ones.

Oh OP, can you hear yourself.

Maybe you should be thinking she is letting you down because she needs to work on her marriage. And selfishly you think you should be a priority. You are not coming across well at all on this thread, so yes, definitely end the friendship for her sake, and you can find other friends to go out and get pissed with.

Personally, i find people who are drunk so boring. Seeing a drunk person through sober eyes, you just think what a dickhead they are.

So, bugger off and leave her alone.

🎣

I quoted, verbatim, what you said she told you. Why are you so deaf to hear it?
I am not surprised that a woman that does not want to drink does not want to go on a break on a boozy weekend to clubs and bars. That is enough in itself.
Let alone going on a break with someone that, she says, has not 'made the effort'. And then when you do see her you lay into her husband.

Why do you think she would want to spend time on you? Please be honest and from her perspective answer that.

And your audacity at aligning yourself as 'family' against her actual husband. You are not her actual sister and are not family. Just let this poor woman be free!

Presumably this is a reverse?

What's the problem? She's paid in full - nothing to stop you still going OP!

Invite another friend who likes a Boozey Weekend!

Sounds like she's had enough of drinking and wants sobriety. You aren't on the same page so you are no longer compatible really. You're very derisive of her decision and choices so you're not much of a friend to lose are you.

Maybe she's outgrown you. You sound like you think your 17 both in the friend attitude and the fact the weekend was based all around clubbing and drinking!
It's not fair she bailed on you but come on. You said your life long friends, how about being supportive? All you've done is slag her off!

I’m with you - this can’t be real, surely!

Nah, this ain’t real, nobody can be this much of a twat.

I don’t even know you and I agree with her husband you haven’t grown up. You sound so immature

Sounds like you have grown apart

ypu still want to party and she’s no longer interested in boozy weekends away

cant you take someone else who is more on your wavelength?

Why did you book drinking based activities when she explicitly told you that she wanted a chill weekend and you know she’s been cutting down on drinking?

You didn’t get the hints and basically left her with no choice but to pull out.

A drinking weekend sounds boring to me, but everyone has different interests and it sounds like you and your friends’ interests no longer align but you’re unwilling to compromise.

Hasn't it occurred to you she's simply lost the taste for drinking alcohol and can enjoy herself without it? Alternatively she may have found she was too dependent on alcohol for various reasons and is exercising self-control in not giving in to the urge to drink? Either way she is to be commended, not criticised. Incidentally once I was past the menopause I found I wanted to drink less and less and am now basically a non-drinker and perfectly relaxed about it.

Whether you think he's good enough for her is meaningless. It's her marriage! It's up to her to decide if she wants to try to keep her husband. It has nothing to do with you.

Why do you need to go off and speak to men when you’re out socialising with your pal? She’s got no interest speaking to some random guys so it’s rude of you to be chatting to them when on a night out with her. You sound like a teenager rather than a woman in her 40s.

Are you a big drinker?

You don’t sound very nice.

She isn't bailing to prioritise a man, you told us in the first post she told us

"she no longer really fancies boozy weekends and she feels that I haven’t made an effort to reach out at all in recent months and just doesn’t want to go anymore!" These are 3 valid reasons to not want to go, but the main one that is screaming out that you seem unable to accept is that she does not want to drink anymore and that is why she does not want a boozy weekend, how hard is it to understand that?

Maybe you should prioritise yours? You sound unhappy.

She's having a hard time and priorising her family. She's paid what she owed. Find someone else to go with. You sound like a shitty controlling friend.

I was thinking that. Or at least a reverse of the genders.

How many people on here are going to support their husband going on a bender with a known cheat who is preaching that the grass is greener on the other side?Particuarly if they have been going through a rocky patch in their marriage recently.

I'm not even going to mention the recovering alcoholic aspect of this...

OP, your friend “specified that at 42 she no longer really fancies boozy weekends” - and yet you’ve booked a boozy weekend that you’re surprised she doesn’t want to go on.
“I don’t like her husband and have been questioning her relationship with him to her whilst they have been arguing and advising heavily to leave him” - this is not the act of a friend. You are blaming her husband who (not unreasonably) takes a dim view of your infidelity, and probably regards you as a bad influence if his wife is trying to cut down drinking and you are all about the clubs and drinking. Your friend “needs to focus on her family and not have a boozy weekend away” - how is this unreasonable, especially if she herself has asked her husband to help her to cut down on the booze, which you are interpreting as “controlling”?
You say of your friend that she’s “spending more and more time with him (husband) and I feel like we are losing our connection.” So are you in fact jealous of her husband? You want her to be less of a wife to her husband and more of a friend to you? You then add, “I want to go out and be social like we normally are and she’s being extremely boring” - for not wanting to go out in the lash. I’m sorry, OP, but it seems your friend’s priorities have shifted, while you are still behaving as you always have done. Trying to separate your friend from her husband, though, is nothing short of wrong, and you can’t be surprised that he doesn’t like you. You say your friend says that “she feels that I haven’t made an effort to reach out at all in recent months” - so from her POV, you’re only there for her when it’s doing something that suits you. It sounds as though you have grown apart. If you want to cut her off, do so - it doesn’t sound as though you will be a great loss to her.