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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed by my husband's rude morning behaviour?

207 replies

Bronzeacorn · 07/09/2026 09:30

This might be perimenopausal rage so just need you ladies to tell me if I'm being unreasonable.
Every morning I get up before my DD, I pack her lunch and schoolbag, make her breakfast, feed the dog, log on to work,make sure she gets out of bed on time and washes face/brushes teeth/gets dressed then I sit at the table with her chatting to her and simultaneously working on my laptop while she eats breakfast.

My DH usually works weekends so hes off during the week but he gets up 20 mins after DD (1hr 20mins after me) and barely says hello. He goes and sits in the living room and has his coffee alone, then after me and DD have usually had a pretty calm nice morning he will emerge from his solitude to start angrily rushing DD as he is the one who walks her to school.
Today my mum very kindly called during the morning and took a basket of our laundry to do as our washing machine packed up, it was a very kind offer from her so i was very grateful but DH barely said hello to her and didn't come into the kitchen at all while my mum sat and had coffee with me and DD.

I know I'm kind of being a martyr listing all the things I do but like I don't even care that I do everything if he wasn't so bloody rude.
Hes going through ND diagnosis so perhaps that's a factor but still AIBU to be annoyed about his rudeness?

OP posts:
Bronzeacorn · 07/09/2026 09:48

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 07/09/2026 09:47

I need a good hour in the mornings before I feel human enough to have a decent conversation. I certainly wouldn’t want to be having a nice chat and a coffee with my MIL.

Even if she called to do you a favour?

OP posts:
beaglescurleduplikebagels · 07/09/2026 09:47

I need a good hour in the mornings before I feel human enough to have a decent conversation. I certainly wouldn’t want to be having a nice chat and a coffee with my MIL.

thereisnothingleft · 07/09/2026 09:44

dh always complains how antisocial I am in the mornings. I just need time to wake up. He sorts dc breakfasts and seems to be full of energy. That was a great thing when dc were toddlers/babies as he could easily wake up at five to entertain them. I was breast feeding and awaken several times because of dc so I got little lie in. Now there is not that excuse anymore so I am just lazy according to him.

Greenmouldycheese · 07/09/2026 09:43

Some people arent morning people and need time to come around. Im not sociable in the morning either, it makes me feel physically ill. Im so fed up of everyone wanting to be nd. Its so ridiculous.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 07/09/2026 09:39

I’m not great in the morning. A guy in our office has even said to me how sociable I am but very quiet first thing in the morning.

NewAgain26 · 07/09/2026 09:39

It sounds like he's just not a morning person to me.

I can see why you might be interpreting him as rude - but to me it just sounds like he's being quiet. Not everyone is a morning person.

This is Mumsnet - so everyones going to jump on him possibly being ND - which he might be. But to me it just sounds like he takes time to get himself awake.

I doubt he's suddenly started behaving this way too.

BCBird · 07/09/2026 09:36

He could be a rude individual or it could be he is not sociable in the morning. I am a very sociable person. I love company, however first thing in the morning i do not want anyone to speak to me AT ALL!! If I am forced to be up and around others my solution would be to have my morning tea alone or I would purposely put my alarm on earlier so I have time to come around gradually. He should be leaving plenty of time to get your daughter to school in a calm way.

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