AIBU to be annoyed by my husband's rude morning behaviour?

I agree with youOP and I am not a morning person at all but there are times when basic manners should be used .

By 9 am I've had multiple cups of tea, breakfast, showered, commuted, I am fully awake.

Also you shouldn't have to maintain professional levels of courtesy at home, otherwise you'd never be totally honest with each other, have arguments etc

I think he's being too rude but that doesn't mean all of us who aren't morning people are faking it!

How people behave is a choice. I'm often absolutely exhausted by the evening but I don't just decide that it means I can treat people like crap.

If you're happier without him then I don't understand why you stay with him. If he works weekends he's not likely to have that much time with DD, surely it's better to have an amazing life with her 80% of the time than a depressing life 100% of the time.

You're completely right - To half ignore anyone who comes into your home is fucking rude, especially if they are helping you out!

Sorry, I did not ask about tightness with money and neither did I ask if he 'would let you'. I asked if he had a good heart meaning - no words necessary, he has compassion and will do what is required in the hour of need, without being asked or prompted, no hesitation.

It doesn’t take 2 people to make a coffee.

If you made your mum a coffee and said thank you to her for collecting the laundry, then that should suffice. Your husband doesn’t need to follow suit.

But you Battle through and still do what your kids need, despite not being up for it, because you’re a good parent. He does nothing but get angry. He’s giving non-morning people like you a bad rep, why are you on his side 😂

You say you can't bear to live without your daughter OP, which is entirely understandable, but if you you separated, how likely is it that your misery guts husband would press for 50/50 custody?

What if OP wasn’t a morning person? Would it be ok for a young child to be ignored/talked to like shit and receive no help at all getting ready for the day? “We’re just not morning people” wouldnt fly to social services I don’t think 😂 Ridiculous excuse

Does he have a good heart? Meaning if your mum needed an operation and NHS was choc-a-bloc, would he immediately tell you to empty your savings to pay for her or would he say 'But we planned a holiday/new kitchen this year'? If the answer is yes, please leave him alone.

I know a person (my friend's dh) who did not like his MIL, never was chatty or rarely acknowledged her, but when she fell seriously ill, told his wife 'bring the old bat home, we need to look after her'. Paid for her surgery, she lived with them for several years, made their lives difficult. The 'old bat' had no money to leave them, she lived in a council flat. That was real love, in my opinion, not stupid diamonds or flowers, or romantic dinners, etc. So if your dh is like that, leave him alone, let him be huffy.

I used to think I was a morning person until I lodged (I was a student) with a family whose grandma came round at 7am several days a week and expected me to make bright conversation while I was having breakfast. It was absolute torture.

In your position I would find out what the specific issue with your husband is - it sounds as though he is not a morning person, but he needs to get his temper under control, unless your children are genuinely messing about.

it doesn’t matter if he’s unsociable but he’s so fucking lazy! Get him to get dd ready during the week while you just get yourself up for work and then swap over at weekends. I bet at weekends currently he just gets himself up and not a thought to anyone else? Yes, keep thinking of how much easier it will be without him!

What a selfish, rude and lazy man.
so many people excusing him saying he may be ND or “not a morning person” This does not get you out of parenting or adulting and responsibilities.
He has essentially checked out of all morning parenting. Has a 1hr 20min lie-in every morning for himself while his wife does all the parenting and all the jobs. Then he has the audacity to get up, come downstairs and be RUDE and moody. Ffs. I would have zero patience with this.

Sounds like he's not just rude in the mornings - ltb

No you don't. People who say this nonsense are just trying to give themselves an excuse to be nasty.

You need to tell him that his behaviour is killing your love and respect for him and you are questioning whether you want to stay in the marriage.

Is it hell him being ND...that's just him finding an excuse to be an arse! Some of our family are ND and still manage to be polite, even if they don't want to talk much. And yes some people are not good first thing, but again, there's no need to be horrible to other people.

You don't want to leave, I understand why (but having done exactly that, I can tell you life is a lot easier without this kind of behaviour in it), but if you're staying, then please be careful what you wish for - you might be better leaving him to behave badly in the other room than try and change him, much less hassle for you and DD that way, as he's not going to change; he's already shown you that by "trying" and then reverting to being a misery guts.

Oh and one final thing...you are not responsible for him being rude to other people, my ex was often like that and I used to apologise for him...but it really isn't you who needs to be apologetic.

Yes it is rude.Have you spoken to him about it?He could at least say Hello or Good Morning

I am not a morning person!

If I had my way, I wouldn’t speak to anyone for at least an hour.

But I’m not rude!
I intentionally wake up early to allow me the luxury of waking up slowly but if I had to speak to someone then I would.

He’s rude and it’s nothing to do with his ‘ND’

But what I can’t get my head around is why he wakes up so late??

Surely if he’s not working during the week, he should be the one to wake up early and get DD ready for school?
Just like you should do this on the weekend when he’s working?