Am I being unreasonable here?
We went to my MIL's BBQ on Saturday and most of the family were there. I left feeling really upset and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting.
Throughout the whole day, my MIL barely acknowledged me, my husband (her own son) or our youngest daughter. At one point, her niece was talking about her daughter who plays football, and my MIL said, "I'll have to come and watch her play one day." My husband then pointed out that our daughter plays football too, but MIL completely ignored the comment and carried on as if nothing had been said.
Later, MIL was chatting away to her niece's older son about school, joking that he hadn't had detention yet. My eldest daughter is in the same year at the same school, so I mentioned how well she's doing. Again, no interest, no follow-up questions, just completely dismissed.
To make matters worse, my husband's stepdad then started questioning our parenting and commented that we let our youngest get away with too much. For context, our youngest has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. She's loud, energetic and can be hard work at times, but we absolutely do not let her do whatever she wants. In fact, parenting her has been one of the biggest challenges we've faced and has taken a huge toll on my mental health. Comments like that really sting because they have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and are judging a situation they know very little about.
My husband isn't particularly bothered because they rarely make an effort with us anyway, but I find it genuinely upsetting. I got to the point where I just wanted to leave and go home and cry.
Then, to top it all off, my MIL once again started telling a story about my husband and his ex. The event happened over 20 years ago, but I've heard this same story at virtually every family gathering during the 15 years I've been with him. My husband agrees it's disrespectful, but he's very laid back and doesn't want any drama.
What hurts most is that my eldest daughter is now starting to notice the difference in how we're treated compared with other family members.
Am I being unreasonable for saying that I no longer want to attend family gatherings, and that I don't particularly want my daughters attending either, especially when they're starting to pick up on the favouritism and lack of interest themselves?