To think the “red flag” documentaries should be played at school

It is always strange when posters just post sourceless quotes and expect others to just go “oh yes, you just be right on the basis of that”

The “red flag” in this thread is the fact that @sodoffbeforemycupofcoff doesn’t think year 6 pupils should be receiving a biology lesson about sex.

Oh I see, you're being pedantic about the wording.

Not either / or but as well.

I’d rather my girls were educated and trained to protect themselves than wait until the halcyon times when men step up.

Rather than it once again being girls be safe, girls watch out for abuse and protect yourself, girls don’t walk home along this route, girls make sure you don’t drink from an open glass. Why doesn’t society try and actually tackle the issue of male violence and abuse against females?

I share the concerns that schools are being asked to do too much detracting from the core educational function.

However if you are going to have sex education providers that present a variety of practices such as choking as being in the ordinary round and fail to cover what can happen emotionally in intimate relationships or touch on the dangers and risks particularly to girls, , then surely it’s not much of a stretch to include a focus on healthy and non healthy relationships.

Sorry, removed post as I’d misunderstood!

I think the op meant ‘educated’ about the problem behaviour young girls should watch out for, not how much academic education they had had.

I agree OP. When I was young I’d have had no idea, for example, that love bombing is not a sign of wonderful, enduring, life long true love to come from a ‘prince’, but a sign of trouble.

In my opinion though most protection comes from emotional stability at home, a good example at home, and parents especially fathers who are ‘present’ mentally and bother with their girls in good ways.

I think you’re right op but I have hope. I don’t know if it’s social media (or their mother banging on about it since birth 😉) but my DDs and their mates seem far more tuned into red flag behaviour than previous young generations. I hear them talking about it and they choose their male friends accordingly.

I still say though, the biggest influence on young people is the role models they grow up with. Education can only do so much.

I agree. I understand that schools have enough to do and are already expected to parent by proxy, but introducing basic education around abuse and coercive control would fit into the same framework as the teaching around consent.

And I can only imagine that teaching all young people about how to recognise, avoid and call out controlling and abusive behaviour in relationships would be beneficial to society as a whole.

The ones called 'Red Flag', on BBC I Player, I think that part is pretty straightforward!

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&rct=j&url=www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002x7fx/red-flag&ved=2ahUKEwjOyvWY-duWAxVqR0EAHcfABQwQy_kOegoIAggACAAIAxAD&opi=89978449&cd&psig=AOvVaw3PAKoyTGxVQNx1JAcgu6nK&ust=1788852552906000

I have talked to both DD and DS about red/green flags since they were little. Always age appropriate but I thought it was important that they both recognise the signs of toxic, abusive people who will bring no joy to their lives as friends or partners.

(When they hit the teenage years they particularly enjoyed 'Red flag guy' from youtube)

I don't think this is a schools responsibility though, it was ours as parents.

Agree too!

Some of this is covered in PSHE, although possibly not in huge detail. I have shown my daughter some appropriate age episodes of Catfish and if there’s something that comes up in a tv programme I will often ask her what she thinks. Showing documentaries or clips could be useful, but I don’t think it should necessarily be compulsory.

I agree and as someone who is currently reading 'Why does he do that?' By Lundy Bancroft as I try to unpick myself from a very damaging relationship, I think that it should be essential reading for high-schools.

Are teachers born knowing them? Or can parents learn them in the same way teachers can?

But what if they have no clue themselves what red flags should warn them off a relationship?

it’s not like we’re born knowing!

Which documentaries?

No.

What has led you to conclude abuse is an “epidemic”

Are you joking?

What is odd is the OP horrified by year 6 pupils having biology lessons about sex

I hope the OP meant uneducated as in uneducated when it comes to recognising abuse etc not GCSEs/A levels/degrees

As. OK said a lot of this stuff is covered in PSHE, I know my daughter learnt about unhealthy relationships in year 8/9