Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I feel so tired all the time

17 replies

gillyflower8 · Yesterday 20:02

Just that really. I work 4 days a week 9-3 and have one day off to catch up on housework. On my working days I take dc to school then go straight to work and leave and do school run again. Get home, clean, tidy, prep dinner, baths and bed etc. Weekends usually quite busy with activities and clubs. Try to catch up on errands and chores on my day off. One of my dc still co sleeps but it isn’t particularly disruptive to any of us.

I feel knackered. I know people work full time and still do everything I do but I just never feel rested or on top of things. It’s the mental load too, Dh works full time in a big job and so most of it falls on me. We have no family support and haven’t had a break since before our youngest (now 5) was born. My diet is ok, I do drink probably more than I should but not horrendous amounts - maybe 2 bottles of wine over 4-5 days. I know that won’t help. I’m 40 and could be approaching peri but I feel so drained. It’s relentless. I’m trying to still maintain friendships and a social life but I feel like there is just no time for anything other than family and the daily grind. Should I be taking some sort of vitamins? Iron levels were ok last time I got checked.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Pearlyb · Today 00:44

Just thinking out loud - is it possible for you to increase your working hours and have the kids in wraparound care 4 days a week? That way you'll be running around a lot less, and no excuse for your DH to not pick up more slack in the evenings?

Pearlyb · Today 00:39

Yeah your DH shouldn't be there to "help" you with the kids and the household - looking after the house and the children are also his responsibilities, not something he is there to help you with. Reframe your thinking. Why is he getting a free pass for the sake of working an extra day? Make sure each of you gets equal free time on the weekends and evenings. Make a chores chart and start dividing things more equally between the two of you.

Cut the drinking, it's a slippery slope and not a good coping mechanism at all. You don't want to slip into burn out and alcoholism!

Best of luck xx

OliviaBonas · Yesterday 23:09

familyissues12345 · Yesterday 21:42

I always feel tired, it’s rare that I feel rested, and I only work part time, don’t have young children so no school runs and lazy mornings at the weekend!

Something that has definitely helped recently was some “energy” gummies from Boots. Haven’t got them to hand at the moment, but they have the vit b’s that are linked to energy in them

I take these twice daily too and once when I ran out I noticed the difference within a few days. I get the Berocca ones if the boots ones have sold out.

RedTulip86 · Yesterday 23:03

Cut our alcohol.
Reduce screens and take magnesium glycinate before bedtime

If your DH works full time then he must be at home sometimes- it’s his house and kids too so he must do his share (not “help”).
Get kids involved as well.
Let your day off be your day off-do whatever you want- sleep or watch tv, forget about cleaning.

Original poster
gillyflower8 · Yesterday 22:34

Screamingabdabz · Yesterday 22:30

So you do everything, you are running around after multiple kids, you do 10k steps daily AND you work four days a week and wonder why you’re exhausted? It’s not a mystery. You’re burnt out. Your DH needs to do more.

Edited

Dh is just not around as much as I am. He works full time hours whereas I work part time so I expect to pick up some of the slack with the dc and the house. But yeah I think I’m pretty drained mentally and physically. I can’t seem to switch off even at the weekends, there is usually some place to take the dc be it a sporting event or a party or whatever. Dh does help with that sort of stuff.

I don’t think I’m doing anything too different to loads of other parents, I’m probably luckier in the sense I work less hours but I feel like I’m drowning sometimes.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · Yesterday 22:34

If your dh has a big job why are you both not getting some breaks. Get a regular babysitter..local older student..and start having a life. Also just try for one month to have no alcohol and l can bet you would feel so much more energetic. Three sober nights a week is far too little for a Mom with young children.
You are listening to a lie in your head telling you it won't make for a better life.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · Yesterday 22:33

Screamingabdabz · Yesterday 22:30

So you do everything, you are running around after multiple kids, you do 10k steps daily AND you work four days a week and wonder why you’re exhausted? It’s not a mystery. You’re burnt out. Your DH needs to do more.

Edited

This

Screamingabdabz · Yesterday 22:30

So you do everything, you are running around after multiple kids, you do 10k steps daily AND you work four days a week and wonder why you’re exhausted? It’s not a mystery. You’re burnt out. Your DH needs to do more.

mumumental · Yesterday 22:19

Get help with the cleaning etc out of the big salary. Brook no debate about it.

Original poster
gillyflower8 · Yesterday 22:16

As tragic as it sounds, I do look forward to a glass of wine at the weekend. But if I overdo it (even more than a glass really) I do notice I feel even worse the next morning. Not unwell, just tired. I definitely need to adjust some habits and try to find a better way to unwind. I have at least 3 nights sober per week and feel tired even on those days though.

OP posts:
familyissues12345 · Yesterday 21:42

I always feel tired, it’s rare that I feel rested, and I only work part time, don’t have young children so no school runs and lazy mornings at the weekend!

Something that has definitely helped recently was some “energy” gummies from Boots. Haven’t got them to hand at the moment, but they have the vit b’s that are linked to energy in them

pilates · Yesterday 21:38

Agree cut out alcohol it doesn’t help with sleep. Have you got a partner? You have a lot on your plate. Make sure you’re eating healthily and drinking water. Have you tried magnesium glycinate it helps with sleep?

Candleabra · Yesterday 21:15

I would cut out the alcohol. 2 bottles every 4/5 days is a lot I think and won’t be helping your sleep.

Covidwoes · Yesterday 21:13

What was your ferritin level OP? NHS ‘normal’ ferritin levels are woeful.

opalfruits76 · Yesterday 21:12

Cut out the alcohol- that will help you have a rested sleep and you will feel loads better for it!

Original poster
gillyflower8 · Yesterday 20:48

Well I had my iron tested as I was having some bowel issues and it all just came back as normal so I presumed I wasn’t deficient. Not sure about vitamin B or other things.

I do at least 10,000 steps a day and try to go the gym weekly but sometimes don’t manage it because I feel knackered and demotivated. I just see other people running around as much or more than I am but seemingly coping.

OP posts:
zurigo · Yesterday 20:05

When you say your iron levels were okay, what do you mean? How were your B vitamin levels? What about thyroid function? How much sleep are you getting? Do you exercise?

I also feel utterly wiped out sometimes, but I can usually tell why. I had low iron for ages and only really got to grips with what a healthy level is recently. Many women seem to have low iron and not even know. We just go through life feeling wiped out and not understanding why.

Swipe left for the next trending thread