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Original poster

Another selfish man thread

184 replies

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:42

Not after any pearls of wisdom but would be nice to vent

DH is mostly rubbish at DIY but admittedly is shit hot at putting together flat pack furniture

My dad is a joiner so I defer to him when I actually need holes drilling in the wall. I need a curtain pole putting up, so he’s very kindly offered to come this afternoon and put it up for US. The US is the important bit.

DH has just announced that he’s going to the gym - I’m like er no can you wait until later until after dad has been to do the curtain pole. Cue a mini tantrum from a 55 year old man about why can’t I help him instead.

I had to mansplain to him that actually it’s highly inappropriate to be out at the gym when my 76 year old dad comes over to do a job for us.

Send wine and chocolate

honestly it doesn’t warrant a leave the bastard but sometimes I do wonder………

OP posts:
Cosimarocks · 07/09/2026 10:59

Apart from maintaining outdated and rather awful stereotypes, what stops you from learning the skills required to put up a curtain pole?
A man’s level of worth or respect should not be based on his ability to do DIY any more than a woman’s should be based on their ability to cook or do the bloody ironing. If you want to stop relying on your aging father for these things then maybe learn the skills yourself.
You’ve made no other comment on your husband’s abilities in other things so presumably he plays an otherwise decent role in your and your children’s lives. Stop picking on him for being crap at a skill that he doesn’t have and shouldn’t be obligated, purely based upon his sex, to have.
My FIL is terrible at DIY, my MIL is brilliant. And we just had our kitchen and bathroom put in, and all the tiling done by an incredibly skilled woman who runs her own business.
Based on what you write, and the expectations you (and perhaps too your father ) have of what your partner should be able to do, I’m not at all surprised he’d rather not be on hand to be made to feel the shame of not being able to put up a curtain rail. But why don’t you feel a similar shame?

MyObservations · 07/09/2026 14:13

Yes, it's called misandry!

Imaginingdragonsagain · 07/09/2026 16:43

Contain4 · 07/09/2026 08:19

apparently has her hands full looking after twins who, again by normal reckoning you'd figure must be 10+ (and therefore not in need of constant supervision).

I’m assuming the twins must be under 3 which is why she’s not able to help or do it herself without a second parent present.

I think OP is not saying their ages and got defensive because she felt people would be rude and judge her for being an older mum.

Edited

I think from reading previous posts OP did put in their ages an then deleted it.

Mindgardner · 07/09/2026 18:43

InterIgnis · 06/09/2026 15:49

It’s a curtain pole. It will take, being generous, all of five minutes for one person to do.

Show quote history

I put up our new curtain pole last week it took me well over an hour and it needed 2 folk. I am experienced DIYer.

ArghY11already · 07/09/2026 20:00

Contain4 · 07/09/2026 08:19

apparently has her hands full looking after twins who, again by normal reckoning you'd figure must be 10+ (and therefore not in need of constant supervision).

I’m assuming the twins must be under 3 which is why she’s not able to help or do it herself without a second parent present.

I think OP is not saying their ages and got defensive because she felt people would be rude and judge her for being an older mum.

Edited

OP said they were 7

Female123456 · 07/09/2026 20:55

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:42

Not after any pearls of wisdom but would be nice to vent

DH is mostly rubbish at DIY but admittedly is shit hot at putting together flat pack furniture

My dad is a joiner so I defer to him when I actually need holes drilling in the wall. I need a curtain pole putting up, so he’s very kindly offered to come this afternoon and put it up for US. The US is the important bit.

DH has just announced that he’s going to the gym - I’m like er no can you wait until later until after dad has been to do the curtain pole. Cue a mini tantrum from a 55 year old man about why can’t I help him instead.

I had to mansplain to him that actually it’s highly inappropriate to be out at the gym when my 76 year old dad comes over to do a job for us.

Send wine and chocolate

honestly it doesn’t warrant a leave the bastard but sometimes I do wonder………

unless your dad needs his help
i cant see why this would be a problem
why does he need to be there when you dad is doing the job?
i get the US bit
but cant he show his gratitude to your dad later?
i would let him go

Bleachedjeans · 07/09/2026 20:55

Why don’t people get it? Of course it looks bad if her DH swans off to the gym while her 76 father does their DIY. Her DH looks like a cheeky entitled twat. He should stick around and help. I agree with OP 100%.

FudgeFudy · 07/09/2026 21:15

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. A decent husband would not only be there, he would also have bought a bottle of champagne and written a certificate of appreciation to present to your dad as he descended the stepladder for the final time. Maybe alert the local press and get some party poppers for the twins to set off. Then in each anniversary of this great feat he'd bake a curtain pole shaped cake.

Kittylickingplate · 09/09/2026 03:17

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:52

Actually no I’m not 🤣

in your first post you didn’t ask their age you just said so? Then you edited it

my husband being 55 gives absolutely no indication of how old my children are

Show quote history

I am not getting people's aggression, I had a baby at 42 and mu husband was 53 at the time. People can be so weird of here.
Vent away OP, you have my support and he is being a rude man baby.

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