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Original poster

Another selfish man thread

184 replies

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:42

Not after any pearls of wisdom but would be nice to vent

DH is mostly rubbish at DIY but admittedly is shit hot at putting together flat pack furniture

My dad is a joiner so I defer to him when I actually need holes drilling in the wall. I need a curtain pole putting up, so he’s very kindly offered to come this afternoon and put it up for US. The US is the important bit.

DH has just announced that he’s going to the gym - I’m like er no can you wait until later until after dad has been to do the curtain pole. Cue a mini tantrum from a 55 year old man about why can’t I help him instead.

I had to mansplain to him that actually it’s highly inappropriate to be out at the gym when my 76 year old dad comes over to do a job for us.

Send wine and chocolate

honestly it doesn’t warrant a leave the bastard but sometimes I do wonder………

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/09/2026 16:04

This post is weird.

Even I can put up a curtain pole and I’m shite at DIY.

You just drill holes and pop it up. Easy.

Whaleandsnail6 · 06/09/2026 16:03

I genuinely don't think what your dh is doing is wrong.

He's your dad and you will be home for a brew and a catch up after he has done the pole?

Why exactly do you think its selfish?

HappySummerFun · 06/09/2026 16:01

LarryForPrimeMinister · 06/09/2026 16:00

Poor kids probably want to escape with him. 😂

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Then that's settled. They can all escape to the gym, and OP can help put up the curtain pole.

Or maybe OP can go out too, and the twins can help their grandad?

IDasIX · 06/09/2026 16:01

Radioheads · 06/09/2026 15:49

Your husband clearly has zero self respect or shame.
It would give me the ick.

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Where is the posters self respect and shame that she can’t do a simple DIY task?

LarryForPrimeMinister · 06/09/2026 16:00

HappySummerFun · 06/09/2026 15:57

He can run off, so long as he takes the kids.

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Poor kids probably want to escape with him. 😂

IDasIX · 06/09/2026 16:00

DahliaDelights · 06/09/2026 15:47

I'd tell him to go to the gym to get out the way; embarrassing enough to have to call your dad over for putting up a curtain rail, for him to actually be there while the elderly father is up the ladder doing the blue job on his behalf is more than I could bare.

It’s just as embarrassing that adult OP can’t put up the curtain pole as it is that her DH can’t. Blue job! Do you think her lady brain is incapable of drilling three holes?

Plump82 · 06/09/2026 15:57

In your post you said and I quote "I need a curtain pole putting up"

If I asked my dad for help, id expect to be around but wouldn't think twice of my husband going out. You're making a massive mountain out a mole hill. Why does your husband have to be the DIY person, why can't you? If I put my mind to it, I'm pretty sure you could put it up yourself.

IberianLynx · 06/09/2026 15:57

Agree with the OP. Totally disrespectful to know that someone is visiting you to help out and you bugger off to the gym. Sounds selfish/rude to me. Next time your in laws visit, I would return the favour and go out! See how he likes you disrespecting his parents.

redskyAtNigh · 06/09/2026 15:57

Maybe your DH is going to the gym as he doesn't want to have to face your dad explaing that he really should be able to put up a curtain pole?

And also, he doesn't need to be there. I (a mere woman) have put up a curtain pole on my own. It's not a huge spectator sport. If your dad had been invited round for a general visit then agree it would be rude for DH to go out.

HappySummerFun · 06/09/2026 15:57

LarryForPrimeMinister · 06/09/2026 15:56

Are you just in a shit mood and looking for a argument? No wonder your husband wants to run off to the gym. Blimey.

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He can run off, so long as he takes the kids.

HappySummerFun · 06/09/2026 15:56

Tell him he's welcome to go wherever he pleases and take the twins with him.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 06/09/2026 15:56

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:52

Actually no I’m not 🤣

in your first post you didn’t ask their age you just said so? Then you edited it

my husband being 55 gives absolutely no indication of how old my children are

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Are you just in a shit mood and looking for a argument? No wonder your husband wants to run off to the gym. Blimey.

UndoRedo · 06/09/2026 15:56

DahliaDelights · 06/09/2026 15:47

I'd tell him to go to the gym to get out the way; embarrassing enough to have to call your dad over for putting up a curtain rail, for him to actually be there while the elderly father is up the ladder doing the blue job on his behalf is more than I could bare.

Blue job? Unless a job actually requires the use of a penis I don't understand this categorisation

NotMajorTom · 06/09/2026 15:55

Radioheads · 06/09/2026 15:49

Your husband clearly has zero self respect or shame.
It would give me the ick.

Show quote history

Oh here we go. To be a real man he has to be good at “manly” things like DIY. Otherwise he’s an embarrassment.

Original poster
Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:52

risingup · 06/09/2026 15:49

What's funny? That I asked you how old your twins are? Are you going to tell us?

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Actually no I’m not 🤣

in your first post you didn’t ask their age you just said so? Then you edited it

my husband being 55 gives absolutely no indication of how old my children are

OP posts:
ThisSunnyBea · 06/09/2026 15:52

It doesn’t need both of you and it’s your dad. Can’t see why he can’t go out. Twins you say?

BeeCucumber · 06/09/2026 15:51

Twins!

risingup · 06/09/2026 15:49

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:47

Funny 🤣

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What's funny? That I asked you how old your twins are? Are you going to tell us?

Radioheads · 06/09/2026 15:49

Glamghirl · 06/09/2026 15:47

I get it. I would be mortified. My dad is a joiner too and helps us out a lot, my husband would never leave while he's here doing jobs for us.

Your husband clearly has zero self respect or shame.
It would give me the ick.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 06/09/2026 15:49

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:47

Funny 🤣

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So they are older then. Unless they're a newborn you can take 5 minutes to help put up a curtain pole.

InterIgnis · 06/09/2026 15:49

Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:47

Funny 🤣

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It’s a curtain pole. It will take, being generous, all of five minutes for one person to do.

Original poster
Tummytroublesagain1 · 06/09/2026 15:47

Glamghirl · 06/09/2026 15:47

I get it. I would be mortified. My dad is a joiner too and helps us out a lot, my husband would never leave while he's here doing jobs for us.

Exactly! Thank you

OP posts:
Milkkshake · 06/09/2026 15:47

risingup · 06/09/2026 15:46

So ?

How old are they anyway? Surely they must be older if your dh (and by extension you) is 55.

Edited
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Depending on the age of the twins, it might need one person to keep them out of the way, one person to hold one end of the pole, and another to hold the other end of the pole.

DahliaDelights · 06/09/2026 15:47

I'd tell him to go to the gym to get out the way; embarrassing enough to have to call your dad over for putting up a curtain rail, for him to actually be there while the elderly father is up the ladder doing the blue job on his behalf is more than I could bare.

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